


The Heart of the Forgotten

by slothfromhell



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - 1920s, Anxiety Disorder, Arranged Marriage, Cutting, M/M, Paranoia, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-17 19:00:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 45,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1398937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slothfromhell/pseuds/slothfromhell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the 1920's, It goes without saying that the heirs to rich families of old money are expected to marry into other rich families. Noiz is a young bachelor, the heir to an extravagantly rich family of German descent, who is promised to marry Koujaku, the son of another rich family of Japanese descent. Having many paranoia and anxiety issues, Noiz struggles to adapt to the sudden intrusion in his normally solitary life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Meeting

_"No... Vaati, please..." the desperate plea filled the confined room with an uneasy, threatening atmosphere. Noiz raised his small arms to cover his face as the belt cracked down against his fragile, welted body yet again. How many times had it happened now? He'd stopped counting after 20, as he often did._

_"Shut up." His father muttered in his gravely monotone voice. "You'll feel something if it kills you." with that, the thrash of his belt filled the room again and again, but no sound came from Noiz. Not even a whimper. It was as if the act wasn't taking place for the young boy. He just stared blankly at the floor with half lidded eyes as he kneeled, facing the opposite direction of his father. His tiny body jutted forward with each hit, but not the slightest pain had registered._

_This was nearly a nightly thing, and though the scabs and bruises formed, his father never stopped, and neither did the numbness. It drained energy from Noiz, and irritated him. The tears filling his eyes were not those of pain, but those of regret and longing. He wished he could feel. He wished that he could do that for his father, so that he wouldn't be so upset with his son every day. He wanted to feel. He wanted normalcy. He wanted to feel like an actual person instead of a punching bag._

"And remember, absolutely be on your best behavior." His mother scolded, tightening Noiz's tie for the third time. Noiz released an irritated sigh at the choking sensation around his neck. He couldn't remember the last time that he had to dress up like this. Sure, his parents threw parties at least once a month, but Noiz had never made an appearance at one of them.

Since moving to New York City from Munich, not much had changed from his perspective, as what was promised by his parents when they confirmed the move ten years prior. He was still confined to his four walls, as usual. As a matter of fact, Noiz most likely would not recognize more than half of the rooms in their mansion if they had been shown to him.

As per order of his father, Noiz was not allowed to leave his bedroom unless permission was granted to him to do so.That being said, Noiz's life had been lonely, and the life of New York was somewhat of a myth to him. He'd never experienced the dazing lights, or the boisterous bellows of music flowing from every corner of the streets, or the interesting people devouring gossip off of each other's palates of interest.

No, the most he'd done since he'd moved here was drink. One of his maids took pity on his abuse, and would sneak in a bottle or two of moonshine here and there. This helped to quell his anxiety sometimes, the smooth buzz would just fill his head and he would forget, drifting off to his own fogged world, where nothing was wrong and emotions didn't have impacts on him. It was also the only place where the deafening words of his father couldn't reach him, and he could actually find some solace and comfort inside of his own mind.

Noiz took a few steps to the mirror that loomed on the wall at the foot of his bed, and began to pick himself apart with his eyes. A decently attractive dirty blonde stood in the mirror, with serpentine eyes that seemed to drill right through anything their gaze touched. His slim, tall body was clad in a black fitted suit that he had custom made for special occasions. In fact, it was rather plain. And if it weren't for the lime green tie that lay against his chest, he would have looked deathly boring. 

God, he hated dressing up. He was glad that it was a rare occurrence, and that it would only be for a few hours at most, if he played his cards right. He drew his hands behind his back, and met his own eyes. ' _Just like you practiced...'_ he thought to himself as his lips curled into the best fake smile he could manage. He stood tall in the mirror, stiffening his jaw, trying his hardest to make himself look more refined. He sighed deeply and assumed his regular posture, that of someone who spent their life in their room. 

"Be downstairs in five minutes, not a minute later." he heard his father's voice intrude the silence of the room. His gruff tone sent a shiver down Noiz's back. "We don't want to keep your new fiance and his family waiting, so don't be rude. Its bad enough that we have to inconvenience them with your hand in marriage." the older man nodded and stepped out of the room, his wife's arm linked with his.

Noiz's husband-to-be and his family were going to be visiting for dinner. The families had figured that springing a wedding on the two of them without having them be acquainted with each other first would be a recipe for disaster, though they seemed to find nothing wrong with the fact that this would be a permanent mark on their lives, and rid them of any desires they'd had for their love lives in the future. But seeing as that didn't immediately affect the welfare of either family, they didn't really give a damn. Go fucking figure.

Noiz rolled his eyes. "Blow it out your ass." He murmured under his breath as he ran his long fingers through his mess of hair, making the last small adjustments to his exterior. It was then that he'd noticed how badly his fingers were shaking. He drew in a long, unsteady breath as he made his way to the door. "Calm down." He demanded of himself as he grasped the door handle, ordering his fingers to stay steady. 

The way this was looking, Noiz would have to bullshit his way through this entire evening. It was good that he had taken the time to practice his facial expressions and mannerisms, so he would at least come off as charming and appealing.

Noiz's footsteps fell precisely against the oak stairs that lead from his room to the living area. He took even, practiced steps across the expansive room, trying to steady his breathing as his mind roared and raced past all of the material he'd made himself memorize. He'd made up a fake list of interests and hobbies in order to make himself seem like he was worth someone's time. And even though it wasn't the real Noiz that his fiance and his family would be meeting tonight, he was fine with it. He was certain that fake Noiz would make a better husband than real Noiz. His parents had warned him to be interesting and to try and seem lively, even if only in the slightest.

But in reality, he failed to see the point of it all. He was going to be married to his fiance, regardless of if they took a liking to each other or not. And it wasn't like they would have a say in their preferences.

As Noiz entered the foyer, the pristine elegance of his residence struck him as overdone, and perhaps a bit gaudy. He didn't see the need for such a large home, but then again he may have viewed it differently i he was allowed to venture the rooms freely. All he really knew was his room, and hadn't layed eyes on much more than that when it came to the contents of the house. ' _It's for the best'_ his parents had said repeatedly every time he had implored as to why he was to be kept in his room. But he never really saw why or how this would for the best. He was almost certain that little, if any, people that his parents spoke to knew that they even had a son.

As a result of his confinement, his anxiety and depression had grown, and contact had become extremely hard for him, and he struggled often. Sometimes he was grateful that he was never allowed to attend parties or social gatherings, because he honestly hadn't the slightest idea how to act around new people. This contributed to the factor of his apprehension over what was to happen tonight.

Noiz folded his hands in front of his body and stood himself up stiffly beside his mother. He tilted his head down to view his suit again, making sure that it hadn't acquired any wrinkles during his short trek down the stairs. He looked up to his father, who nodded his approval of Noiz's exterior.

"Best behavior." His mother whispered harshly to him, to which he replied with a nod.

A stone cold expression washed over Noiz's face as he stared at the door anxiously. He sighed softly and tried to keep himself still and perfect, just like his parents had ordered him to be.

A loud ringing sounded from the tall double-door entryway of the house. A butler dressed in a tuxedo floated to the door and silently lifted the handle. Noiz threw on his well practiced, warm expression and held his breath as the butler ushered in three bodies. 

The first two to enter were an oriental couple, which could be described as greatly elegant, perhaps even exquisite. The expression of the female was cheery and hopeful, while the male reminded Noiz of a silhouette, a vacant expression eroding his face of any emotion it had previously held. 

Noiz's parents greeted them with large smiles, as if they were their absolute best friends. Noiz supposed they could be their best friends, seeing as he never knew who entered his house, when they came, when they went, or how frequently they visited. 

The third figure to emerge through the door was something of angelic descent. His deep crimson eyes spoke of excitement and aristocracy, while his hair, which was pulled into a ponytail and draped carefully over his shoulder, could remind one of dark silk. His lean, tall exterior was something to be envied and marveled over. His porcelain skin had a slight tan, and looked absolutely flawless, and complimented his sharp features perfectly. His hands were inside of the pockets of his suit coat, and the shirt that layed beneath it matched his eyes nearly perfectly. 

Noiz swore he felt his heart in his throat when his eyes scanned over him, and he suddenly felt like a lesser person. Shit, if he wasn't nervous before seeing him, he sure as hell was now. He struggled to hold in his awed expression. "P-Pleased to meet you." He finally stuttered out in a low, shaky tone. "You must be Koujaku." 

Koujaku nodded and smiled brightly at him, grasping one of Noiz's hands and giving it a gentle shake. "That'd be me." He confirmed with a wink. "You must be Noiz. And the pleasure is all mine." He chimed, his tone flowing slowly up and down with his words.  He bowed slightly and raised Noiz's hand to his lips, giving the back of it a gentle kiss, his eyes never wavering from those of his fiance.

Noiz's cheeks turned red, and he smiled politely. "I'm flattered." He commented, hoping that Koujaku wouldn't notice that his hands were shaking slightly. He smiled up at the taller man, and pulled his hand back to his side after he released it. He realized he'd been staring too long, and that was out of line for what he'd practiced. His blush deepened and he adverted his gaze over to his parents, who were making their way to the dining room with Koujaku's parents. Noiz's eyes widened as he remembered what he was supposed to do then. He extended his arm to Koujaku with a charming smile. "Shall we?"

Koujaku gave him a smug smile and linked his arm with Noiz's. "Such a gentleman." He complimented, taking steps in sync with the blond. 

Noiz's cheeks reddened slightly as he walked with him to the dining room. He was pleased with himself for pulling off the gentleman facade. He just hoped he could keep it up for the rest of the evening.

The dining room's high ceiling had a brilliant mural painted on it, consisting of clouds and angels. Noiz had always liked when he was invited downstairs for dinner, because the mural always seemed so gorgeous to him. It was intricate and detailed, and was actually something he enjoyed viewing. He took a glimpse at it now, and it helped to place a bit of a genuine smile against his lips. 

Koujaku had too noticed the beautiful mural. "Now that is something to be appreciated." He let out a gentle chuckle. He peered out of the corner of his eye and found Noiz staring up at the art with the first true smile he'd seen the man make. "You know, you have a lovely smile." He softly nudged Noiz and gave him a cheerful expression.

The German turned his head to Koujaku, the smile still prominent. "You think so?" He asked him, trying to flatten out his expression some. He didn't want to come off as unnecessarily happy, and tried a bit harder to control what his face was putting out. The smile faded slightly, though traces of it stayed just because he was complimented for the first time in years.

"Of course I do. I think you'll find that I'm rather honest." Koujaku smiled and unlinked his arm from Noiz's.

"That's a good quality to have." Noiz mentioned, pulling a velvet upholstered chair from the table and pushing it back in once Koujaku had seated himself on it. He, in turn, took a seat on the chair next to his Fiance.

 "I suppose so. " Koujaku said cheerily, turning his head slightly to accommodate their conversation. He unfolded his napkin and placed it gingerly on his lap. "So tell me about yourself, Noiz." He spoke in a casual, yet delicate tone, "I must say, I've been just  _dying_ to know who exactly I'll be marrying." He glanced at Noiz with a hopeful look in his eye.

Noiz copied Koujaku's action and placed his napkin on his lap as well. "Well, I'm a painter of sorts." He explained. This was one of the true facts about him. He'd nearly begged his parents to get him an easel and a set of paints. He verbally had fought for those, and now took the up-most care of the two possessions. "And I really enjoy music." He added as the servants brought out the starting course; and overly organized green salad served on a set of fine china that Noiz had never seen before in his life. 

"Music, huh?" The taller of the two nodded. "I love music. Sometimes when I go into town, I stop and listen to street acts. They're exciting, don't you think?" He nibbled at the salad that had been placed in front of him with a courteous smile.

Noiz had never seen a street act, but he knew what Koujaku was talking about. His maid had told him about the liveliness of the city, and how vibrant everything was, and that the streets were filled with musical talents. "I completely agree." He moved his gaze down to his plate, and picked up the fork carefully, then took cautious bites of his salad. He was used to eating at his own pace, seeing as his meals were usually all in his room. He didn't want to take bites that were too big or too small. He brought the fork to his mouth and looked to his father for approval. His father gave a subtle nod, and Noiz smiled brightly. That was perhaps the only mark of acceptance he'd ever received from the man.

Koujaku had noticed Noiz's apprehension, and gave a slight sigh. He leaned over just slightly to Noiz and whispered softly, "You know, you're not the only one that's nervous as hell." His eyes fell against his as his lips curled up slightly. "Don't worry about impressing me so much. Remember, at the end of the day, we're both just two guys placed in a difficult situation." 

Noiz's eyes widened slightly as he met his crimson gaze. "Wh-who says I'm trying to impress you?" He implored quietly, trying to keep their conversation undetectable from their parents. "I'm acting like myself. This is me. Who I am. I promise." Lie. This wasn't at all who he was. This was the him that his parents had demanded he'd be. And he was sure that one slip of his character would precede more mental and physical abuse after Koujaku had departed from their home.  

"No its not." Koujaku pointed out, biting idly at forkfuls of the salad. "Your body language is just shouting stiff and over-practiced."

Noiz gave him a glare that asked if he was being fucking serious right now. "That's a bit insulting, don't you think?" he shot at him in a rushed whisper. Noiz hated being insulted, even if the insult was true. When Koujaku said honesty was one of his qualities, he apparently meant it. 

Koujaku's eyebrows arched and he gave Noiz an apologetic look. "O-oh, i didn't mean it like that, i just meant to point it out. Forgive me, please." He uttered with a slight desperate undertone to his voice, looking over to his parents who were shooting back drilling stares at the young Asian.

So  _that's_ what it was. Noiz took note of the stares being shot at his fiance and forced a quick apology from his mouth. "Oh, It's perfectly fine, dear. I understand." He smiled warmly and rested his hand against Koujaku's shoulder. "I have a habit of taking things the wrong way, please, forgive  _me._ " He brought his hand back down to his lap, and sighed slightly in relief as their parents went back to their separate conversation. So he wasn't the only one under the pressure of his parents.

A questioning look washed over Koujaku's face. "Nice save." He complimented as the second course was brought out, and the salad plates were removed from the table. This course appeared to be lamb over some sort of rice, judging by the aroma. Noiz had only had lamb a few times in his life, but he recalled enjoying it. 

Noiz smiled slightly and cut a piece of the meat with his knife, then brought the fork to his lips and took a slow bite, chewing it thoughtfully. "You learn a few tricks after having so much expected of you." he noted, taking a sip of his water. 

Dinner went on like that for a while, the two of them exchanging words that seemed empty and meaningless, though they meant the world to Noiz. This was the most interaction he'd had in months. Noiz learned that Koujaku played the guitar, and eagerly asked for him to play for him sometime, to which Koujaku agreed on the terms that Noiz would paint him something. The more he learned, the more he wished that the night would never end. Even if this whole marriage was only to keep money in the bloodline, Noiz could get used to Koujaku's company.

After dinner, the small party relocated to the living area, where Noiz and Koujaku found themselves sitting at a love seat, side by side. 

Noiz was rather impressed with himself. He hadn't freaked out yet, and his nervousness had nearly dissipated over the past hour, though he still felt out of place and overly refined. 

"Let's take a walk." Koujaku suggested. "I noticed you have a lovely garden, I'd like to see more of it." He mentioned with a smile.

Noiz froze. Outside? He hadn't been outside in a while, and he doubted he'd be able to give Koujaku a proper tour of the garden, seeing as the fact that they even possessed one had nearly slipped his mind. "Sure, that sounds great." He said, shaking off the resurfacing anxiety. 

As Noiz stood, Koujaku took his hand with a smile and walked alongside him, his eagerness prominent on his facial expression, almost as if he were a child being taken to the fair or something.

Noiz held his hand with a gentle squeeze, putting on a mock-relaxed facade as he lead Koujaku to a hall that branched off of the living area. This hall was dark, lit by the lights and the moon shining in through the large windows at the end of it. Noiz had only been in here once or twice, and both times were on nights like this. Their steps made defined noises against the marble floor as they walked towards the door. Noiz took a moment to glance down at their hands. He wondered what Koujaku's skin felt like. He was willing to bet it was soft, perhaps even comforting. Noiz sincerely wished he could feel something; anything really. It was a wish he'd had for years now. He extended his unoccupied hand to the door handle and pushed it open, revealing the large stone patio that branched off in paths among giant patches of flowers and small trees.

The atmosphere was fragrant with that of the flowers and fruit trees, and Noiz had to take a moment to actually comprehend the scene. The breeze flowed through Noiz's blonde hair slowly, and he closed his eyes, allowing it to envelop his body. He slowly re-opened his eyes and looked up. The stars. His favorite things to look at. He smiled up at them mingling against the royal blue sky with the cream-colored moon standing by the scene silently, illuminating the entire garden.

Koujaku watched him carefully and gave his hand a light squeeze, pulling him back down from his cloud of heaven for a moment. "It's lovely." He commented, smiling as he intertwined their fingers. 

Noiz's eyes loomed over the flowers, his eyes half lidded as he found a true sense of contentment. "The garden? Oh yes, I agree. It's always been one of my favorite places." he honestly had forgotten what it looked like, and seeing it again pulled his mind back to the last time he had come out here. It was late at night, he'd ventured out alone once his parents had gone to sleep. He did this rarely, and savored each and every time he did so. He had barely felt the way Koujaku has shifted his hand, but squeezed it again idly.

Koujaku began to walk slowly towards a path that had bushes of brightly colored roses layed out on either side. He held his grip on Noiz's hand and lead him through it slowly, a constant smile presenting itself on his lips. His crimson eyes seemed softer under the moonlight, and took on a sweeter, perhaps more of a caring exposure of himself. "I absolutely love roses." He explained with a slight smile, his long fingers brushing over the petals of a blood red rose. "They could be looked at in a symbolic way." He continued, surveying the rose. "Extremely beautiful, yet their thorns make them a challenge to be picked." He turned his head to Noiz. "I get the slightest feeling that you might be like a rose, Noiz."

Noiz blushed and looked away from Koujaku, flattered by the comment. "I'm not a rose, quit your flattery." He spoke with a stern tone, though he actually had liked being complimented for once instead of being put down. He pulled Koujaku over to a bench that was settled among the garden beds and took a seat, keeping his hand occupied in his hand. He idly traced his unfeeling thumb over the back of Koujaku's hand as he gazed out to the moon once more. Inside his head, he had a small revelation of how small they really were compared to everything else, and how minuscule his problems seemed once compared to those of the universe.

The dark haired man obediently sat beside Noiz. A small blush had surfaced his cheeks as well when he noticed that Noiz was affectionately stroking the back of his hand. He raised their hands to his lips and laid a soft kiss against Noiz's knuckles. "You know, I'm glad that it was you." He spoke gently against his hand, then placed another kiss against the back of it. 

Noiz watched Koujaku's lips, desperately wishing he could feel them. "I'm nothing special." He added to his statement, tensing up slightly. 

"I think you are." Koujaku smiled and settled their hands down against the bench gently, not releasing Noiz's. 

"That's where your first mistake is going to find itself." Noiz commented, looking down at their hands yet again. It was amazing that he actually was okay with being touched by this man that he barely knew. 

Koujaku chuckled airily. "What a great mistake for me to make, then." he met Noiz's eyes and sighed contently. 

Noiz couldn't help but smile a bit at the comment. He knew that Koujaku's mistake would be terrible at heart, but he allowed him to feel as though it would be a good mistake. He nodded and looked around, trying to drink in as much of the scenery as he could before he had to leave the garden again for god knows how long. He was glad that he had this moment, and that he was the center of someone's world even if it was only just for now.

Koujaku brought his other hand up up and cupped Noiz's cheek lovingly. "Can I kiss you?" He asked gently, his eyes promising that his request was genuine.

Noiz's whole body stiffened, and he completely froze. He wanted to kiss him? Someone as gorgeous as Koujaku wanted to kiss  _him_??? "A-Are you sure that you want to-"

"There you two are." a gruff voice intruded on their private moment. Noiz's father surfaced out of the darker part of the path and sighed. "Koujaku, your parents are waiting inside, they'd like to leave." He said with an irritated tone in his voice. 

"Yes, sir. Thank you for having me." He gave Noiz's hand a light squeeze before releasing it reluctantly. "I enjoyed myself, and I honestly cant wait to visit again." He stood with a polite smile.

Noiz's eyes followed Koujaku's figure. He stood next to him and followed him inside the house, Noiz's father tailing them as they walked. His head grew hot as he imagined being alone with Koujaku with perhaps just a minute longer. A kiss. Noiz had always wanted to know what that felt like. He blushed and shook his head a bit, grasping Koujaku's hand as they made their way back down the dark hall. Noiz found himself wishing, again, that the night wouldn't have an end. He felt himself becoming drawn to Koujaku, the man that he'd originally thought would be uptight and too stiff for his own good. 

But he was so much more than that. Charming, alluring, sweet, rough around the edges, with the outer-picture of a gentleman. Noiz had never thought that so many things could combine into one human and create something that surpassed Noiz's expectation.

Koujaku glanced over at Noiz and returned a soft squeeze to his hand. "I had a lovely time, sweetheart." He nearly whispered. Upon reentering the common area, Koujaku briefly pulled Noiz to the side.

Noiz looked up at him with a bit of a surprised look on his face. He'd just noticed that the height difference between the two of them was probably about a half foot. He hadn't expected Koujaku to want just a little bit more alone time with him, yet here they were. "I'm glad." he responded shyly.

Koujaku's cheeks flushed slightly as he ducked down and kissed Noiz's cheek gently.

Noiz closed his eyes and turned his head up slightly, allowing the kiss to happen as his cheeks reddened yet again. He placed both of his hands on Koujaku's and intertwined their fingers. "Promise me you'll ring sometime?" He requested in a timid tone. Now even  _he_ didn't know why he wanted to talk to him so badly, he just felt that it was going to be something needed.

"I'll ring every day." His smile leaped back onto his lips, and Noiz's heart nearly fluttered out of his chest. Koujaku pecked his cheek once more, then released his hands. "I'll see you soon, dear." He promised as he reluctantly began to walk toward his parents and away from Noiz.

Noiz stood silently. "G-Goodbye." He uttered finally, folding his suddenly empty hands in front of himself. He watched on wordlessly as the family exited the house, and a startling, yet familiar hollowness filled Noiz's chest once again. 

Noiz's father stepped in front of the ghostly figure looming in the living area. "You did well." He grunted. Noiz could see his mother nod in agreement to his father's statement. "Upstairs, now. You know the rules." He spoke firmly.

"Yes, Vaati." Noiz dismissed himself from the room and trekked back up the stairs to his room. Once inside, he closed the door firmly and locked it, then slumped himself against it and rested his head in his hands as he slid down the door until he was sitting in front of it. He took in a deep breath and cradled his forehead against his numb palms.

His mind was running haywire, processing faster and faster each second. Koujaku. A name that he was sure would surface in his sleep. A face he knew he'd never forget. His heart sped up just thinking about him. 

Noiz decided it was time to cut the shit. He stood and began to undo the buttons of his suit coat, then his shirt. As he discarded his clothing carelessly to the floor, he made his way to his bathroom. He started up a bath and waited patiently for the tub to fill. 

He stepped in front of the mirror and surveyed his face carefully. He looked like an untouched, unmarred doll if you only looked at his face. He placed his palms on the sink counter and leaned forward, tilting his head at different angles. He raised one of his hands to his cheek, where Koujaku had kissed him. A small smile showed on his lightly colored lips. He moved back a few steps and gandered over his body. Its surface was covered in scars from untreated welts and raw skin that his father had placed on him for years. He turned his back to the mirror and looked over his shoulder, seeing the same thing, only deeper. The milky complexion of his skin had been tainted with scars of varying shades. Most were just dark pink, but some had become purple. Those were from nights that his father would act uncontrollable and use Noiz as his outlet for anger.

He shook his head and stepped away from the mirror, becoming slightly upset by the visual appearance of his scars. He turned the nobs, halting the flow of water, then lowered his body into the tub. Steam danced on the surface of the water, but Noiz didn't have the sensation of heat anywhere in his body, really. He just knew it was water, really. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to sink down into the depths of the tub. First his chin, then his lips, nose, eyes, and then finally the rest of his head submerged into the water. Silence rung thoroughly through his ears as he found a slight comfort in being completely enveloped in the water. He wrapped his arms around his knees and pulled them to his chest, a few bubbles floating to the surface when he gradually began to exhale. Here, he felt nothing but peace and emptiness. 

He raised his head up and took a deep breath, then relaxed himself against the back of the tub. His fingertips padded against the rim of the tub thoughtfully as he looked over everything that had happened that night. It all seemed so unreal. 

He stayed there for god knows how long, just pondering silently to himself and occasionally going back under the water to catch a bit of solace once more. He slowly lifted his body from the tub and pulled the plug, stepping off onto the bathmat. He dried himself carefully, ruffling his hair dry. The choking and gurgling sounds of the last of the bath water exiting the tub filled the room. Noiz noticed that his body had turned slightly pink from the heat of the water. He wrapped the towel around his waist and headed back out to his room, gathering his discarded clothes and placing them in the hamper for his maid to collect tomorrow. He pulled on a pair of boxers, flipped off the lights, then lay himself in bed and stared out the window. His room flooded with moonlight as he covered his body with his blankets. The summer would be beginning soon, and he couldn't help but think of it.

Thoughts of Koujaku creeped into his sleep-heavy head as he watched the moon soundlessly move across the sky. "Koujaku..." He spoke gently. Just his name being spoken gave him an internal shiver. He wondered if they would be able to spend more time together over the summer. Noiz's view of summer wasn't as extravagant as one might view it normally, but he knew he enjoyed the sun and the liveliness that would happen outside of his window.

And then it hit him.

What if Koujaku was the abusive type? Noiz's expression of contentment changed to that of paranoia and anxiousness. His lower lip quivered as he thought back to his past. Belts cracking against his back, blood trickling down his spine, words of hate spewing from the mouth of his father, everything that he'd hoped to leave behind some day. What if it would be the same with Koujaku?

He curled up and turned away from the window, hiding his face in his pillow. Maybe he was over-thinking, but maybe he had a reason to worry. He guessed only time would tell. His mind stayed stuck to the topic, like a fly stuck to tape as he drifted off soundlessly into sleep.

 

  _ **To be Continued In Chapter Two...**  
_


	2. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****WARNING*******  
> THIS CHAPTER HAS MANY TRIGGERING MOMENTS, I WOULD NOT SUGGEST IT IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY SELF HARM AND/OR ALCOHOLISM, CHEATING, ETC.  
> *****i APOLOGIZE****

Noiz awoke the next morning, hidden among a pile of disoriented blankets and pillows. His head was heavy with sleep, and the iridescent sunlight shining in from his window made him cringe due to his still- sleepy state. He buried his pale face into one of the pillows and drew in a deep sigh, hooking his fingers into the sheets slightly. The comfort that spread through his mind was brilliant, and felt nostalgic. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so decent. Koujaku's prominent sharp features had etched themselves into Noiz's mind as he slept, along with his tone of voice still ringing radiantly through his ears. He nuzzled his cheek down further into his pillow and shut his eyes once more. Perhaps a few more minutes of sleep would allow for a little more time in his fantasies.

Just as he thought that, a delicate knock sounded at his door. Noiz knew exactly who it was. He huffed softly and stood from his bed, pulling on a pair of black slacks and a white button-up shirt. He moved to the door with hasty strides, then opened it to reveal a small woman in her mid 40's who's name Noiz had never bothered to learn. In her hands sat a variety of breakfast foods atop a silver tray. From the looks of it, the meal was composed of a stack of pancakes, bacon, and a dish of strawberries, which were his absolute favorite thing to eat.

"Good morning, Noiz." The short woman spoke cheerily and placed the tray into Noiz's hands with a smile. She appeared as if she loved her job, when Noiz knew that he was a handful to take care of. 

"Morning." He mumbled, taking the tray over to the small table which was placed neatly near the corner of the room with two chairs stationed on either side, though only one was needed. The maid would occasionally take up the normally unoccupied chair and strike up a small conversation with him, but most of the time, he sat alone. He placed himself at the chair now and began to take small bites of his breakfast, finding it uninteresting as compared to the thought of laying in bed and returning to his dreams of Koujaku. 

The maid stepped into Noiz's room and began to collect laundry from the floor and placed it in the hamper with a spring in her step. "I trust you slept well?" She asked in a rather pitiful attempt to start up a conversation. 

Noiz nodded. "Just fine, thank you." he replied between bites of his pancakes. He already knew why she wanted to talk. It was the same reason that every servant wanted to talk. They wanted to pry into the lives of the wealthy in order to spread gossip through the streets. Seeing as Noiz had inferred this, he had anticipated her next question.

"That's good to hear. Now, how did the dinner go last night? Do you like your fiance?" She asked, perhaps a bit too eagerly. Noiz could just hear her tone dripping with the hunger for something to spread around to local tabloids. 

Bingo. Noiz spoke in a sarcastic tone "Oh yes, it was splendid to finally see the faces of my family again, too. You know, because they care so much about me and they _really_ want the best for me in my life." He rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue, moving on to his strawberries. He ate them slowly, savoring the taste and texture of the sweet fruit.

The maid sighed with a tinge of over-dramatics. "Your life is terribly tragic, love. I really hope he treats you right." She shook her head and began to make Noiz's bed with a sorrowful look on her face.He shrugged and took another strawberry into his mouth. There it was again. That familiar fear trickling into the back of his mind like a certain paranoia. He breathed in deeply, trying to block out the feeling, but to no prevail. He couldn't stop himself from getting upset over the possibility that Koujaku could abuse him and bring him back to what he so desperately wished to escape from here. "Me too." He confirmed after a while. Finding himself no longer hungry, he pushed the tray away from himself an inch or so and leaned against the table on his elbows.

The phone sounded from downstairs. "I better get that." The maid stated, taking the laundry hamper and exiting the room hurriedly. 

Noiz's insides fluttered around like a cage of unruly butterflies as he remembered what Koujaku had told him last night.  _'I'll ring every day.'_ , he'd promised. Noiz brought his hands to his lap and began to rock back and fourth slowly, like a recently docked boat. If he had called, Noiz would be extremely happy, but also extremely apprehensive. He vowed silently to himself that he would somehow slip the topic of abuse into their conversation, if it was in fact him calling.

The maid returned, smile glowing against her thin lips. "It's for you." She said with glee as she picked Noiz's tray up from the table. "Your father granted permission for you to leave the room in order to speak with your beloved." She cheered, emphasizing the word _beloved._

"Thank you." He smiled slightly, not quite sure how to feel at the particular moment. Perhaps that'd sort itself out once he got on the phone. 

He rose from his chair and walked hurriedly down the steps to the living area, buttoning his shirt as he went. He brought himself down to the couch carefully and turned to face the side table where the phone receiver lay silently. He let out a deep breath that he was unaware he had been holding in, then reached his slender fingers out to grasp the phone, bringing it to his ear carefully. "Hello, this is Noiz." He spoke into the phone, using the steadiest tone he could find.

"See, I promised I'd ring you every day." the deeper voice on the opposite end of the line bellowed sweetly, tugging a smile onto Noiz's lips. "And just to let you know, I truly missed your voice." 

Noiz sighed softly. "It hasn't been even twelve hours since you've seen me." He reminded him, crossing his right leg over his left. 

"And I already wish I could see you again." Koujaku's voice chimed in its sweet demeanor.

Noiz went quiet for a moment. He'd never thought that someone could crave his attention like that. "Then come see me." he said after a while, his voice hushed and slightly lonely. 

A vacant sigh sounded through the receiver. "You should come  _here._ " He suggested. "It'll be like a mini vacation to Japan. We have a koi pond and everything." He chuckled softly.

Noiz's eyes went wide for a moment. "I'm not sure my parents would allow me to..." He spoke honestly. "I kind of haven't left this house in a while." He ran the pad of his thumb over his nails with a regretful sigh. "Id love to, if that counts for anything." He reassured him.

"I'm sure I could talk them into it, sweetheart. After all, you're my fiance. You should be allowed to see me whenever you want." a harsher tone had found its way into Koujaku's voice. Noiz could hear how irritated he sounded, and that reminded him of what he'd wanted to ask.

"Calm down." He warned softly. "If you want to speak with my parents to see if they'll allow me to see you, then fine. But please just keep yourself calm." He said with a bit of a firm tone. 

Koujkau went silent on the other end for a moment, and Noiz had thought that He'd upset him. "I-I'm sorry, I just-"

He was cut off by Koujaku's voice returning to the line. "Don't ever be sorry for keeping me in line. I've just got a hot head on my shoulders, please don't be sorry." He nearly pleaded. 

"Alright." Noiz replied and laid his head against the back of the couch, looking up at the grand ceiling of the living area. So, Koujaku was hot headed, huh? That didn't sound too good for Noiz's well-being. He just hoped that he wasn't aggressive or anything. He heard Koujaku mumble something on the other line. "What was that?" He asked, thinking he missed his words in his own error.

"-Oh, um. Nothing. " Koujaku replied hurriedly, with a tinge of dishonesty lining his voice.

Noiz could have sworn he heard a soft giggle in the background of Koujaku's line. His heart sank and his eyes went slightly wide. "...You're busy with someone, huh?" He said with a tone that was void of any emotion. 

Koujaku mumbled something again, followed by a soft chuckle and the sound of rustling sheets, or blankets, or whatever it was that Noiz had heard. "Me? No, I'm just talking to you." That giggle sounded again, followed by a softer, air-like voice whining "Stop it, you tease." But that voice was not Koujaku's. It was slightly feminine, but not enough to be that of a female.

That bastard. Noiz's eyebrows knitted together as he balled his hand into a fist and clawed into his palm slightly, not even realizing it honestly. "Yeah. My apologies." Noiz replied, sinking down into the couch. "Anyways, whenever you're done with your little endeavor, you can call back to speak with my parents..." He placed the receiver back on the base and bit at the inside of his cheek with a dead stone expression. 

He peered down to his hand, seeing that he'd clawed into it and blood was now pooling around his nails and dripping down his wrist. He rose from the couch and slowly began to make his way to his room. 

Once inside his room, he gently closed the door and clicked the lock into place, then went into his bathroom. He ran some water from the sink and stuck his hand under the stream with a blank sigh, watching as the water dyed pink with his blood and escaped down the drain. He looked up at himself in the mirror, and saw pain deep in his sharp eyes. But it wasn't the pain of a normal person, this was the pain of someone with hope for their future, which had just been demolished.

Noiz took some gauze from the cupboard and wrapped it around his hand, covering the wounds he'd subconsciously dug into his palm. His eyes never left their reflection. He sighed and leaned against the counter. How stupid he felt for having believed that he could have had a better future. How stupid he felt for believing that someone might actually love him. Him, of all people. His eyes filled with a certain anger at the thought of Koujaku's sweet words and promises in his ears. He sunk to the floor and sat with his back against the tub, wrapping his arms around himself and clawing again, frustrated with himself and his circumstances. Why did he even try anymore? Why did he sit back and allow himself to watch his shitty life unfold? 

The tears poured from his eyes, and he let out frustrated cries of rage and disappointment. "God damn it." He said through his anguished sobs. He shook his head and pounced to his feet, stomping out to his bedroom and pulling the top drawer of his dresser out, shaking the contents to the floor. Two bottles of moonshine clanked to the ground, and he snatched them up, returning to his bathroom. He sat back in his spot and lined the bottles up next to him, then took one and unscrewed the cap, downing gulp after huge gulp of the burning liquid as his tears continued to fall. He brought his knees to his chest and continued to chug until about a fourth of the bottle had made its way into his system. 

Noiz shook his head and banged his fist against the ground in frustration with himself. He stood and reached into the cabinet again, this time bringing out a straight razor that he used to shave. He breathed in deeply and sat back on the floor, turning his wrist up. His tears kept coming as he slowly pressed the blade to his wrist and dragged it across, a thin trail of blood rising from his wrist. He squeezed his eyes closed and repeated the motion. "Feel, Noiz. Feel." He commanded himself, but to no avail. "Feel, Damn it!" He nearly yelled, pressing the blade harder to his skin. Blood dripped to the tiles, but still not a tinge of pain surfaced in his body. He dropped the blade with a delicate 'clank' against the porcelain tiles. Eleven thin slits showed brightly against his inner wrist, and the floor below the wounds had become acquainted with loudly colored red blood against its pale whiteness. 

He stood and wrapped more gauze around his wrist, then cleaned the blood on the floor with one of his discarded towels, sniffling softly. He cleaned off the razor and replaced it into the cupboard reluctantly. How easy it could be to just end it all right now, where he stood. To stop being lied to and hurt, to stop feeling emotions, to just let go of all worldly things. He shook his head and moved back to the ground. 

The burning in his throat didn't compare to what he felt in his chest and head. Noiz had been disappointed and betrayed before, but never like this. He closed his eyes and breathed out deeply, then let himself sink to the floor completely, curled up on his side. He heard the phone's shrill tone ringing downstairs, but he couldn't care less. Soon, the alcohol would overtake him and everything would be gone for a while. His worries would drown out, and he would be left blank. He continued to let the tears seep from his eyes, as he silently lay there, feeling nothing. 

Images became blurry within that hour. The knocking at his door dissipated to background noise. The bottle kept finding its way back to Noiz's lips, and about half way through it, his thoughts and worries began to collide into an unreadable code of nothingness. Noiz screwed the cap back onto his bottle and walked back to his room, the knocking still prominent on his door. He placed his bottles back in the discarded drawer, then walked to the door and opened it, his blonde hair disheveled.

"Noiz." His maid said, looking up at him. "Your fiance is here. Should I send him away, or...?"

The thought of Koujaku resurfaced, and he grimaced. "Send him up." He replied sullenly, watching her nod and walk away. Backing away from the door and sitting on the edge of his bed, he sighed. Koujaku was the very last person he wanted to see right now. He suddenly wished he'd asked for his maid to send him home. He didn't want him to see how badly the conversation they'd had prior had effected him. He moved to the other side of his bed and glared out of his window, the mid-afternoon sun illuminating the scene outside. 

A small knock sounded on the other side of his door. "Yeah." He murmured, slouched over. He heard the door open, then close firmly behind the new inhabitant of the room. He didn't turn. He had no desire to see the disgusting face of his fiance. His actions were ugly, so he tried to convince himself that he somehow had also become ugly. 

"...Noiz?" His voice beckoned, ringing like a loud bell in the silent room. 

Noiz tensed up. He couldn't remember the last time someone other than his maid had stepped foot into his room. He said nothing, not wanting to speak to Koujaku. He just slumped over, resting his chin against his hands as he watched out the window with soulless, un-present eyes.

"Noiz..." Koujaku repeated, coming to the bed and setting himself down next to the blond. He viewed his hands, seeing the gauze wrapped firmly around his wrist and palm. "What's this?" He asked, tracing his fingertips lightly over the covering of his wrist. 

The German pulled his hand away from Koujaku. "You wanna see it?" He implored sarcastically, taking the end of the gauze and pulling it until it unraveled from his wrist, the underside tinted with his blood. He held his wrist up to show Koujaku the fresh wounds he'd inflicted. "See? See it?" He badgered. "What, wanna see the other ones too? Didn't even need a fucking blade for those." He pulled the gauze from his hand, revealing the four bloody indents from his nails. His gaze lifted to Koujaku. He shook his head. "I cant believe you. You act so perfect and so great, and I just come to find out how much of a whore you are. How much of a backstabbing asshole you can be." His words slurred slightly, his cheeks red with intoxication. He re-wrapped his wounds and huffed loudly. "Fuck you." He muttered.

Koujaku knitted his brow, hurt by the words coming from his fiance's mouth, even though he knew it was all true. "I promise it's not going to happen again." He laid his hand against Noiz's with a sorrowful look on his face.

"No. No no no no." He tugged his hand away. "Look, Koujaku. You are fucking engaged. You are engaged, and you are going to be married soon." He stated matter-of-factly. His bloodshot eyes peered up at the man he'd begun to grow a hatred for. "To me. Noiz. Remember me, Koujaku? Remember when you told me you saw me as a rose, and that you thought I was great? Remember?" He nearly shouted, anger and hurt lining his words. 

The dark haired man raised his hand to Noiz's cheek and he sighed softly. "How could I ever forget?" He asked softly, looking into the drunken, vacant eyes of the other.

Noiz made a disgusted look and pushed his hand off of his face. "No, fuck you. Don't pull your smooth bullshit with me anymore." the stupor he found himself in gave him a sense of assertion that he didn't know he had. He glared up at him. "Who was he, Koujaku?" he asked with a voice that was losing its anger, and capturing more of his hurt. "Does he think of you at night? Does he spend his free time wishing he could hear your voice in his ears again?" Tears began to line his eyes. "Can he feel things?" He asked with a bitter tone. He broke into a crackled sob and hid his face in his hands.

Koujaku's facial expression turned to one of guilt. "He's my butler..." He replied. "But I broke things off with him, that was our last encounter... I promise..." he sighed. "Noiz... do you really do all of those things...?" He asked curiously. 

"Yeah, you fucking idiot." He snapped with a painful whisper through his tears.

"What did you mean by 'Can he feel things'?" Koujaku asked in a careful tone, trying to keep Noiz at bay.

"I cant." He replied plainly. "I cant feel a damn thing, Koujaku. I don't know what pain is. I don't know what good sensations are. I am numb, okay?" His tears continued rolling slowly off of his cheeks and onto the sheets.

Koujaku sighed deeply and wrapped his arms around Noiz, drawing him in close. "I had no idea..." He whispered, placing a kiss against Noiz's head.

Noiz didn't have the energy to reject Koujaku's embrace. He just lay in his arms lifelessly, like a doll. He hadn't ever been held like this. He readjusted his head to rest against his shoulder and sighed. "Well, now you do, asshole..." He drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. 

Clouds began to roll in, blocking out the sun slightly and making the scene outside of the window become a few shades darker. Koujaku pulled himself onto the bed and tugged Noiz into his lap, wrapping his arms around the limp-bodied man with a sigh. "I want to be with you. I promise I do." He said softly into his ear. His long fingers stroked his hair softly as he held Noiz.

Noiz didn't move much in his arms. He just accepted being held. He closed his eyes and let his arms hang from his body lifelessly. "Prove it to me. Your words are obviously something I cant trust." he replied in a whisper as a few drops of rain began to sprinkle against the window. 

Koujaku placed his hand against Noiz's jaw gently, then raised his head from his shoulder and looked him in the eye. "I'll try my hardest." He replied, then leaned forward slowly, letting his eyelids drop over his eyes as his lips connected with Noiz's.

A certain shock filled Noiz's body. A physical sensation. He felt his lips move slowly against his own, and furrowed his brow slightly. It didn't feel right. It felt like a forced kiss, but the way Koujaku used such an intense passion on his lips, Noiz knew it had to be something more than just that. Without thinking much, he draped his arms around Koujaku's shoulders and allowed his lips to move in time with his, slipping his eyes shut.

Their breathing seemed to take on a more nervous tune as the kiss happened. Noiz was the first to pull away, his cheeks even brighter than they had been. He said nothing, perhaps just a bit too shocked to do so. His eyes met the deep crimson of Koujaku's, and he turned to look away. "You're not going to make me fall for you." he said, quite unsure if he was even right about that. 

"I can try." Koujaku replied, a slight smile finding its way to his lips. He pressed his lips to Noiz's again, his intent purely to make him feel better.

Noiz kissed back, his body exhilarated with the feeling that came with Koujaku's sweet kisses. He at first thought that the kisses may have been just to win him over again, but now as they continued, he thought again. Perhaps this was what Koujaku actually wanted. He parted his lips slightly, trying to move with the rhythm of the kiss as best he could. He couldn't help but feel awkward, never having had affection like this. 

Koujaku's body relaxed and he parted his lips as well, then brought his tongue forward into Noiz's mouth, gently pressing his tongue to his.

His tongue came alight with the feeling of Koujaku's against his. He rubbed his tongue gently against it, feeling his first sensation of another human. He sighed and pulled away slightly, not wanting to get too caught up in the moment. He supposed that this sort of thing would be good in moderation. 

"Something wrong?" Koujaku asked softly, pressing one of his hands against Noiz's jaw line. 

"N-no." He replied softly. He rested his head against Koujaku's with a deep sigh, still in shock.

Koujaku placed his hands on Noiz's hips and pulled both of them completely onto the bed. He held Noiz to him as he laid back against the pillows.

Noiz went to voice his protest, but then stopped and just allowed his head to rest against Koujaku's chest. He turned his head to the window, watching the steady drizzle of rain come down. He focused on Koujaku's breathing. The way that he felt his chest rise and fall made him feel so close to him, so intimate and secure. 

Koujaku wrapped his arms protectively around Noiz and kissed his forehead gently. "Don't hurt yourself over me again, okay?" He mumbled and pressed his cheek against Noiz's forehead softly, looking out to the rain as well.

"Don't ever give me a reason to again, okay?" He retorted, wrapping his arms around Koujaku's shoulders and closing his eyes, his head beginning to hurt from the grey light shining in. He badly wanted to pull away and tell Koujaku to leave. He was still so upset with him, so upset with his betrayal and all of the confusion he'd filled Noiz with, he honestly knew he'd detest him when the alcohol swimming in his head dissipated.

So he clung to him tightly, like this moment was the only one he'd have with him. It was almost like he wanted to love him, but knew that he couldn't for what he did. He traced his fingertips against Koujaku's nape, wishing so hard that he might be able to memorize him by touch. He still felt nothing. Frustrated, silent tears began to flow again from his eyes as he let his fingers move through Koujaku's hair slowly, being as gentle as he knew how to be. His hands began to tremble slightly.

Koujaku sighed deeply and rubbed his hand against Noiz's back in a comforting way.  He closed his eyes as well, focusing purely on the way Noiz's hands felt against him. His heartbeat had a steady melody that filled Noiz's ears as he tried to will himself to feel.

The blonde buried his face into Koujaku's chest and allowed his tears to proceed. He silently hoped that Koujaku wouldn't judge him for his tears, and that he'd understand.

Slowly, his mind dragged him into a deep sleep. His Head didn't leave Koujaku's chest, and his hands didn't leave his body as he found nothingness for the while that he would be in this coma-like state. The only sounds in his head were Koujaku's breathing and heartbeat, and the rain pattering against the glass. Numbness was all he felt, as always.

Koujaku laid in the bed, stroking Noiz's hair unhurriedly as he unsealed his eyes half way and listened to the rain fall dully. His thoughts had cleared and his body had relaxed, and his focus became his fiance, passed out in his arms. He smiled slightly as he watched him stir. He held him a bit tighter. "I'm here." He whispered softly in an attempt to steady his disrupted sleep. He kissed his forehead and shut his eyes once more, then he too found his way into the sweet oblivion of sleep. 

When Noiz awoke, the room was dark and the sun was sinking slowly but surely over the horizon. The alcohol had stopped clouding his mind, and his head felt groggy. He lifted his head just enough to glance up at Koujaku. Right. He was here. Noiz felt disgusted by him, but yet enchanted. His sleeping face appeared so sweet, so caring, so perfect. It was a face that Noiz had invested his trust into. A face that he thought of at night. But right now, he had half a mind to slap him. He sighed irritably, not loud enough to rouse the sleeping Asian from his sleep. He sunk back into his arms, not even caring anymore. He knew that he wasn't getting out of their marriage, so he may as well pretend to be happy. He lay there and waited for Koujaku to wake. 

About a half hour passed, and the sun had left the sky a dark purple, the stars beginning to show through the facade of daylight. Koujaku's crimson eyes opened finally. Noiz looked up at him silently, his eyes bloodshot from the combination of tears and moonshine. 

The two lay there silently, neither daring to move their arms from the other. Koujaku ducked his head slightly, coming in for a kiss. 

Noiz brought his fingertips to his lips and firmly pressed his index and middle finger against them. "No." He murmured, pain lining the simple word. 

Koujaku met his eyes with an upset, nearly apologetic look. He softly began to kiss Noiz's fingers and the back of his hand, his eyes never straying from his.

Noiz sighed and leaned up as he pulled his hand away and kissed Koujaku briefly. "Happy?" He asked, his voice still filled with hurt.

"Not quite." Koujaku replied, stealing another kiss from Noiz. This one, he kept persistent, his lips moving steadily against the other's. His arms tightened around him, and the kiss began to take on an essence of desire and pure enchantment for Noiz.

Noiz kissed back curiously. He found the new feeling strange, he'd never imagine to have found an emotion being conveyed through a kiss, yet here he was, knowing exactly what Koujaku had wanted to say. 

The larger man pulled away slowly, cupping Noiz's cheek in his hand. "I think love you." He mumbled, pressing his forehead against Noiz's.

Noiz's eyes grew blank at the word. Love. His body became stiff, and he thought back to another time and place.

_"Nobody is ever going to love you!" His mother exclaimed, her eyes full of fury. "Not if you can't feel!" She continued._

_Noiz was backed up in a corner, his parents taking turns screaming at him about how he was such an unlovable person, and how nothing would happen right in his life._

_He watched as his mother stormed from the room. His father stood silently, his glare piercing through Noiz's tear-stained face. "I will never love you. How could I?" His harsh voice filled Noiz's ears, and the tears came down again._

_Noiz dropped to his knees, his eyes wide and frightened. If his parents didn't love him, how on earth would anyone else ever do it?_

Noiz resurfaced from his memory, breathing heavily and clutching at the sheets.

Koujaku grabbed his shoulders. "Hey. Hey! Stop it, It's okay!" He nearly yelled, trying to get through to Noiz. 

He caught his breath and met Koujaku's eyes. "No you don't. You don't think you love me. Nobody can, nobody. They were right, they always are right, you can't love me. You cant." He looked ahead blankly, not focusing on any object. "Y-You cant..." He repeated. 

"But I do." His fiance replied after a while, softly stroking his hair. "I don't just think it. I know it." He corrected himself. 

"No." Noiz stated plainly and climbed off of Koujaku, sitting at the edge of his bed and leaving him to lie alone.

Koujaku's body suddenly grew cold without the pressure and heat of Noiz's body against his. He sat up and wrapped his arm around Noiz's shoulders. "I have news." He said, trying to change the topic.

Noiz turned his head to Koujaku. "...What news?" He asked curiously. He was just as desperate to distract himself from the topic of being doomed to never be loved.

A smile formed on Koujaku's lips. "You've been granted permission to come visit me." He said in a singsong voice. 

The smaller of the two nodded. He was eighteen years old, and he had never really been on much of an outing, other than the move to America. Eighteen years locked up in one room was such a long time. "Really?" he asked with slight excitement in his voice.

Koujaku nodded and placed a kiss against Noiz's forehead. "So I'm sending my chauffeur for you tomorrow. Ten AM sound alright?" He asked happily.

"Sounds perfect." He replied. "And listen... I'm sorry that you had to see me like that, I apologize for my rude behavior." He said softly, trying to revert to his gentleman facade again.

"No Don't apologize. I deserved every word." He confirmed. "What time is it?" He asked, checking his watch hurriedly. 

Noiz referenced the clock hanging about his door. "Eight thirty." He stated, rubbing his eyes. "Gotta go?" He asked, placing his hand against Koujaku's reluctantly. 

"Sadly, yeah." He replied, giving his hand a slight squeeze. "I'll call you in the morning so that I know you're awake." He smiled. "I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow." He brushed his thumb along the back of Noiz's hand.

"Alright." He nodded, standing from his bed with Koujaku and walking to the door. 

Koujaku grabbed the door handle, then turned and suddenly kissed him. 

Noiz kissed back with a slightly shocked expression.

"I really do love you." Koujaku stated. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said softly, opening the door. He pulled his hand from Noiz's slowly as he walked away. "Goodbye, my rose."

Noiz blushed and smiled slightly. "Goodbye." He whispered, closing his door yet again after Koujaku had disappeared down the hallway.

Noiz turned and threw himself onto the bed, confusion boggling his mind. His emotions for Koujaku were rampant, romping and tearing apart bits of his own mind as he lay there with his face in his pillow, which smelled like Koujaku now. 

He wanted to hate him. He wanted so badly to hate him and resent every action he made, but he just couldn't. His grace, charm, pristinity, and words all pulled him into one large spellbound mess. 

He stood and went to his window, opening it and leaning against the pane. The rain had nearly stopped, just a steady sprinkle coming down in place of the drops from earlier. The scent from outside was perfect. Rain was one of Noiz's favorite things. He watched as the tail lights of a coupe drove away from the house. Koujaku. His heart stuttered when he thought of him again. Noiz looked up at the stars and sighed, viewing the constellations that he wished he could touch. 

After a while, Noiz finally pried himself from the window and went to the small desk in the adjacent corner of the room. From the drawer, he pulled a leather-bound book and an ink well and pen. He opened the book and lay it flat against the desk. 

Noiz was a bit of a writer, but he only wrote when his emotions were overbearing. 'Dear Journal,' he etched into the page with elegant strokes of the pen.

'I think I may just know what love is now.'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I cried a lot while writing this chapter because I relate so much to the circumstance Noiz is placed under (bless my girlfriend for comforting me when i started sobbing over Noiz's self harm). I hope you guys liked it, I tried my hardest to capture the emotion! As always, I will post chapter 3 within a week~! Thank you for reading!!!


	3. Little Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noiz leaves his home for the fist time in years in order to see Koujaku at his own residence.

A dim, grey light filled Noiz's room, the sweet tunes and bellows of birds flowing in through the cracked window. Noiz had slept at his desk and awoke with his cheek pressed up against a full page of writing he had done the previous night. He had been awake for a while now, just staring blankly into nothing, not stirring at all. The clock informed Noiz that it was 8 AM. Two hours until Koujaku's chauffeur would be coming to pick him up. 

Noiz gave a heavy sigh and pulled himself up from his desk. His head felt foggy. A sharp pain filled the inner-most parts of his head, and he felt as if he were about to fall. He heaved and ran for the bathroom, nearly tripping in the process. He kneeled beside the toilet and emptied the contents of his stomach into it, panting softly. 

His hangovers had never been the easiest to overcome, and they usually took tolls on his ability to stand for long amounts of time, or be around bright lights. Noiz remembered his first hangover. He didn't leave his bed all day except to vomit, and he shielded himself under his blankets to avoid any and all light. 

The second wave of nausea swept over him, and he heaved again, vomiting whatever was left in the pit of his stomach. He shook his head and huffed, then stood and hobbled to the sink, starting the cold water up. He plugged the sink and allowed it to fill up nearly all the way. He choked off the water, then took in a deep breath and stuck his face into the sink, blinking his eyes a few times within the water. 

Granted, the temperature of the water wouldn't do anything for Noiz, but it would do something for what little of him could feel. The rush of cold water hit his eyes, and he suddenly felt more awake and alert. He brought his head out of the water and pulled the sink plug out, the grabbed his toothbrush and began to brush his teeth idly as he unbuttoned his shirt and discarded it to the floor.

He ran his tongue along the side of the bristles, finding the texture interesting. The disgusting taste of bile dissipated from his mouth as he rinsed and dabbed the corners of his mouth with a rag. He stretched his arms out with a semi-loud yawn, then carried himself to his closet. 

He stepped inside of the unnecessarily immense closet and looked around. He wasn't sure what to wear to Koujaku's. Should he go for something more casual or formal? He assumed Koujaku wouldn't mind either way, but he really wanted to make sure he looked decent. 

He placed his index finger on his chin, scanning over the contents of his closet. He shifted a few of the hangers, then smirked slightly and withdrew a black button-up shirt and a plain pair of black slacks. He figured something like this would be near the middle of casual and formal, so therefore it would be perfect. Well, at least he hoped it would be. 

Noiz changed quickly, then reentered his room. He noticed that his bed had been made and that his breakfast was waiting for him on the table. Alongside the breakfast was a glass of water, a cup of what looked to be ginger tea, and a small bottle of pain killers. By the looks of the miscellaneous drinks and pain killers, he assumed his mad was aware that he was extremely hung over.

He took a seat and began to sip at the tea, popping a few pain killers into his mouth before he began to eat his breakfast. A few moments later, his maid emerged from his bathroom and took a seat at the empty chair across from him. 

"So I hear you're going to his house today." She said with a smile, folding her hands in her lap, her cheery expression lighting up her face as it always did. 

Noiz nodded, then spoke between bites of his breakfast. "He should be calling soon to make sure I'm awake. He's sending a car at ten to transport me." He noted that he also sounded awfully cheery, although he honestly wasn't sure if he wanted to be around Koujaku. He'd honestly upset Noiz past the point of what was acceptable and tolerable. Perhaps it was the mere fact that he was being allowed to leave the house for the day. He hadn't been off the grounds of the estate since they'd moved to New York. 

"That sounds lovely, dear." She smiled perkily, then gasped. "I almost forgot!" She exclaimed, reaching into the pocket of her apron. She placed a small tube of what appeared to be antibiotic ointment in front of his tray. "Please put that on your cuts, the last thing we want is an infection." she said in a hushed tone. 

"Thank you for all of this." He said gratuitously, finishing the last bites of the food placed in front of him. He reached forward and took the tube, then rose to his feet and walked to his bathroom.

His maid smiled and watched as he walked. "You're very welcome. It was no trouble." she leaned against the chair and crossed her legs, a casual grin against her lips. 

Noiz stood in front of the sink and carefully unwrapped the gauze from his wrist and palm. The cuts looked inflamed and red, which Noiz knew was a sign of infection. He'd never cared if his wounds had been treated or not, he couldn't feel them anyway. He discarded the slightly bloody gauze, then emptied a bit of the ointment onto his fingers and applied it to his cuts carefully. He took some new gauze from the cupboard and re-wrapped his injuries.

He exited the bathroom and took his seat again, continuing to sip at his tea. "Pardon me, I know I've never bothered to ask but, what is your name?" He asked politely, hoping she wouldn't take offense.

"Oh, its not important, but since you asked, my name is Yoshie." She informed him with a smile.

Noiz nodded as he finished his tea. "I'm sorry for never asking." Just then, the metallic shrill of the phone made its presence known. 

"Ooh, that must be him!" Yoshie cooed, standing and making her way out of the room. 

Noiz rose from his chair, then sighed. Everything felt very deja-vu to him today. That collided with his nervousness over leaving the house, and his hangover, and all of his emotions about Koujaku left him feeling very uneasy. But he still tried to make himself seem like nothing was wrong, and that he would be absolutely fine. He was good at that.

A few moments later, Yoshie returned to the room and nodded happily. "Go on, go on!" she waved her hands towards the stairs excitedly.

Noiz nodded and exited the room with his usual blank expression. He padded down the stairs without much of a rush to his steps. He took a seat at the couch and once again lifted the phone to his ear. "Hello, Koujaku." He said with a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Good morning, dear. I'm glad you're awake." His golden voice replied cheerily.

Noiz shrugged. "I've got a massive headache, its not like my body would have allowed me to sleep for much longer, regardless."  

A soft click of Koujaku's tongue sounded through the phone line. "Would you rather postpone, then?"

"No, no, no, I'm fine. I just took a few painkillers, Everything is gonna be fine." He assured him. He just wished he could reassure himself in such a way.

Koujaku's smile could nearly be heard through the line. "Alright. I'll be sending my chauffeur out for you soon, then. Can't wait."

Noiz drew in a deep breath. "Yeah. Me either." He wasn't sure if he meant that. He could already feel his nervousness creeping over his mind.

"Bye for now, my rose." His charming tone complimented, then the line went dead.

Noiz hung the phone up and rolled his eyes. Koujaku was such a flirt, it nearly made him want to vomit again. He stood from the couch, but froze when his feet hit the ground. His father stood at the other side of the room with his hands behind his back, his face grimly serious. 

"Come here." He demanded lowly, a piercing look in his eyes.

Noiz nodded and closed the distance between him and his father slowly, each step feeling heavier and more hesitant. He stopped in front of the taller man, looking him in the eye. "Yes?" He asked politely, trying not to give away the immense amount of intimidation he felt.

His father sighed and glared at him. "You are leaving the house today to see your fiance, and there are only a few reasons why I have permitted this." his deep tone informed Noiz. "He's your fiance, and you seem to have grown attached to him, so we have reason to believe you wont pick a fight with him or anything" He continued.

Noiz nodded. "Yes, Vaati. I enjoy being in his company, and would never hurt him." He said softly. In all truth, given the right circumstances, he would totally show Koujaku what he thought of all of the bullshit he'd put Noiz through in such a small amount of time.

His father leaned in and sneered. "If I hear one bad comment about what happens today, you'll never leave this house again." He threatened.

The smaller of the two kept a blank expression, not feeling the slightest bit scared of losing the privilege to leave the estate. He'd been locked in this house for years, nothing would change. "Understood, Vaati." He murmured, keeping his jaw stiff.

"Good. Now, return to your room an wait there until somebody retrieves you." His father sighed irritably and turned, leaving the room.

Noiz stood there with a vacant expression, left alone again for the umpteenth time. Watching his father walk away, a small voice left his throat, and it nearly felt involuntary. "Vaati?" He said softly, looking at the back of his head.

His father turned and stared back at his son. "Yes?"

Noiz sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, his eyebrows knitting together. "Am I doing alright? Is everything going the way you and Mutti wanted it to go?" He implored with a desperate tone in his voice. He was always eager for approval, no matter what area it may have been in.

His father peered at the ground with a sigh, then took a few steps to his son and rested his hand against his shoulder. "You're doing better than we expected." He confirmed. 

Noiz met his eyes and nodded. "Thank you. Thank you so much." he said softly.

"Don't get too full of yourself. This is far from over." His father warned, then released his shoulder and began to walk away again.

"Right." Noiz answered, then turned and brought himself back up the stairs. His spirits had lifted slightly at the praise he'd received from his father. He just wished it was more frequent, and not so much of a rarity that it made Noiz question his mental state.

The blond pulled a chair from his table over to the window and leaned, once again, against the pane and stared out to the driveway. He couldn't believe that he was going to leave for the first time in years. He'd always longed for freedom, the ability to go where he pleased and do whatever he felt suited himself. This was New York. The possibilities were endless. Anything could happen. Even his freedom could happen. 

Noiz alternated his gaze between the window and the clock. It was only 9:46, but he felt anxious. He wanted to just leave the house already. But he figured if he could wait eighteen years for his first chance at freedom, he could wait another fourteen minutes. He was so absorbed in the thoughts of being away from home that he nearly forgot that he'd be with Koujaku again. What would he do if he started apologizing for cheating again? He doubted he'd be able to bite his tongue. 

At ten o' clock on the dot, a black coupe made its way up the finely paved driveway. Noiz recognized it as the car Koujaku had driven the previous night. He got to his feet and re-positioned the chair in front of the table. He placed himself in front of the mirror and quickly fixed his hair, then ran his fingertips over the collar of his shirt and made a last second decision to unbutton the first and second buttons, showing just a bit of skin and giving himself a bit more of a casual look. A harsh knock sounded from the door.

Yoshie entered the room with her beaming smile. "Your ride is here, sir." She bellowed in a sing-song voice. 

Noiz nodded and mumbled his thanks, then stepped out of his room with a slight smile, then descended the stairs quickly.

At the front door stood a man around his age, perhaps a few years older. His hair was a reddish brown and cascaded nearly over his seafoam green eyes. His skin was olive-toned, and littered with tattoos here and there. The most notable ones were on his neck, elegant curves swerving into an intricate pattern, and a teardrop that had been tattoed beneath his eye. "Hello, you must be Noiz." The man smiled. "I'm Mizuki. I'll be chauffeuring you to your fiance's residence."

Mizuki, huh? That was a name Noiz had never heard. His voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on where or when he'd heard his voice. "It's a pleasure." He reciprocated with a charming smile as he followed Mizuki through the main door and out to the sidewalk. 

Noiz looked around, nearly having forgotten what the exterior of his home looked like. He trailed Mizuki with a smile, a rush of excitement sweeping over him as he slid into the back seat of the car.

Mizuki took his place behind the wheel and began to back up the car. "So, Koujaku speaks pretty damn highly of you." He stated as they began to drive down the road that Noiz had long since forgotten.

"Oh really?" He said with an indifferent tone, more interested in the passing scenery and the way it felt to be in a car than the conversation. Everything moved quickly, and things seemed to change in his eyes. He was so used to slow movement, an environment that never changed. This was something foreign.

"In fact, he wont shut up about you. I find it adorable, I swear I've never seen someone so lovestruck." Mizuki commented, placing one of his arms on the back of his seat. His voice was light and... airy... like that of a female's, just not quite as feminine...

Suddenly it clicked in Noiz's mind. This was the man he'd heard on the line with Koujaku yesterday, without a doubt. "Hm. I've never been in love like this, i swear its surreal." He lied, trying just to flaunt to Mizuki that he had won Koujaku over. He didn't know why he'd done it other than the fact that he wanted to piss him off.

Mizuki nodded. "Good to hear. I'm happy for you two." He added, seeming unaffected by Noiz's deliberate attempt at making him jealous.

"I'm happy, too. I can't wait to see him." He said with a smile. That statement was partially true. His curiosity as to what would happen was eating away at him, and he just wanted to get there and find out already. He hoped that today would be the day that his emotions for Koujaku would be sorted out.

Mizuki shrugged, a bit of hurt crossing his face. "Well, we're here, so your wait is over." He said with a mock-cheerfulness to his voice. 

Noiz brought up his best fake smile as they pulled into the driveway. The mansion towered over everything, casting a large shadow over the driveway. Everything was fenced in, so he couldn't really see much more than the enormous cream colored pillars that seemed to hold the entire house. Noiz spotted Koujaku waiting by the door, and a crack of a genuine smile placed itself where the fake one had been. 

Once the car stopped, Mizuki exited the car and opened the door for Noiz. 

The German stepped out and flashed his smile to Koujaku, then stuck his hand out to shake Mizuki's. He leaned down slightly and whispered menacingly, "If I ever hear about you laying your hands on my fiance again, that voice isn't gonna be the only feminine thing about you." His eyes went half lidded and he smirked, then released his hand and stepped away to Koujaku. 

Mizuki stood there, his jaw nearly dropping to the pavement as he closed the door.

Noiz chuckled to himself softly, then wrapped his arms around Koujaku's neck and pulled him close. "Hey, darling." He smiled, kissing his cheek softly. At this point, he was just showing off.

The taller of the two smiled vibrantly and placed his hands on Noiz's hips, then kissed him deeply and longingly.

Noiz kissed back eagerly, threading his fingers into his fiance's hair as their lips mingled together, the vigor as if they hadn't seen each other in years. He pulled away slightly and winked in Mizuki's direction, sealing the promise that Koujaku was his territory.

Koujaku placed one of his hands on Noiz's jaw with a light smirk. "My, what's gotten into you?" He asked, placing a kiss against his forehead. 

Noiz shrugged with a smile. "I must have just missed you." He pecked his lips and took his hand, feeling confident as hell now that he'd gotten his freedom and his revenge.

"That much, huh?" Koujaku grinned and squeezed his hand, leading him to the door. He opened it, revealing an extravagant Oriental themed home. Koujaku removed his shoes, and Noiz did the same out of respect.

"Yes, of course." Noiz reassured him, looking around the house in awe. Koujaku was right, this place really was like a mini-vacation to Japan. "Wow, this is gorgeous. I'm amazed." His voice trailed off as he examined the elegant pictures on the walls. They were phenomenal in comparison to what Noiz's artistic ability allotted.

The taller man watched as Noiz examined his new surroundings. Koujaku's expression was content, and he held onto his lover's hand as they walked through the common area. "Just wait until you see outside. We've got a koi pond and everything." He laid a gentle kiss against Noiz's temple.

"Id love to see." Noiz said, letting his expression begin to shift back to neutral, though he was sure it wouldn't stay in that area for long. He was far too excited to act as though he wasn't. 

Koujaku smiled and tugged on his hand slightly, bringing him in the direction of the back door. "Then come on, I'll show you."

Noiz followed soundlessly, in awe of the whole situation. He wanted to take everything in and to never forget this experience. He knew it wouldn't happen frequently, so he supposed that he should enjoy every moment. 

Koujaku pushed open the door, leading to an articulate and expansive garden. The path was stone paved and vibrant, and everything about the atmosphere was pristine. 

"Wow." Noiz whispered, his eyes looking from the path to the other elements of the garden, such as the small statues that were placed among the plants. They looked hand made, and they added character to the surrounding setting. Noiz could see in the distance that a gazebo stood proudly at the center of the entire scene. "Koujaku, this is absolutely amazing." He commented, his eyes wide. Noiz felt calmer and more relaxed in this environment. Wasn't it a Japanese belief that a certain balance of a surrounding could effect one's mood? He was certain that it had worked if that was so.

The Asian walked alongside his fiance, taking a simple enjoyment at the fact that he was so happy. "The koi pond is this way." He motioned down the path and started down it.

Noiz nodded and continued alongside him. As the pond came into view, Noiz was reminded of how he felt when completely submerged in his tub. Content. Peaceful. Untouchable. In this instance, he saw himself like one of the brightly calico colored koi. He saw himself as happy, something so rare for him. 

Koujaku seemed to be more interested in Noiz than anything else around him. He studied his actions, his expressions, his reactions, everything he could gather. 

Noiz would have picked up on Koujaku's constant analyzing if it weren't for how enticed he was by what was happening around him. He was usually very good about recognizing vibes, but today was an exception, and his sixth sense decided to take a rest.

Soon, the morning turned to afternoon, the sun burning brightly above the two. They'd relocated back inside of Koujaku's home to avoid the heat. Noiz sat quietly at the table with Koujaku, clasping a glass of lemonade in his hand and taking occasional idle sips. 

Koujaku placed his forearm against the table with a confident smile. "So, you like it?" He asked.

Noiz nodded as he took a sip of his lemonade. "It's enchanting. Absolutely gorgeous." He complimented, leaning against the table slightly. "I can't believe that you live in such a perfect environment, no wonder you're always so composed." He smiled. He was sure that Koujaku had cracked a few times, regardless of the serene environment. Koujaku did admit that he had a temper.

"So, remember our little deal we made the night that we met?" Koujaku smirked slightly resting his cheek against the palm of his hand. 

Noiz tilted his head slightly. "Deal? What deal?" He asked, trying desperately to recall what deal he could have possibly made with him. 

"I'll play guitar for you if you paint me something." He reminded him, raising an eyebrow.

Noiz sighed and nodded. "Yeah, sorry I forgot." He blushed slightly, hoping that he hadn't made an ass of himself by forgetting. "Why do you ask?" He implored, continuing to take polite sips of his lemonade.

Koujaku placed his glass at the middle of the table and one of the butlers refilled it with the neon yellow liquid. "I wanted to play for you today." He said, pulling the glass back to himself and taking a thoughtful drink of it. "Would that be alright?"

The blond blushed. Koujaku really wanted to play for him? "That'd be amazing, actually. I'd love to hear you play." He gave him a light smile as he finished his drink.

Koujaku rose from his seat and extended his hand to Noiz. "Alright, come on then. But you have to hold up your end of the deal next time I visit." He chuckled softly.

Noiz took his hand and lifted himself from his seat. "I will, I swear." He confirmed gratefully as he was lead from the room into a long corridor, which ended with a spiral staircase. He carefully walked up the stairs, never letting his hand stray from Koujaku's. 

Koujaku turned his head every now and then to meet Noiz's gaze briefly as he guided him through the immensely large house. He stopped in front of a large black double-door with brass handles. He pushed the doors ajar and smiled. "This is my room." His free hand made a sweeping gesture over the new setting. He moved across the room with Noiz's hand still in his and sat himself on the bed.

It was decorated with oriental paintings like the ones downstairs, but something about it was notably different. It was less refined and more worn out, giving it a homey touch. One that was welcoming and demanded less elegance than the rest of the house. The bamboo flooring remained the same as most of the house, but the room just felt so extremely different, and it gave off the absolute essence of Koujaku as a person, not the rich son of a Japanese family. 

Noiz looked over the contents of the room with a slight smile affixing itself to his features. He no longer felt out of place or awkward. "It's nice." He replied, settling himself down next to Koujaku. He noted Koujaku's guitar sitting on a stand a few feet away from the bed. 

Koujaku leaned over and kissed the side of Noiz's head softly, then reached for his guitar and sat it on his lap. "Maybe you should come over more often if you like it so much here." He suggested.

Noiz smiled at that. "I'd love to, really." He said honestly. He would've wanted to come back regardless of if Koujaku would be there or not. He enjoyed how calm he felt, and how alive everything was. It was a huge change from what he was used to. It was free.

The other man positioned his fingers on the fret board and gave the strings a slow strum. "Ready?" He asked, leaning over his guitar slightly and turning his head to Noiz.

Noiz nodded and placed his elbows on his knees, waiting patiently to hear what Koujaku would play.

Koujaku nodded in reply, then began to strum soulfully at the strings, a bittersweet melody spilling out from the instrument. He closed his eyes as his fingers moved carefully over the strings and frets.

The blissful tune that carried throughout the room and bounced gracefully off the walls made Noiz's stress melt away nearly instantly. He swayed slightly where he sat, watching Koujaku's fingers as they moved skillfully. 

Just when it seemed that it couldn't get any better, Koujaku parted his lips and began to softly sing to the sweet tone.

_"If you be my star, I'll be your sky_   
_You can hide underneath me and come out at night._   
_When I turn jet black, and you show off your light,_   
_I live to let you shine._   
_But you can skyrocket away from me,_   
_and never come back if you find another galaxy,_   
_far from here with more room to fly._   
_Just leave me your stardust to remember you by."_

Koujaku opened his eyes half way and gazed into Noiz's eyes, a small smile present against his lips. This sealed the promise that his song was directed at him, and that he meant every word. 

Noiz smiled softly in reply, resting his head against Koujaku's shoulder as he continued to sing. He let his eyes sink closed as he felt the emotion embedded in Koujaku's tone. He couldn't help but think why Koujaku would waste such a beautiful talent on such a broken person.

Once Koujaku had stopped playing, the room grew silent other than the slow breathing of the couple. Koujaku placed his guitar carefully back on its stand, then returned to Noiz, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and kissing him gently. "Was that alright?" He asked shyly.

Noiz opened his eyes slowly. "It was great. I loved it." He said, keeping his eyes on the crimson ones of his fiance. He pulled himself closer to the other and held him tightly, quite honestly amazed by his talent. 

Koujaku looked out to the window, where the sun was beginning to kiss the horizon. He nuzzled his cheek against Noiz's with a careful demeanor, then took both of his hands and squeezed them gently. "Come on. I want to show you something." He smiled, rising from the bed and walking to a glass door on the side of the room that Noiz hadn't noticed before. Koujaku opened the door slowly and brought Noiz out onto the veranda that had outstretched from the room. 

From this veranda, everything was visible. The entire garden and scene that they had explored earlier that day, houses that belonged to other families and even the Long Island Sound, but most importantly, the sunset was gorgeous and brilliant. The sky was filled with varying hues of reds and purples, and the sky preceding it all faded into darker shades of blue, where the first signs of stars were coming to life. 

Noiz held his breath in, taken aback by how detailed everything was from this height, and for the second time since meeting Koujaku, he was reminded how small he was in comparison to the universe and everything in it. He leaned against the railing and grasped Koujaku's hand, unable to mutter any sort of word as he watched the mesmerizing sun begin to sink under the horizon. 

Koujaku situated one arm around Noiz's shoulders and pressed his cheek against the side of Noiz's head, watching on silently with him. He didnt dare to break the silence, because it seemed precious and sacred. It allowed for the two to have the moment, engrossed in thoughts of one another without voicing any of these inward thoughts. It made for something deep, something un-achievable by normal standards.

And suddenly, it clicked. Everything clicked. Noiz's mind had found its standing point on where his emotions for Koujaku lie. A certain lightness entered Noiz's chest, and the clarity of his emotion started a fire where the lead-heavy cavity once was. His mind became free of any confusion. As the sun disappeared, he turned his head to Koujaku and smiled with half-lidded eyes. "Guess what?" He said in a low, content tone.

"What?" Koujaku replied, looking back at Noiz with an unmistakable endearment in his eyes.

"I love you." Noiz said, leaning closer to his fiance, stopping smoothly as their lips were separated by a mere centimeter of heated air.

Koujaku's cheeks turned nearly as red as his eyes as he voiced his reply. "I love you, too." 

Noiz smiled and closed the distance between them, allowing their lips to collide in a heated passion. His arms slithered around to Koujaku's back, where he held onto him for dear life, like this would be the last time he would ever make contact with him.

Koujaku's body responded by pulling Noiz in a close as he could, kissing with the passion that his words could never convey, but would always be present. 

They stayed like this, entangled in each other's arms, their lips moving at the same pace, neither competing for dominance. The sun faded completely and left the two with only remnants of the intense light shown by the fading purple on the horizon. 

Noiz was the first to pull his lips away. Unable to speak, he rested his head against Koujaku's chest and watched more stars surface through the velvety blue sky. "I wish it could always be like this." He commented softly, nuzzling against Koujaku's chest slightly.

Koujaku kissed Noiz's forehead softly with a gentle sigh. "It can be, if you want it like this." He assured him, stroking his lightly colored hair comfortingly. "I'd like it to be like this, too."

Noiz looked up at him and gently placed his hand against Koujaku's jaw. "Do you mean it?" He looked into his eyes hopefully. He'd always wanted freedom, and if he could have that forever, and have Koujaku at the same time, he couldn't have thought up a better future for himself.

"I mean it like the universe means its infinance." He placed his hand over Noiz's with a sincere grin. 

Noiz leaned up and kissed him again, trying to express his gratitude through his actions. Never before had he felt so exhilarated over another person.

Koujaku seemed to understand his expression and reciprocated it through his side of the kiss. He drew back and mumbled sweetly to Noiz. "There's one more thing i wanted to do tonight." He smiled. "Before you go home."

Noiz cocked his head to the side slightly. "What's that?" He asked softly.

Koujaku smiled and removed his hands from Noiz, then reached into his pocket, then withdrew his hand with his palm closed. "Shut your eyes." He said softly.

The blonde nodded and did as he was told, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He registered the pressure and presence of Koujaku's hands on the nape of his neck, then he heard a gentle happy sigh come from the man in front of him.

"Open up." He said softly, his smile's presence announced by his tone.

Noiz opened his eyes and looked down at his chest, where he saw what Koujaku had done. A thin silver chain was now around his neck, and placed on the chain was a black ring with a silver band around the center of it. "K-Koujaku..." He stuttered, moving his hand to the ring. 

"I just wanted you to have something to help you think of me." He said softly. "You mentioned thinking of me when you're trying to sleep, and I figured this would give you some comfort." He brushed his hand against Noiz's cheek with a shy blush. "Do you like it?"

In all truthfulness, Noiz absolutely loved it. He'd never been presented with an actual gift, other than his art supplies. "I love it. I love it so much." He replied breathlessly, clutching the ring in the palm of his hand. He looked up to Koujaku, then threw his arms around him and buried his face in his shoulder. "Thank you." He uttered, clinging to the taller man.

Koujaku collected the blond in his arms and hugged him tightly. "I'm glad you like it." He said gently into Noiz's ear. "Now I hate to say this, but I should be getting you home soon." He frowned, giving Noiz's body a gentle squeeze.

Noiz sighed. "I understand." he whispered, taking Koujaku's hand. "Are you going to drive me?" He questioned.

"Yes. I want to be the last thing you see before you sleep." He told him, beginning to bring Noiz back inside to his room.

Noiz smiled and followed him into the house, glimpsing back at the darkening blue sky.

Once outside, Noiz reluctantly climbed into the car and watched as Koujaku drove him away from his little paradise. He leaned his head against Koujaku's shoulder as they drove. Though the scenery had grown dark and nearly unrecognizable, Noiz watched it all pass by again. The hum of the engine was the only sound that could be heard. They pulled into the driveway of Noiz's residence slowly, as if even the car was reluctant to end the night.

Koujaku killed the engine and stayed in the car for a moment more, perhaps just enjoying the last bits of silence the two would have until their next meeting. "Noiz?" He asked softly.

"Yes?" Noiz replied, keeping close to Koujaku.

"Did you mean it when you said it?" His tone dipped into that of curiosity.

"Did i mean what?" the German replied in an airy, soft voice.

Koujaku sighed, feeling like an idiot for questioning him. "That you love me?"

Noiz nodded. "Yes. I would never lie to you about something like that." He turned his head and pressed his lips to Koujaku's jaw softly. "I do love you."

Koujaku tilted his head slightly and smiled. "I love you too." He replied, running his fingertips through Noiz's hair slowly. 

Noiz smiled at the slight pressure form his fingertips. "Alright. Lets go inside before someone gets suspicious." He chuckled softly, exiting the car.

The couple walked inside and up the stairs to Noiz's room. Once inside, Noiz disappeared into the bathroom and slipped on a pair of pajama bottoms and a simple black muscle shirt, leaving the necklace that Koujaku had given him around his neck. He reentered the room and rolled his eyes when he saw Koujaku laying on his bed. 

"Move over, nerd." He giggled, giving Koujaku a gentle shove as he slid into bed next to him. 

Koujaku smiled and helped place the covers over Noiz, then drew him in close and pressed their lips together.

Noiz bit playfully at Koujaku's lower lip, then smirked up at him as he pulled away. "You know, I can tuck myself in." he turned over onto his side.

Koujaku rolled his eyes. "I'm allowed to help." He smiled and kissed Noiz's forehead. "I should go, now." He said regretfully.

"Stay." Noiz beckoned sweetly, holding onto Koujaku's hand. He would never admit it, but he didn't want to be separated from Koujaku even the slightest bit. "Stay with me. Just for tonight. Please?" He nearly begged, looking up at him with a bit of a sad expression.

Koujaku frowned a bit, but then sighed and got under the covers with Noiz. "My parents are totally going to give me shit for staying the night, but i could care less right now. I don't want to leave either, so why even bother fighting with reason?" He smiled and placed his arms around Noiz.

Noiz smiled and pushed himself into Koujaku's arms with a gentle, content sigh. "Goodnight, Koujaku." He murmured sleepily, closing his eyes as he rested against his chest.

Koujaku grinned and pressed his lips against Noiz's forehead. "Goodnight, my rose." He replied softly, letting his eyelids drop tiredly over his scarlet eyes.

And just like that, the two passed out, one holding the other as if they'd disappear somewhere among the slumber. Their heat mingled together beneath the blankets, and for the first time in a while, Noiz didn't feel alone. He felt secure and happy. He just wondered if it would last, and if this would be what he could look forward to every night of his life.

God, he hoped it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so yeah, There's Mizuki. Don't worry you'll see more of him, I promise.  
> My best friend's mom passed away this week, so next week's update may be a few days delayed, possibly.  
> By the way, I have a tumblr if you would like updates on my progress. Or you could just track the tumblr tag #The Heart Of The Forgotten.  
> The song lyrics that Koujaku sings are from Boats And Birds by Gregory And The Hawk.  
> I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I'm looking forward to continuing!  
> As always, thank you for the support!


	4. Solace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((I apologize for the extremely late update, I'll explain in the end chapter notes. I hope you enjoy this chapter!))  
> **HEAVY ABUSE WARNING***

_"He's not worth the effort of raising."_

_"He'll just be a hindrance to our family with his violent tendencies."_

_"I will never love you, and neither will anyone else."_

_"You'll feel something if it kills you."_

Noiz gasped loudly and jolted awake from his sleep, tears clouding his vision as he sat up in bed. He felt two secure arms around him and began to feel threatened, he thrashed about violently. "Get off of me!" He yelled, pushing and shoving at the arms around him.

"Hey, stop it!" A deeper voice replied to Noiz's demands. Koujaku held Noiz protectively to his chest. "Calm down, It's only me!"

Noiz stopped thrashing and panted heavily looking up at Koujaku's worried face. "I-I'm... I'm sorry, oh my god..." He apologized, burying his face into Koujaku's chest. He'd completely forgotten that he'd asked him to stay the night. He wrapped his arms tightly around him and took in a deep breath. Panting softly, tears continued their descent down his face, clinging to Koujaku as if he would disappear at any moment.

"Hey, don't apologize... Nightmare, I'm assuming?" Koujaku implored, caressing his fingertips down the back of Noiz's head slowly in an attempt to calm him.

Noiz nodded and settled into Koujaku's arms with a deep sigh. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" He asked, pushing away from him just a bit so that he could examine Koujaku's body for any marks. 

The larger figure laughed softly. "No, love. You didn't hurt me." He replied, looking down at Noiz with a sweet grin. He ducked his head down and kissed the blond soulfully, tugging him back to his body as he did so.

"Mh.." the German released a soft noise against his lover's lips, accepting the kiss and reciprocating it. It was a nice scapegoat for him to avoid speaking of what his nightmare had contained.

Koujaku's teeth grazed slowly over Noiz's lower lip, then bit at it in a playful manner. His body arched slightly more against the frame of his fiance as he parted his lips in order to deepen the kiss further.

Noiz had registered the slight pressure being applied to his lower lip, and it made his body go tense, but in a good way. He followed suit of Koujaku and separated his lips without any serious reluctance. He prodded his tongue softly against his and draped his arms around the larger body of the other.

Reluctantly pulling away after a while, Koujaku sighed. "How did I get so lucky?" He mumbled, tracing his fingertips down the side of Noiz's face gently. "Look at you. You're phenomenal."

The blond shook his head. "You're not lucky. In fact, I think they'd call your situation unfortunate." He added, crossing his arms behind Koujaku's neck and reeling him in closer. "Just shut up. I want more." He whispered as he nudged his nose against the other's, a gentle purr surfacing in his throat. He pressed his lips back to Koujaku's, kissing him with a certain hunger. He couldn't recall ever feeling like this before; feeling like he could never get enough of something. Yet here he was, stealing kisses to feed his own desire. 

Koujaku obeyed Noiz's need for more affection and matched his passion easily. The serenity of the moment began to get to him, so he allowed his hands to roam freely around Noiz's sides and back, finding a sudden urge to know every inch of him. His hands finally settled at his hips after a while, and he furrowed his brow slightly as the kiss began to intensify.

Noiz had felt the pressure of Koujaku's hands on his hips, and something within him ticked. If they were to take this any farther, he was sure that Koujaku would be insistent on his clothes coming off. What would he say about the scars? What would he do? A painful image renewed in his mind as he remembered being slashed and hit by his father, cursed at and told that everything he'd become would be a monstrosity. It was a vulgar picture, forever stained in Noiz's head like a tattoo that would never ever fade for as long as he lived. 

A sigh left Noiz's lips and he pulled away slightly, then buried his head in the crook of Koujaku's neck. "I'm sorry..." He began. His mind was running at speeds unknown, and no matter how hard he tried, the thoughts of the nightmare kept resurfacing, even with Koujaku's sweet kisses distracting him.

A look of confusion crossed his features, but Koujaku just collected Noiz in his arms and held him tightly, understanding in a way. "Don't be, sweetheart. Don't be." He laid a few soft kisses to the side of his head and carded his fingers through his hair slowly as they lay in the quiet peace.

Noiz felt terrible for ending the kiss. He truly loved it, and he loved everything about the scene, but he just couldn't let himself to be loved at the moment. He was too insecure, and lacked the feeling that was needed. His chest rose and fell slowly as he inhaled Koujaku's scent, the scent that had become something of a comfort to him. His lips grazed against the side of his fiance's neck gently and another sigh surfaced his lips. "I love you..." He mumbled, trailing his lips along Koujaku's jaw slowly.

"I love you too." Koujaku smiled, then pressed his lips to the blond's forehead. "Mh. My parents are absolutely going to murder me..." He mused, holding Noiz in a sort of protective way, almost like he was a comfort object and not just some unfortunate kid with intimacy issues. 

Noiz bit his lip slightly and met Koujaku's eyes. "Maybe you should go, then... It's still early, maybe they won't notice...?" He tilted his head a bit as if to look for confirmation.

The Asian nodded reluctantly, then pressed his forehead against the smaller man's. "Alright, but for the record, I really really don't want to go." He smiled, nudging his nose against Noiz's softly.

The blond's facial features lit up a bit, a smile tugging at the corner of his previously worried lips. "And for the record, I don't want you to go either, but I'd rather that than you getting in trouble." He bestowed a gentle kiss against Koujaku's lips, then gave him a playful shove. "Now get out of here." He teased, curling into the blankets slightly. "Before I make you stay."

"Alright, alright. God, you're already starting to act like a spouse~" Koujaku smirked and kissed Noiz's forehead gently, hooking his index finger under his chin. 

Noiz closed his eyes, a content expression crossing his face. He pulled the blankets tighter around himself once the warmth of Koujaku's closeness had diminished. "Ring me later?" He asked quietly, his serpentine eyes giving his an almost desperate, longing look.

The larger man smiled slightly, then nodded. "Yeah. I will." he confirmed, making his way to the door. "Go back to sleep for a little while. It's still early." He suggested as he opened the door and began to take a step out. He turned and blew a kiss in Noiz's direction.

Noiz rolled his eyes, then turned over in his bed. "You're such a dork." He mumbled, balling up in the blankets. "Go home, idiot." He said as he drew the blankets up around his head and laid on his side, facing opposite of Koujaku. 

"Alright,  _honey_." He said in a sarcastic tone, a soft giggle following. "Goodbye, my rose." He smiled gently, exiting the room silently.

The blond blushed beneath the blankets, finding the space beside him uncomfortably empty without the presence of Koujaku next to him. His fingers wandered up to his neck, taking the small chain between his fingertips, then holding the ring in his palm and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Goodbye, my prince." He mumbled gently as he ran his thumb over the silver band in the center of the ring. As if in defeat, he released the ring, then lay his arms across the now empty space and shut his eyes,  obeying his fiance's suggestion and drifting back into a slightly less comfortable sleep.

 Running a hand through his hair, Koujaku quickly and quietly exited the house, hoping not to bee seen by anyone. As he closed the door slowly, he withdrew his keys from his pocket and hurriedly got into his car. A smile had plastered itself to his face, and he didn't care for anything but his thoughts for the moment. His head was spinning with absolute happiness, and he thought vaguely to himself that he should turn around and return to Noiz, if only just for a few more hours. Reluctantly, he continued on to his home.

As he parked his car, he noticed Mizuki was waiting for him on the steps. What could he possibly want? Koujaku had broken things off with him as soon as he'd realized how deeply he felt for Noiz, but his former partner seemed rather persistent. Koujaku drew in a deep sigh and departed from his car, taking heavy steps to the entrance where Mizuki waited.

"So, how was your night?" Mizuki asked in a dry tone, near glaring at Koujaku with a disgusted look. "Was he as good as me?"

Catching on to what he was insinuating, Koujaku furrowed his brow. "We didn't do anything more than cuddle." He replied, crossing his arms. "He didn't force himself on me like you do all the time. He's different."

Mizuki clicked his tongue irritably and leaned against one of the pillars, shooting Koujaku a bit of a snide look. "He sure as hell  _looks_ like a whore. All that metal in his face. Did you hear what that little bitch said to me when he got here yesterday?" the redhead implored.

"Frankly, I don't give a damn." the Asian replied curtly, balling his hands into fists as he looked at Mizuki with an anger embedded in his eyes. He didn't like hearing bad things about his fiance, and would defend him at all costs. "I'm sure you deserved it."

Scoffing, the other man pushed his weight from the pillar and stepped to his former lover. "Ha. Well, your little 'rose' obviously knows that it was me on the line the other day." He informed Koujaku, pressing his hand to his shoulder, forcing the taller man's body back against the adjacent pillar. "So why not give him something to threaten me some more about?" He asked in a suddenly hushed tone, fairly confident in his abilities of seducing Koujaku.

That was the last straw. Koujaku brought his hands up and smashed his palms into Mizuki's shoulders, then sailed his fist into the side of his jaw, sending him to the ground. "Listen. You're not going to ruin this for me. I'm happy now. You're my past. He, however, is my fucking future." He sternly spoke, anger and frustration lining every bit of his body. "Stay the fuck away from us. You're here to work, not satisfy your whorish needs."

Mizuki sat up slightly, dusting his chest off with a huff as he looked at Koujaku with a rather hurt expression. He wiped a dribble of blood coming from the corner of his lip as he stood silently. Tears welled in his eyes, but still not a word came. The smaller of the two adverted his gaze and reentered the house.

Now it was Koujaku's turn to fall silent. He hadn't realized how passionate he'd been about Noiz. Hearing just vague insults about him had upset him enough to punch someone he once loved in the face. He shook his head trying to dismiss the fact that it had even happened, then entered the house and stormed to his room to lock himself away in thought for a while.

Noiz awoke a few hours later to the gentle rousing of Yoshie. "Sir, I don't mean to be a bother, but the phone is for you." She spoke cheerfully.

The blond rolled over, then sighed and lifted himself from the bed. "Thank you." He spoke in a sleep-grogged voice and headed down to the phone carefully, trying to keep his balance as he walked half asleep.

He picked up the receiver and yawned. "Hello, this is Noiz." He informed the other party with a hoarse voice, running a hand through his disheveled hair.

"My, my. Don't you sound well rested." Koujaku teased on the other end of the line. 

A soft, tired chuckle escaped Noiz's throat. "You're the one who told me to go back to sleep, don't pull that shit on me now." He reminded, taking a seat on the couch with a grin. "Anyways, what's happened since you left?" He asked, tracing his fingertips idly over the gauze that still covered his wounds. He'd taken good care of them, despite his usual tendency to ignore wounds.

"Nothing really. But there's something that my parents had requested I mention to you. They wanted to know when would be good for your family to get together and plan everything out." Koujaku's voice rang cheerily through the receiver. 

Noiz stopped touching the gauze and became more alert of the conversation. "Plan? Plan wha- oh." He mumbled. He'd nearly forgotten that he was going to be married to Koujaku. He'd been so submerged in just getting to know him and actually being able to understand emotions for the first time in his life, that he'd forgotten the simple reason that he'd even been introduced to him. 

A soft sigh could be heard from the opposing end of the conversation. "I know. It slipped my mind as well." He stated, reassuring Noiz that he wasn't the only one being caught up in current emotions rather than future events.

 "Well, I could ask them if you'd like. Just give me a moment, and I can call you back. Unless of course, you think it'd be easier for them to just work this out over the phone together." He suggested, knowing that his parents had full dictation over his life and that they would most likely want to choose the time and day without Noiz's input or consent being seen as an important factor. 

 Koujaku paused, then grunted. "I suppose since this is more about them than us, it'd be a good idea for them to just speak together." He backed up Noiz's suggestion. "Anyways, I miss you." He changed the topic quickly, preferring to keep their thoughts in the positive.

Noiz sat on the couch next to the phone base and played with the ring around his neck idly. "I miss you too." He replied softly, crossing his legs. "Do you know if we get any say in what we'd like at the wedding? In terms of guests and decorations and foods and such?" He asked with a bit of a curiousness to his tone. He assumed that maybe they'd get a say, considering that money was plentiful and all that really mattered here was the familial link it would create in the end. 

"We might." Koujaku replied gently, trying to reassure Noiz as best he could.

"Good." The monotone of the blond followed up. He tilted his head back slightly and looked to the ceiling. "...Roses would be nice." He added, a slight smile starting at the corners of his lips.

Koujaku's lightened tone sounded in response, his smile prominent through his vocalization. "Really?" He asked.

Noiz gave a slight chuckle. "Yeah, really." He confirmed. Hearing Koujaku's happiness was something of a relief for Noiz. The man had made so many things in Noiz's life seem clearer, and perhaps just the slightest bit more sensible. He'd brought music and happiness into his world, and all he wanted was to do the same for him in return.

"That's good to hear." Koujaku's warm tone surfaced through the receiver again. "Well, I'm going to go so that our parents can discuss when we should meet to plan." He said reluctantly. "I love you, okay?"

Noiz sighed. "I love you more." He replied. "Goodbye for now." He shrugged slightly, absolutely not wanting to end the conversation just yet. He felt as though he could never spend enough time engulfed in his fiance's presence.

A reluctant tone repeated the gentle words of departure. "Goodbye for now." He responded, the angelic presence leaving the line in a dead state as he hung up.

The blond placed the phone back on the base, then began to step up the stairs with a certain reluctance. All he wanted was for the anticipation to stop, and for his life to just begin. He was growing tired of being locked in his room like this. After getting his first taste of freedom, it seemed that he could never get enough of it. Still, he returned to his small prison, the four walls that he scarcely was allowed to leave.

He propped himself up against the window pane and gazed out over the scene. He could see grey clouds rolling in from the corner of his view-port of the world he'd memorized. The same scene, same stance, same everything. Just as always. The same. The faded patter of rain could be heard just slightly above the wind that threatened against the tree leaves. The green fragments covering the large oak swayed in a way that wasn't so much violent, but more of an elegant stature. Like gentle ripples and waves that soon jutted as they were acquainted with the oncoming rain, the soft charcoal clouds releasing the tears at a consistent rate as they covered the fiery sun's persistent rays.

As Noiz watched the change, he couldn't help but make a small, selfish smile for himself. Rain had always been one of his comforts. It reminded him of himself, the way that people seemed to want to avoid it, and saw it as something that could be terrible. Pressing a hand to his cheek as he leaned against the pane, the German reached again for his ring with his other hand. He ran his thumb over it slowly, his serpentine gaze flicking over the silver and black metal of it. "...A rose, huh?" He murmured to himself, rolling his mind over the name that Koujaku had given him. He'd never seen himself as anything more than just an unfortunate disaster. 

A sudden knock at the door roused Noiz from his thoughts. He turned and called out a soft "Come in.", then returned his gaze to the rain.

"So, I was told to inform you that you and your parents will be going into town tomorrow." Yoshie's voice rang through the room, rather intrusively.

Noiz's ears perked at this, then turned slightly. "Town...?" He implored, meeting the chocolate gaze of his maid. "...Like... The city?"

She nodded. "Yes. You're meeting your fiance and his family for lunch at an elegant little place in Manhattan. To plan your wedding." Her eager eyes seemed to radiate a sort of light that flowed with her words. 

Noiz raised a brow, intrigued by thoughts of the city he'd heard so much about. "Oh. Alright." He tried not to sound too enthusiastic, though he was extremely excited to see even more of the world that was never available to him. The city. The place that he'd been told was extravagant and celebrated. It was said to be full of life and everything that anyone could want. 

Yoshie smiled. "You've never been there. And now, you'll be able to. How does it feel?" She asked, coming over to Noiz's side and sitting at one of the chairs by the small table, her eyes beaming their constant happiness.

The blond raked his fingers through his hair, then cracked a small smile. "Pretty damn good." He said, watching the rain come down harder now. "So... He's coming, too..?" He asked, already knowing the answer, but just wanting the satisfaction of hearing confirmation that he'd be seeing Koujaku again soon.

"Of course." She confirmed in a bouncy tone, seemingly lovestruck over the two of them. "It's his wedding too, after all." She chuckled.

Noiz nodded, a slight blush crossing his cheeks. He could see it now, the two of them standing at the altar, just about to become forever bound to each other. Come to think of it, in a way, Noiz already felt forever bound to him. The way his body went into a complete frenzy whenever the simple mention of his name was made, it was obvious who he belonged to. 

"You'd look dashing in a tuxedo, Sir." Yoshie complimented, her friendly face confirming that she meant what she said. She folded her hands in her lap and gazed at Noiz, then sighed deeply. "Its... Its astounding to me... Honestly..." She began, moving her gaze to her feet.

Noiz turned his head slightly. "What is?" He asked, meeting her eyes again.

Yoshie's friendly smile had been replaced with one of fondness. "You've grown up to be such a gorgeous young man. It's hard to believe that I've been overseeing you for this long... And you're getting married soon... I must be getting old." She jested, laughing kindly.

The blond joined her laughter. It was true that Yoshie had been taking care of him for years. He felt closer to her than he did his parents, and she was honestly more of a mother figure to him than his actual parents had ever been. He wondered if she'd be invited to the wedding. Noiz would have loved to have her in attendance. "You're not getting old, time is just passing." He reassured. "...Thank you, Yoshie..." 

"For what, Sir?" she asked, standing from the chair. 

"For being the only figure in my life." He stated, standing and looking to her with a slight smile. 

Yoshie waved her hand dismissively, chuckling and pressing a hand to her chest. "I'm flattered, but it's been a pleasure." She laughed softly, then sighed and looked up to the taller man. "Soon, I won't be able to do this anymore... You'll be moving out, off with your husband." She reminded.

He shrugged. "I'll still come to visit." He promised.

At this, Yoshie hugged Noiz and patted his back. "Alright, alright, don't worry about coming to see little old me too much, though. You'll have new responsibilities and more to do once you move out." She released Noiz, then smiled. "You'll make a great husband."

Noiz blushed at the statement. "You think so?"

"Oh sweetheart, I know so." She confirmed, nodding as she turned to the door. "I have to get back to work now, but we'll chat later." She promised. 

Noiz nodded and stood at the window as she went to the door. "Alright."

She stopped abruptly and turned to him. "And no more of those cuts. Alright?" She said with a slightly worried look.

The blond nodded. "Yes, Yoshie."

She beamed, then left the room with a spring in her step.

As she left, Noiz sighed and let himself fall against his mattress. The day so far had been short, but he had no idea what to do, like most days. He pulled himself up onto his bed completely and stared at the ceiling blankly. He wanted to talk to Koujaku. He wanted to see him, hold him, kiss him, everything and anything. There seemed to be this invisible barrier between the two of them, this immense distance that Noiz just wanted to be non-existent. 

Koujaku. Such a brilliant feeling coursed his veins when that name was spoken. His fingers, yet again, found their way to the ring. His only prized possession. He released a sigh of relief as he felt the cool surface. 

The door slammed, followed by booming footsteps. "Up. Now." The hoarse voice demanded, anger prominent in the tone. 

Noiz roused from his peace and looked up to his father. "Vaati, wh-"

"I said get up." His demanding voice cut off Noiz's words. The man's eyes filled with anger, his fists clenched at his sides as he ordered his son out of bed.

The intimidated man quickly stood and moved to his father, looking up to him with wide, expectant eyes. "D-Did I do somethi-"

A firm fist crashed against Noiz's cheek, sending his fair skinned face into the metal frame of his bed, then to the floor. Confused, Noiz lay there silently, registering only pressure. He knew better than to get up at this point. His lime eyes met his father's with a look of absolute terror fixated to them.

The burly figure huffed loudly, then broke out in a shout. "You let your fiance stay here last night without my permission? Are you insane? What if you were to hurt him?" He glared down at the crumbled silhouette ragefully, his strong posture speaking out his emotion.

Noiz curled up slightly, knowing what came after the yelling. "I-I didn't want him to le-leave, Vaati..... I'm s-s-sorry........." His horrified expression worsened at the rage in his father's eyes. He pulled his arms over his head and sighed deeply.

His father grabbed him by the hair and pulled him into a kneeling position, ridding the shirt from his body, revealing the scar littered skin of varying hues. Shades of purple and pink being more constant that the pale, natural skin. 

Noiz knew from this point on, his father would be silent or insulting towards him. He looked blankly at the floor, his expression diminishing and placed his hands on the floor in front of him, succumbing to what he knew would follow. 

The monster of a man removed the whip from his suit coat and uncoiled it, shaking his head as he looked at the scars he'd inflicted on his fragile son. "...You'll feel something..." He began, raising the whip as his eyes filled with pure rage, "...If it  _kills you..."_ He finished, snapping the whip down strengthfully against his son's back.

Noiz's body jutted forward slightly with the whip's first hit, but he still felt nothing. His heavy eyes watched the floor blankly as the next hit came, then another, and another, and another. He leaned forward in an act of submission, saying nothing. Eighteen long years in this man's control. Eighteen years of hell and numbness. Eighteen years Noiz wanted to forget. 

Frustratedly, Noiz's father released an angered growl and shoved his foot against the fresh wounds, once pink, then flooded red with the blood of innocence staining the previously scarred surface. He kicked the limp body forward, sending his son's forehead to press against the wall.

The blond still felt nothing. Discomforted by the new position he was sent into, He let his eyes move to the ring dangling from his neck. He watched it shine and reflect as it jutted with the whip's beating against his back. "K-koujaku..." Noiz whispered inaudibly to himself as a comforted smile met his lips. Though his father persisted on, Noiz tumbled into blackness, his body unable to handle consciousness with the blood loss, and all he heard was the consistent rain.

Inside of his head, Noiz found solace. Dark, pure solace. An image of the ring, twirling on its chain, spinning slowly was ever present in his unconscious state. His comfort. His one place where he was free from his hell-like life. The one place where he was free to think of Koujaku. 

Koujaku. All that mattered was him. He was his reason. He was his sun. His sky. His rain, his absolute world. Everything revolved around him. Even the last thought in Noiz's mind was Koujaku, as the fragile man re-acquainted himself with the darkness of his knockout, unsure when he'd wake up. But then again, why did he care at all?

This was solace. This was everything he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so, in this past month, I've gone through a breakup, two deaths, home renovations, a new rp blog being put on my agenda, writers block, and extreme depression. I'm truly sorry for the late update. I think the whole weekly update thing wont work for me at the moment, but I will update more frequently than this. I appreciate those of you continuing to follow this fic, I intend on working my hardest at it.  
> Also, Im going to be putting out a Soviet Commander Mink fanfic, soon, so keep your eyes out for it!
> 
> I also have two tumblr blogs~  
> My personal blog: http://the-communist-party.tumblr.com/  
> New Trip roleplay blog: http://that-masculine-devil.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. A First Time For Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up from his knockout, Noiz finally gets to see the city up close and personal when he goes with Koujaku to plan their wedding.

Darkness faded slowly back into coherent light as Noiz left his solace for reality once more. His neon eyes opened the tiniest bit, viewing the real world once again. This brought on a feelings of both reluctance and fear. He wanted to stay in the dark for a while more and sort out his mind, feel weightless and free. As he scanned the room, he realized that somehow he was placed in his bed, laying on his stomach. The blankets were tucked around his body, and from the looks of it, someone had been taking care of him since he'd slipped into his knockout. 

But this was honestly no surprise to Noiz. Yoshie usually would take care of him, dressing his wounds and such after his father had one of his episodes. It was another reason why he enjoyed her this much. She was the only one who honestly gave a damn when he was injured. Turning his head slightly, he began to rise form the bed, searching for Yoshie within the room.

"Hey, stay still. I'm not done yet." A familiar voice chimed, but the voice didn't belong to Yoshie. In fact, this voice was much deeper and sounded more angelic. It was a voice that Noiz had craved in his ears since he'd met it's owner. Koujaku.

Now  _this_ was a surprise. Noiz jolted, eyes going wide when he heard the voice. "Y-you... What are you doing here? He's just going to yell more now, and I'm going to- oh my god..." he shook his head, sighing deeply.

"Relax, relax." Koujaku said, placing another strip of gauze over Noiz's wounds. They looked rather disgusting, shreds of flesh remained, and blood pooled in each stripe that was against Noiz's back. A deep sigh escaped Koujaku's slightly parted lips. "Why didn't you tell me....? I could have gotten you out of here..." He mumbled, furrowing his brow slightly in frustration and slight anger.

The blond sighed, relaxing his body and laying his head back on his pillow. "I didn't want you to worry." He said softly, his eyes half lidded. "And plus, I can't feel it anyway..." He continued, tracing his fingertip over the pattern of his sheets idly as Koujaku continued to patch up his injuries.

Koujaku huffed, securing the last strip and then setting himself down on the bed with his back hunched slightly. "I've got half a mind to shove a knife through that fat bastard's throat... Who does he think he is, treating you like this?" Koujaku spoke in an angry tone, just above a whisper. 

Noiz sat up, then slid next to Koujaku and wrapped his arms around one of his. "Hey... Calm down a little..." He spoke softly, placing a small kiss on his cheek. "I'm okay, see?" Noiz continued, bringing one of his hands to Koujaku's and giving it a gentle squeeze. He looked up at the man, then sighed deeply.

The taller man's expression seemed to soften a bit once Noiz began to comfort him, though a dark look was still on his face. "I could just kill him, you know... You'd be safe..." He murmured, caressing the back of Noiz's hand with his thumb.

"Kiss me?" Noiz blurted out in a serious attempt to calm his fiance. He met Koujaku's eyes with a worried expression filling his own.

Something in Koujaku's mind clicked when he saw that Noiz was worried. He seemed to take on a lighter expression after that. He nodded softly, then leaned down and pressed his lips against his with a gentle sigh.

Noiz kissed back eagerly, not realizing how much he'd missed his kisses until he was actually receiving one again. His lips moved in time with Koujaku's as he moved his arms around his neck.

After a while, Koujaku pulled away slightly, a gentle smile on his lips. "Are you feeling better?" He asked, slowly carding his fingers through Noiz's hair. 

The blond nodded, then sighed. "So... are you allowed to be here right now, or did you sneak in...?" He implored, rather worried for his own well being at this point. He knew that his father wouldn't show mercy just because he'd recently been beaten, and he wouldn't hesitate to make new marks on his marred body.

"Your maid called me and asked me to come. To surprise you when you woke up. She made up an excuse for me to come." He said softly, his eyes never leaving Noiz's. "I'm going to drive you into the city today. She told your father that it'd be a good bonding experience for the two of us."

The city? Why on earth would they be going to the city? Oh... That's right, they were meeting to plan the wedding today. Noiz guessed that being knocked out had fogged his memory slightly. "Oh. That's great." He smiled. It would be his first time seeing the city, and he couldn't imagine his first time being any better than if he was with Koujaku. "So, I guess I should get dressed, then." He stated, reluctantly removing his arms from Koujaku's neck.

Koujaku locked his hands on Noiz's hips. "Are you sure you can do it? Don't push yourself..." He spoke gently, with a tone of worry hidden behind his voice.

Noiz smiled a bit, rather amazed that Koujaku was being so cautious with him. He'd never had someone worry this much about him. "I'll be okay." He said, pressing his hands against Koujaku's chest for a second. "You can help me button my shirt if you want." He offered, a small smirk on his lips as he rose from the bed and began to hobble to his closet. 

Regardless of how painless he was, the blood loss and injuries still took a toll on him. It made him weaker, slightly disoriented, and rather dizzy. Noiz opened his closet door, fishing around in the racks for the clothes he wanted to wear. He selected a light grey shirt and a simple pair of black slacks. Carelessly, he removed his pants from the previous day, then slid into his new ones. "Woah-" He mumbled, tripping as he was pulling on his pants.

Koujaku immediately caught him, his arms steadying the blond. A small smirk was on his lips as he wrapped his arms around Noiz from behind, then helped him pull his pants on the rest of the way. His hands buttoned and zipped his pants, then he pressed a soft kiss to the side of Noiz's head. "Be more careful, clumsy." He said softly.

A soft blush found its way across Noiz's cheeks as he watched Koujaku's hands, rather flustered over the way that Koujaku's hands seemed to linger there a bit longer than necessary. Noiz had never been intimate with anyone, but just thinking about Koujaku in that way made his mind swim.

Noiz hadn't given it much thought honestly, but now that his mind was visiting the topic, he allowed it to go there. Well, now that Koujaku had seen his scars, he supposed that he should have nothing to be nervous about, but that didn't clear his anxiety about his inability to feel. Would Koujaku be upset if he didn't react properly, or would he just find Noiz undesirable overall because of it? He supposed that it was a topic they'd have to discuss eventually. He just hoped that it wouldn't be a huge issue...

"Th-thank you..." Noiz mumbled, a small smile on his pale lips. He pulled his shirt onto his body, then, as promised, allowed Koujaku to button it.

It seemed that his fingers were hesitant, brushing against his bare chest whenever they seemed to have the opportunity. The taller man pressed a small kiss to Noiz's jaw as he fastened the last button. "Hey, I've got an idea." Koujaku said softly, turning to Noiz's closet with a determined, yet happy expression.

"Whats that?" Noiz asked, moving to his side and peeking over Koujaku's shoulder to see what he was doing. 

A small smirk took Koujaku's poised lips as he found what he'd been looking for. He turned to face Noiz, then draped a red tie around his collar and smiled. "Wear this for me?" He asked, looking at Noiz for approval.

Noiz smiled, then nodded. "Sure." He said, rather flattered that Koujaku would want him to sport what seemed to be his favorite color. 

Koujaku's nimble fingers formed the knot of Noiz's tie, seeming to take extra care to make the knot straight and even. "There. It's perfect." He mused, running his fingertips over the tie with a mesmerized look. "I think the color suits you." he continued, looking back into the fluorescent green of Noiz's irises.

"Be sure to write that down when we start planning." the blond joked. He stepped away from Koujaku and tugged on his dress shoes, then pulled his black suit coat over his shirt. He carefully tucked the necklace and ring that Koujaku had given him into his shirt, then took the Asian's hand with a smile. "Shall we?"

Koujaku smiled and grasped his hand firmly, then lead him out of the room. "We shall." He said in return, taking Noiz down the stairs with a cautious pace in order to make sure he was okay.

 Looking around at the scenery of the mostly unfamiliar house, Noiz frowned. "Where is everyone?" He pondered, looking to Koujaku for an answer.

"In the city. They wanted to discuss a few things alone before we came in." Koujaku said reassuringly, giving Noiz's hand a soft squeeze as the pair continued out to the car. "The original plan was for the two of us to go for a bit of a walk and explore the city, but you were in no shape to be dragged out of bed until I patched you up." He continued, taking on a gentler tone as he opened the door for Noiz and walked around to his own,, setting himself in the driver's seat.

Rather upset that he wasn't following the previously made plan, Noiz shook his head. "You should have woken me. I'm perfectly fine." He lied, looking to his fiance as the car was started up.

A soft giggle escaped Koujaku. "Do you really think I would have done that?" He asked, beginning to drive down the road at a rather edgy speed. "I could care less what they want, your health and well-being is much more important to me than their plans." 

Noiz sighed softly, then nodded and leaned against the window, watching the scenery rush past them as they drove. He saw that there was no point in arguing something that'd already happened, so instead he just kept silent. He seemed to be good at doing that. Voicing his opinion always seemed to bring on unwanted trouble, and the last thing he wanted was to give Koujaku a reason to hate him. He was, in essence, one of the only humans that actually liked to be around him.

The scenery began to morph from trees and occasional mansions into close-knit buildings with little to no nature worked into the picture. Noiz could see people walking along the streets, the variety of life becoming hard to ignore. Cars, advertisements, lights, people, buildings,  _life._ This is what life looked like. This was what he was missing out on, what he'd never been able to see up close. The scenes that he'd only seen in pictures now flooded into one large painting right before his eyes, and it was every bit of extraordinary that Noiz had hoped for.

The pit of his stomach tightened and his breath caught in his throat, his pale hands trembling. Was this excitement? He didn't know, but Noiz hated the feeling. He gulped hard, his breathing becoming rushed. This couldn't be excitement. No, this was something he'd felt before. The feeling he'd had many times when he was waiting for his father to come in and beat him. This was anxiousness. He couldn't take in all of the new things surrounding him. He turned to Koujaku, his eyes wide and brimming with tears.

Koujaku parked the car and looked to Noiz with a warm expression, which faded into a worried one once he saw how terrified the blond looked. "Noiz..." He said with a steady tone, his eyes going wide with panic. He killed the engine, then took his fiance's hands and looked at him. "Noiz, look at me..." He said, his tone slightly shaking. 

By the time Koujaku was trying to calm him, Noiz was already beginning to withdraw into himself, trying to create a numb facade as he did so well towards everything. He found himself unable to look at Koujaku, rather terrified of the drastic change of environment. Then again, it was excusable seeing as he'd been locked away for so long. He was jerked out of his attempts when he felt a firm hand on his jaw, creating a whole new fear. Would Koujaku hit him if he didn't listen? He looked up into the red hues with an even more frightened expression.

The larger man had grabbed Noiz's jaw completely to just get his attention. He had no intention of hitting him, and took a gentler grip once he'd captured the attention of the other. "Listen to me, you're going to be okay. I'm right here. Try to shut it all out, alright? I'm not going to leave your side." He promised, pressing a gentle kiss to Noiz's lips.

Noiz's lips trembled for a moment, but relaxed as he let his gentle words sink in. He pulled in a deep breath, allowing his breathing to steady.

Koujaku pulled away first, then placed his hands on Noiz's shoulders with a small smile. "Ready to go in?" He asked.

The German sighed, then nodded, knowing that he had to try and do this for Koujaku. He took his hand and exited the car through Koujaku's door, then began walking along the crowded sidewalk with his fiance. He walked close to him, trying not to touch other people. 

As the two entered the restaurant, Noiz's anxiety calmed itself slightly. The environment was beautiful and elegant, much like his home, and it made it easier to create the facade of being there. The room was brightly lit, pillars and marble tiles with a large mural on the ceiling, like the one in his dining room. He smiled slightly at it, reminiscing a bit as he viewed it. 

A waiter came and retrieved the pair from the doorway, escorting them to a table near the back of the establishment. Noiz trailed behind Koujaku, clasping his hand tightly as they made their way through the maze of tables and people. The table they were brought to was rather secluded from the others. This made Noiz feel a bit better. The waiter pulled out the chairs for the two.

Noiz and Koujaku sat down next to each other at the table, both of their hands still in one another's. Koujaku was the first one to speak up.

"I hope we came at an alright time?" the taller of the two asked, looking to his parents for confirmation.

Koujaku's mother nodded, smiling over at Noiz's parents. "We've discussed our personal matters already. Your timing is perfect." She said cheerily.

Noiz's mother cleared her throat, then grinned and took a small notepad from her purse. "Now, as for planning the wedding, I'd like to write it all down." She stated with her thick accent, pulling a pen from her husband's pocket.

"Ah, excellent idea." Koujaku said with a smile. "Organization is key in planning." He said, his demeanor very charismatic and hospitable.

Noiz couldn't help but wonder how he did it. Koujaku always acted so collected and natural in these situations, it was a marvel. This was only the second time that Noiz had been involved in a group of people other than his parents in his entire life, and he was racking his brain for the things he'd studied before his first meeting with Koujaku. He remembered that he was to smile, nod, act polite... what else was there? Oh yes, agree with others, even if you believe something else entirely. It all seemed so stiff and formal, and didn't quite suit Noiz, though he decided he should say something; anything at this point. Silence was rude, he remembered.

"I agree." Noiz stuttered out, smiling slightly. Damn, he hoped it went unnoticed. It seemed rather awkward to agree with something like that.

"So," Noiz's father began, folding his hands and speaking in a pleasant tone that Noiz had never heard, "Where, first of all, should this ceremony be held?"

Koujaku looked to his fiance with a soft smile. "I don't mind where it is," it seemed as though he was addressing Noiz personally instead of the group, "As long as I'm married to him at the end of the day."

Koujaku's mother giggled sweetly, looking upon the two with a glowing face, while his father smiled proudly at his son.

Noiz's heart fluttered in his chest, and a smile was summoned to his lips. "W-well, I couldn't agree more..." the blond said, giving his fiance's hand a gentle squeeze, "But you know, I absolutely fell in love with that charming little gazebo in your garden..." Noiz spoke quietly, just loud enough for the table to hear.

Koujaku grinned, his eyes saying what his lips couldn't as he gazed at Noiz. They said that they couldn't adore him more, that he was the absolute center of his world and that he was being plunged deeper and deeper into love with every single word that parted from his beloved's lips. "The gazebo, hm?" his words caressed the air between them gently, "I think I like that idea."

"Gazebo?" Noiz's mother piped, a confused expression coming over her rough yet elegant features.

Koujaku's mother nodded with an enthusiastic smile. "It's in the center of our garden. Your son is right, it's rather charming."

"And there's a koi pond and everything." Koujaku's father added, a humble smile on his lips.

"It's almost like magic there." Noiz mused, remembering the scene and all of the emotions he'd had accompanying him during that day. He'd felt a range of emotions in that place. Anger, love, passion of all sorts, confusion and liberation. Once all of the symbolism was added into the factors, the gazebo seemed like the absolute perfect place for the two of them to be married.

Koujaku pressed a small kiss to the back of his fiance's hand, still firmly held in his. "It was magic with you there." He said softly.

Noiz's father chuckled rather arrogantly, "You could be married somewhere much more extravagant than that." He boasted, "And plus, I'm sure that your fiance's parents think that's a terrible idea. Their garden being used for the ceremony? God, why would they want that many people there?"

Koujaku's father waved his hand dismissively, "If it makes the boys happy, I say let them get married there." he said, turning to his wife with a small smile. "I'm sure my wife would agree. She loves the gazebo, and our garden is nearly twice the size of yours, so space isn't an issue."

Noiz's father looked rather upset by the comment about his garden being smaller than theirs, but dismissed it and turned to his wife, "Write it down." He nearly demanded, his anger becoming prominent.

Noiz had caught onto the tone that his father's voice had taken and froze up with fear. It was the tone he was all too familiar with, and he was sure he'd catch some sort of punishment for suggesting the gazebo in the first place. Regardless, he squeezed Koujaku's hand with a slight smile, trying to hide his fear. Koujaku looked absolutely thrilled over the idea, and Noiz was nearly certain that he'd want to get a picture of the two of them on the veranda after they'd been married.

After that, the conversation had become a jumble of ideas being thrown around regarding the date, colors, what would be served, who would be invited, things like that. Koujaku had made sure to voice how strongly he felt that red should be a largely incorporated color, and that he'd like roses in Noiz's bouquet, but Noiz found himself rather silent throughout the entirety of the conversation, except for the occasional nod or side note. He found that he had no preference or opinion about the wedding. He honestly just wanted it to come already so that he could spend all of the time that he wanted with Koujaku, and so that he could move out of his home finally.

"So as far as dates, we could probably have everything together by the sixth of May." Noiz's mother said, looking to the rest of the party with a confident expression.

Noiz knitted his brow, then spoke softly, "Today's the twenty seventh of April. Are you sure that'll be long enough to get everything together and such?" 

Koujaku's father nodded, "There's not much to do. We just need to send out invitations, have you two fitted for your tuxedos, things like that." He said with a smile.

"That sounds great to me. A nice spring wedding." Koujaku said softly, giving Noiz's hand another gentle squeeze. "So, are we done planning for now?" Koujaku asked politely.

Noiz's father peered around the table, receiving nods from the other three parents. "I suppose so." He said.

Smiling, Koujaku continued. "See, I was wondering if I could steal Noiz away for the day. It's so nice out and it's still early, I'd love to spend some more time with him. Would that be alright with you?" He implored.

Noiz's parents shared a bit of a questioning look with one another, which was interrupted by the coo of Koujaku's mother. "Oh, isn't it splendid? They're getting along so nicely. And to think you two thought that they'd never come to love one another. And now look, they're nearly inseparable." The small woman folded her hands and beamed at the two. "It reminds me of when I met my husband. It's so lovely to see their relationship progress." She sighed sweetly, then looked to her husband.

At hearing this comment, the two Germans softened their expression and nodded nearly simultaneously. Noiz's father spoke in a low tone, looking to Noiz. "Alright, I suppose its okay." He replied, his fake grin showing proudly on his features. He leaned close to Noiz, then.

A shiver filled Noiz as he felt his father's breath against his ear, his gruff tone filling his head once again. 

"You know the rules." His father whispered, his eyes drilling into Noiz's atmosphere intrusively.

"Yes." Noiz replied quietly. 

"Wait, wait, wait." Koujaku's father interrupted, then glanced at everyone at the table. "I think we should tell them now." He stated.

Koujaku's mother smiled endearingly. "We've arranged for the two of you to stay at a hotel in Manhattan together for three days. We believe that it would be a perfect opportunity to bond and such." She chimed, leaning her chin against her hands and smiling up at the boys.

Noiz raised a brow, a bit confused. Holy shit. His parents had agreed to that? He wondered what the hell he'd done to deserve being allowed out of the house, and for three days? This had to be a dream, there was no other explanation. "R-Really?" Noiz blurted out, his bright eyes filled with excitement. "When?" He asked, rather antsy about the whole ordeal. "

Noiz's father interrupted at that, speaking in a rather low tone. "You're leaving on the twenty ninth."

Noiz smiled slightly and clasped Koujaku's hand tightly. "That's just two days from now." He said with a voice filled with hope and wonder. He'd never been out of the house for extended amounts of time. Hell, he'd never even slept in a different bed since he'd moved to New York. And he was being allowed to do all of this with Koujaku? He couldn't think of anything more desirable, aside from being able to feel.

Adding to the conversation, Koujaku let out a soft chuckle. "That's great, thank you so much. I'm really looking forward to it." He said honestly, glancing over at Noiz with a gentle smile on his lips. It was evident that Noiz being happy was something he loved to behold.

"As am I." Noiz added, meeting Koujaku's eyes briefly and giving him a subtle wink, which earned him a blush in return.

Noiz's mother cleared her throat, then darted her glare at the two. "You're dismissed." She said with an edge in her tone.

Excitedly, Koujaku stood from the table, bringing Noiz with him. "Of course, thank you, Ma'am. Goodbye, everyone." He said in his charming tone, waving to the party. Noiz did the same as he was dragged off.

Once they were at a safe distance from the table, Noiz looked to Koujaku and spoke to him as they walked. "A hotel, hm? What are they like?" He implored curiously, running his thumb over the back of Koujaku's hand idly as they made their way back to the car.

Koujaku grinned a bit, then responded. "It's just renting a room for a night or so. It's nice, rather relaxing if I do say so myself."

The blond nodded, then slid into the car. "I see. What did you want to do today? Anything specific?" He asked, feeling as if he was too curious for his own good with all of these questions.

A smirk crawled its way onto Koujaku's lips as he started the car.  "Well, I think I'd like to make out with a hot blond in Central Park, or by the Statue of Liberty... or anywhere, really.." He said smoothly, shooting a seductive glare in Noiz's direction, summoning a blush to his cheeks.

Noiz chewed at the inside of his cheek, then intertwined his fingers with Koujaku's and gave him a half lidded gaze. "How about you find a quiet place to park and let me give you what you want, then?" He spoke in a sweet tone, lined with desire and perhaps a bit of lust.

Now it was Koujaku's turn to blush. With his cheeks redder than hell, he quickly turned the car in a different direction, seemingly determined to get to his destination. Within the next minute or so, he pulled into a rather empty parking lot surrounded by large buildings and killed the engine. "Good enough for you?" He asked in his sultry velvet voice.

"Perfect." Noiz replied, moving over the seat and straddling Koujaku with a smirk as he leaned down and firmly pressed his lips against his, closing his eyes. Noiz wasn't exactly sure what had come over him, but he knew that he didn't plan on stopping his boldness any time soon.

In reply to Noiz straddling him, Koujaku placed his hands on the other's hips and kissed back with a vigorous passion, wriggling his tongue past the barrier of Noiz's lips with ease.

Noiz gasped gently when he felt Koujaku's tongue against his, then began to move his own along the sides and bottom of his lover's tongue with a gentle purr surfacing in the back of his throat. He moved his hips forward against Koujaku's and moved his fingers until he found his hair tie, then gently removed it from his hair. Once it was out of the way, Noiz moved his fingertips through the other's long hair, finding himself wishing that he could feel again. 

Seemingly intrigued by the sudden actions, Koujaku let out a gentle groan and allowed his hands to wander up the German's shirt curiously, feeling his way along the edges of his body, every scar earning a soft caress as he did so. Every moment that the kiss went on, Koujaku found himself craving more and more of his fiance. He wanted him in a way that seemed deeper than the normal want, more of a need at this point. He softly grazed his teeth along Noiz's tongue, testing for a reaction of some sort.

The feeling of his teeth made Noiz jump slightly, unaccustomed to that feeling. "K-Koujaku..." He whispered through the kiss, pressing his slender body closer to the muscular composure of his fiance, feeling rather desperate. In reply to the small bites, Noiz pressed his nails against Koujaku's scalp gently as he moved his hips needily against his, becoming more and more enticed as the kiss continued. He bit back at Koujaku's tongue, just a small nip which earned him a soft groan.

Koujaku felt shivers run down his spine as Noiz whispered his name, and could also feel his member beginning to stir to life in his pants. He just couldn't help it, Noiz was so damn hot, especially when he took control like this. He moved his hips back against Noiz's, nearly grinding them together. He suckled at the other's tongue with a soft moan, locking his hands to his hips out of the heaviness of the moment.

A strange feeling pooled in the pit of Noiz's stomach, one he'd rarely felt before. He parted their lips slightly, then chewed at Koujaku's lower lip cautiously, looking up at his lover through his lashes as he did so. The soft moans emitting from Koujaku did nothing but urge on the feeling that Noiz had. He peered down and smirked a bit when he saw that they both were beginning to get hard.

As Noiz's teeth toyed around with his lower lip, Koujaku could feel his erection grinding against his, which only succeeded in making his dick harder. He brought one of his hands away from Noiz's hips and placed it on his fiance's erection, rubbing his hand against it rather forcefully. He remembered that Noiz said he couldn't feel, so perhaps some force would do the trick.

Noiz had barely picked up on the sensation, but it was still there. He let out a stiffened moan, then unlatched his teeth from Koujaku's lip and huffed with a deep blush. "I-I'm sorry..." He spoke airily, opening his eyes slightly to see Koujaku's intense red hues. "God, that feels good..." He said softly, never had been touched by someone else there. Even though it was a subtle feeling, it still felt incredible to him.

Koujaku bit at his own lip slightly, then pecked Noiz's lips lovingly. "Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong." He said, running a hand through Noiz's hair slowly. "I should have asked first... Can I touch you?" He implored quietly, his blush deepening.

Noiz nodded and tilted his head slightly. "C-can I touch you too?" He asked, rather awkward in this sort of situation.

The Asian smirked slightly. "I'd love if you would~" His seductive chime came out smooth and loving.

Noiz bit his lips slightly then moved his hands to unbutton Koujaku's pants, trying his best to keep his hands from shaking. He was extremely nervous, as if his body language didn't make that obvious.

Koujaku looked up to his lover, then hooked his finger under his chin and pulled him in for another gentle kiss, followed by a serene whisper. "We can stop if you want. I wont force you to do this." 

Noiz leaned into the kiss slightly, finding comfort and strength as his lips met again with Koujaku's. At his soft words, Noiz's hands stopped shaking and his nervousness diminished a bit. Koujaku was giving him an option, something he rarely had. For some reason, having an option brought him comfort. He met Koujaku's eyes and blushed a bit deeper, then spoke gently. "No, I don't want to stop. This is what I want." He bit at the inside of his cheek slightly, then pressed his hand against his fiance's cock, only covered by the thin fabric of his boxers now. He gave a slight smirk. "And it's pretty obvious that you want it too."

Koujaku pressed his teeth against his lower lip as he felt Noiz's hand against his throbbing need. "Y-yeah, I do~" He chimed, massaging his palm lovingly against Noiz's clothed erection before he unbuttoned his pants.

The intimacy of the moment was impeccable to Noiz, something completely new to him. It was an entirely new field, and he just hoped that he'd do alright. "Then let me take care of you~" He looped his fingers around the elastic of Koujaku's boxers, then tugged it down until his cock was in his view. Trying to act on instinct, Noiz wrapped his hand around the base of it and gave it a few light strokes, earning a soft, nearly inaudible groan from the man. 

Eager to return the favor, Koujaku tugged down Noiz's boxers and grasped his length with a slight smirk, his cheeks tinted a deep red as he began to bring his hand up and down his dick at an even pace.

Noiz was ashamed to admit that he could barely feel it, but he supposed that he'd build up eventually. He pressed his hips into Koujaku's, grinding their cocks against one another with a gentle moan. The friction brought a wave of pleasure over him, and as a reaction, he tightened his grip on Koujaku's length and began to pump his hand at a quicker pace.

Koujaku seemed to like the feeling of their members pressed against each other, seeing as his immediate reaction was to force his hips back against Noiz's, as if he was craving the pressure. "N-Noiz... Ah..." the angelic moan spilled off of his lips with ecstasy merged into the tone. Seeming to get the message, he grasped tighter with a soft huff, picking up the pace of his hand. His eyes, glazed with pleasure, met Noiz's once more as he brought his unoccupied hand to Noiz's tie and tugged it off, then worked a few of the buttons undone and leaned forward, laying a series of loving, messy kisses to his pale and slightly scarred chest.

Noiz threaded his fingertips into Koujaku's hair and let out a needy moan as he ground into the other again. He bit his lip, then decided to throw his shame to the side. "Koujaku... U-use your nails... Please..." He pleaded desperately, pressing his fingertips against his cock as he stroked his lover faster.

Koujaku didn't question Noiz's request, but complied quickly. He arched his fingers and began to dig his nails into the sides of Noiz's cock as he stroked. He peered up to Noiz with an expression that spoke how explosive his pleasure was at the moment. "Y-You're so fucking good at this..." He managed out within a strew of moans.

Once he felt the nails against his dick, Noiz let out a rather loud moan and bucked his hips forward slightly. "A-ah... Y-you are too... God d-damn..." He stuttered out, burying his face in the crook of Koujaku's neck and giving the skin there a soft bite while continuing his ministrations.

Koujaku could feel himself nearing his edge already, the combination of Noiz's hand and his grinding were nearly too much to handle. As he felt Noiz's teeth sinking into his neck, he gasped and knew that he was done for. "N-Noiz, I- damn it!" He nearly shouted as a small trickle of blood left his nose.

Startled by the sudden yell, Noiz jolted and stopped his strokes, thinking that he'd done something wrong. His heavy breathing became much more noticeable for a moment. He removed his lips from Koujaku's neck, then looked to him with a worried expression. "Are you alrigh- Oh my god, did I do that?" He asked, finally seeing the blood coming from his nose.

A deeper blush surfaced Koujaku's cheeks. "No, this... This just happens when I'm really turned on..." He murmured, looking away as he was rather embarrassed.

Noiz chuckled softly, then placed a soft kiss against Koujaku's lips, rather relieved that he wasn't the source of the problem. "Cute~" He teased, still panting and trying to catch his breath. "Maybe it'll stop by the time I finish you off~" Noiz smirked and continued to stroke Koujaku's throbbing cock, faster than the pace that he'd left off at.

A euphoric expression made its way onto Koujaku's face once Noiz took control of his body once more. He followed suit, scraping his nails against his dick as per his request. "Noiz, I'm close..." He managed out between his rather loud moans.

Noiz's knees pressed harder against the seat cushions as he brought his hips forward again, knitting his brow and panting. "Me too... Ugh... I-it feels so good.... More, Koujaku." He half begged. It was so unlike him to be like this, a needy, begging mess. But it didn't seem to bother Koujaku, so he guessed it was alright.

"N-Noiz, I- Nngh-!" Koujaku slammed his eyes shut and bucked his hips forward powerfully as he came, his semen splattering between their abdomens. He panted softly, a determined look coming onto his face as his strokes quickened, pressing his nails harder into the firmness of Noiz's cock. "Come for me, Noiz..." He said in his heavenly seductive tone.

Noiz gasped sharply and sunk his teeth into his lower lip as he came, never having experienced something like this in his life. "K-Koujaku..." He cried out breathlessly as his cum spewed out. He rested his head against Koujaku's chest, listening to his increased heart rate as his chest rose and fell. 

Coming down from his high, Koujaku ran his trembling fingers through Noiz's hair. "I love you." He said softly, out of breath from the experience.

"I love you too." Noiz said gently, resting his hands on Koujaku's chest. "So much..." He added, closing his eyes for a moment.

Koujaku pressed a few soft kisses to the top of Noiz's head, then smiled gently. "Lets go take a nap at my house." He said gently. "I never told your father when I'd have you home." He reminded, moving his hands down his back slowly. 

Noiz nodded and shyly fixed his pants. "I'd love to~" He said gently, stealing another gentle kiss before crawling back to the passenger's seat. 

Koujaku followed suit and fixed his pants, then chuckled softly. "You know, your moans are adorable." He said, carefully wiping the cum off of his shirt.

The blond rolled his eyes. "At least my nose doesn't bleed when I cum, you dork." He mumbled with a soft smirk.

Koujaku groaned, embarrassed of the characteristic. He started up the engine and began to drive through the city.

Noiz found himself looking out the window, as always, viewing the scenery and the variety of life that seemed to mingle around the city at every corner. Koujaku had pointed out a few small things to him as they drove, such as street acts, buildings of importance and such. Noiz found that he actually liked the city, as long as he didn't have to interact with people that lived there. 

They drove mostly in silence other than the occasional side comment, but they found that they were still holding hands, as they usually were. Noiz found that he felt rather secure while holding his hand, like he had a place and a purpose. It was nice to be needed, he decided. 

Koujaku pulled into the long driveway of his home, then stopped the engine and escorted Noiz into the house with an excited smile. "They're not home yet." He said gently, bringing Noiz up the stairs with a cheerful spring in his step. 

Noiz chuckled softly as he followed. "They must be getting to know my parents, then." He pointed out.

Koujaku pulled Noiz into his room with a smirk, closing the door behind them as he brought their lips together again in a passionate, near vigorous kiss. He wrapped his arms around his waist, an airy giggle emitting into the kiss.

The blond gladly accepted the kiss placing his hands on either side of Koujaku's face with a gentle hum. Noiz felt his stomach bubble with happiness as the kiss went on, until...

A sharp cough filled the room, coming from neither of the two. Koujaku opened one of his eyes and pulled his lips away from Noiz's, looking to the source of the cough. "What are you doing in here?" He barked, looking to the other figure in the room.

Mizuki rolled his eyes and spoke in a rather gruff tone. "Get over yourself. I'm your servant, remember?" He said.

Noiz hardened his expression as he looked to Mizuki. He sighed deeply and buried his face in Koujaku's chest, preferring not to revisit the memories associated with that asshole.

Koujaku gave Noiz a gentle squeeze. "Out." He barked, obviously still pissed from their previous encounter, when he'd punched Mizuki across the face.

The other man just nodded and left the room, a rather deep pain hidden behind his seafoam gaze as he exited.

Koujaku slammed the door shut, then scooped Noiz up in his arms and carried him to the bed, laying a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Hey. Are you okay?" He asked gently, beginning to unbutton and discard his own shirt.

Noiz nodded and looked up to his fiance as he rested his head on one of Koujaku's pillows and lay down, removing his shirt as well. "He just pisses me off." he explained, wrapping his arms around Koujaku's midsection and tugging him down to the bed. "Come on, loser. I'm tired." He mumbled, closing his eyes.

Koujaku landed next to Noiz and protectively wrapped his arms around him. "Alright, dear." he replied, pressing his lips to his forehead carefully. "Sleep well, my rose."

Noiz smiled, pressing closer to him as he yawned softly.

"I love you, Noiz."

"I love you too, Koujaku."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there's some smut for you. There'll be more, I promise. Trust me, there'll be a LOT more. And there'll be a lot of angst coming soon, so please be ready for that.
> 
> This chapter is literally nearly the length of 2 chapters. I hope that makes up for the slow updates >


	6. Clarity

The saccharine chirps of small birds filled the atmosphere as Noiz's mind drifted to places that it would only dare wander when he was completely alone. Only this time, he wasn't alone. Koujaku was seated beside him with his idle, yet endearing grin that seemed to be a permanent feature on his pristine lips. He was speaking, and Noiz was listening intently, yet he found it easy to think whilst conversing with his fiance. His hand's surface was being warmed by Koujaku's, and he swore he could nearly feel the grip of the digits against his own. 

"I mean, it's not like everything has to be perfect," Koujaku continued, his crimson pools directing themselves to the powder blue sky above the scene. The brilliantly vibrant garden near the gazebo in Koujaku's yard swayed all around the laying pair, the breeze just gentle enough to be enjoyable. "Though it'll be flawless in my eyes, regardless of the turnout." His hand tightened against Noiz's as fluffy clouds passed slowly overhead.

The blond viewed the clouds with a soft smile. "Do you positively mean that?" He asked, running his thumb over the back of Koujaku's hand slowly as his eyes attached themselves to a certain cloud that had caught his interest. The way it radiated a reflection of the golden setting sun was nearly mesmerizing to him.

Koujaku turned his head to face the other with a small chuckle. "Of course I do." He stated gently, sitting up and leaning over Noiz as he caressed his fingertips of his free hand over his fiance's cheek slowly. He leaned down slowly, then sighed and flicked his eyes to his. "There's just one flaw in the entire plan of our wedding." He said, his lips just a few mere centimeters from Noiz's.

Noiz looked up to him with a warm smile, the beauty of the other overwhelming him slightly. "What's the flaw?" He asked, his hand slowly moving to Koujaku's forearm.

Koujaku seemed to hesitate a moment, then breathed irritably. "You." He spat out, his sharp eyebrows furrowing as his hands wrapped around Noiz's neck, their prominent strength pressing harshly to his windpipe.

The blond's eyes went wide as the air tried to force its way into his lungs. He found himself thoroughly confused and heartbroken simultaneously and began to try to push away Koujaku's body, his vision becoming black and starry as he struggled against the man's great force.

The atmosphere turned into something more sinister. The grass that was once lush and flourishing began to wither and die, and the luminescent sky became a burnt red. The chirps of the birds faded into terrorized screams, and Koujaku's grin turned to a grimace as he choked out the German.

Noiz could taste blood and began to pass out, but not before he heard the final words from Koujaku's lips. _"I will never love you, and neither will anyone else."_   At this, Noiz's struggle ceased slightly due to the pure shock and lack of oxygen. A figure with long blue hair began to creep into his vision from over Koujaku's shoulder. The man seemed to have a set of amber eyes, his lips curled into a smirk. Who the hell was that? He furrowed his brow and found himself fading into a darkness that wouldn't allow him to see any more of either man's face.

Waking with a sharp breath, Noiz searched the room he'd been laying in. He was back at home, and for the first time, he couldn't feel more relieved to be in the confines of his bedroom. The dream... it'd all felt so real. He swore he could feel the pressure of Koujaku's hands on his neck, and his mouth felt fooled by the lack of blood that it'd expected. He honestly had thought that he'd been murdered by Koujaku, but yet here he was, in the flesh, still completely alive.

The German slowly stumbled out of his bed and walked to the bathroom, positioning his slim frame in front of the mirror. His sharp eyes examined his neck as he tilted his chin up slightly. Just to further his proof of the incident being just a dream, not a single bruise had surfaced his skin's milky complexion. With a soft sigh, Noiz turned himself to the bath tub, then turned the knobs and switched on the shower head, ridding himself of his clothing. 

Since the day that they'd all discussed plans for the wedding, Noiz had been rather on edge. He was only eighteen, and even though he wasn't unsure of his emotions for Koujaku, he still wasn't sure if he wanted the wedding to be so soon. May sixth was the day that they'd planned for, but today was the twenty ninth of April. That meant there was only a week until the wedding. Noiz hadn't seen Koujaku since that day, either, though he'd phoned yesterday, and promised to phone today before they were to leave for the hotel in Manhattan. 

Noiz dipped his toe into the shallow water in the bottom of the tub, then carefully stepped into the direct stream of the shower. He ran his fingertips through his sandy hair and let out a sigh as he closed his eyes and let the water run over his lean, scarred body. He noted that his vocal cords sounded rather scratchy, but he presumed that it was because of how much he'd been talking the last few days. He'd barely had a use for his voice in years, since it was a rarity to see his parents, or even step outside. Yoshie was the only person he saw, most of the time, and they rarely spoke as well.

As he cleaned himself, he thought back to the little endeavor that he and Koujaku had had in his car when they'd went to the city. His pale cheeks became acquainted with an intense blush, and a thin smile met his lips. He'd wondered exactly what'd triggered that moment, that pure ecstasy that seemed to be overbearing in the atmosphere of the car. In his mind, he recalled how Koujaku's lips had taken such pristine care as they pressed to his own, almost in a way that seemed to announce just how famished he was for passion and romance. The way that he was so eager to please Noiz, that he didn't even question his requests to claw him, truly relieved the blond. Perhaps he'd never question it, and that was even better. He just hoped that his performance was good enough. They hadn't spoken of it, perhaps just because they'd only talked on the phone since then. 

He wondered if he'd treated Mizuki with the same passion. The smile faded from his lips when the thought came to mind, and it made the moment seem a bit less special. He wondered if Koujaku craved him still, or worse, if he was thinking of him while everything in the car had happened...

Noiz abruptly turned the knobs, choking off the water's flow, his expression hardening to stone, as it often was. He stepped onto the towel outside of the shower, then began to dry himself off as he tried to release the thought. Koujaku didn't still feel for that asshole, did he? He honestly couldn't make that judgement, since he'd never seen the two interact, save for the other day. 

Just as he let his mind begin to float from the topic, a knock sounded on his bathroom door, followed by a familiar voice. "Are you decent?" It asked, the owner of the voice obviously holding a smile on his perfect, elegant lips. 

The blond jumped slightly at the sound of his fiance. His eyes widened when he remembered his scars, and how exposed he was like this. He quickly grabbed for his light green robe, then wrapped it around himself quickly. "Y-Yeah, you can come in." He replied finally, turning to the door as he tucked the robe's belt into place.

Koujaku stepped through the threshold of the door with a beaming smile. "My, doesn't your hair look fantastic?" He chuckled.

Noiz turned to the mirror and smirked slightly. His hair was sticking up in different places, giving it a spiky appearance. Noiz assumed it was from his attempt at drying his hair. He grabbed his comb off of the counter, then slowly pulled it through his hair. "Sorry." He mumbled as he combed out the snarls in his hair.

The taller of the pair placed his scarred hand over Noiz's, then took over the combing process. "I should apologize. I'm the one who walked in on you like this. I should have let you get ready first." He shrugged, being rather gentle with Noiz's blond locks. 

Noiz watched Koujaku's hands in the mirror, moving intricately with the comb. His face seemed concentrated, yet loving. Almost as if this moment was his favorite out of all of the ones he'd lived through so far. "Don't worry about it." Noiz murmured, rather mesmerized by the way that he was being handled so gently.

Koujaku's eyes flicked to the mirror as a small smirk crawled along his lips. His long fingers caressed Noiz's scalp gently as he pulled the comb through for the last time, then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss against the side of his fiance's head without breaking their eye contact. "Your hair is beautiful." He nearly whispered, his arms wrapping around Noiz's torso from behind.

The blond placed his hands over Koujaku's, leaning into him slightly as he tilted his head up, gazing into the crimson hues that seemed to bring instant comfort to him. "Your face is beautiful." He mumbled, blinking slowly. His facial expression didn't seem very interested in the situation, though he was honestly stimulated by every detail that his eyes were taking in. 

"Well, so is yours." Koujaku retorted in a nearly childish tone. His fingers intertwined with Noiz's, and he pulled his body a bit firmer against his.

A small 'tch' left Noiz's lips, not believing a word anyone said when it came to his looks. "Shut up." He sighed, pushing himself up onto his toes in order to leave a gentle kiss against Koujaku's cheek. 

Before he could flatten out his feet again, Koujaku placed a hand on Noiz's jaw and pressed a loving kiss to his lips.

Without protest, Noiz reciprocated the kiss. The feeling of Koujaku's hand so close to his throat made the thought of the nightmare resurface, but he tried to push the memory back down in his gut where it was supposed to be residing. Apparently, he failed to completely hide it, since his sidetracked mind had wandered a bit too far, and Noiz was now sinking his teeth into Koujaku's lower lip. Not enough to draw blood, but definitely enough to be noticed.

A soft chuckle left the Asian's throat. "Mh- Noiz-" he managed to struggle out the soft words from his lips. "Hey, can you at least wait till we get to the hotel?" He asked jokingly, peering down at his lover with a slight smirk.

Noiz blushed slightly. Had Koujaku thought he was trying to initiate something with the bite? His eyes went wide for a moment, then returned to normal as he realized this as a chance to make an excuse. "Oh, I see. You can't handle a bit of rough kissing without your pants getting a bit tighter, huh?" He rolled his eyes, then stepped to the door and opened it just a bit.

Before he could open the door much more, Koujaku placed his hands against Noiz's shoulders and pressed him up against the door, slamming it back to its closed state. His lips collided with Noiz's in such a flurry of passion, that it was hard for either of the two to decipher the situation at first.

"Nh-!" Noiz grunted, then kissed back once he had a grip on the situation, their lips meeting with a certain vigor. The kiss tasted a little like a challenge, adding fuel to the fire that was built between the two. Noiz's arms slithered around Koujaku's shoulders clinging and pulling him closer as he parted his lips.

Koujaku's tongue invaded Noiz's mouth, rubbing sensually against his as his hands locked on the blond's hips. He let a soft moan escape from the space between their lips as his body pressed full against the smaller frame of his lover.

The German quickly retaliated the invasive tongue by biting down on it slightly. His nails dug into the fabric of Koujaku's red button-up slightly, the passion becoming seriously intense. His hips ground against the other's slightly, perhaps just to tease him a bit.

Koujaku quickly pulled his lips away, a thread of saliva connecting them briefly before leaving Noiz's lips by themselves once more. "Satisfied for now?" He asked with a dreamy tone.

Noiz caught his breath, then nodded as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "You have no self control." He noted, turning to open the door and stepping out before Koujaku could slam him against it again.

A soft laugh followed the comment. "Only when it comes to you." Koujaku retorted. "I'll leave so you can get dressed."

Noiz turned to his fiance, then rolled his eyes. "I don't see why you'd need to leave. I mean, we're going to be married within a week, right?" He pointed out as he walked to his closet. Perhaps his sudden confidence was talking over him again, since he didn't mind if Koujaku saw his scars. After all, he'd been the one that dressed his wounds the last time that his father got his hands on him. Shyly, he shrugged his robe off slightly so that the silky green material covered only his waist down. He peered over his shoulder to Koujaku. "And something tells me you're going to be rather restless at the hotel tonight, so I should take my advantage of teasing you right now." He gave a slight smirk.

As if on cue, Koujaku's cheeks turned to a hue that was nearly comparable to his eyes. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, then hooked his canine teeth against his lower lip briefly. "I'm sure I can control myself." He stated in a tone that completely announced that his words were bullshit. 

Noiz let out a bit of a chuckle, then shook his head. "Doubt it." He mumbled, pulling a plain white button-up shirt out of his closet, the robe still held firmly in place. 

As he drew in a deep breath, Koujaku watched Noiz tug the shirt over his body, casting over the heavily scarred surface of his back. He watched as Noiz turned his head slightly, his extraordinarily sharp eyes cornering him in their sights. Koujaku parted his lips slightly as if to make a comment, but was silenced by the playful, perhaps challenging smirk that crawled its way onto Noiz's lips.

The blond dropped the robe a few more inches, his eyes never straying from Koujaku's as he did so. His intent was obviously mischievous from the way that his body was posed. He tilted his head slightly, then turned back to the closet and withdrew the rest of the clothing that he was going to put on eventually, but not before getting a rise out of Koujaku. 

Koujaku rolled his eyes and gave Noiz a playful glare. "Are you gonna keep at this all day?" He asked, shifting his hips slightly.

Noiz shrugged carelessly, then sighed. "I'll keep at it as long as I'd like." He said in an indecipherable tone, then dropped the robe to the floor while still keeping his body turned away from Koujaku. He smirked again when he saw Koujaku's face turn an even darker shade of red, then slid on his boxers, then his pants. 

"You're shameless." Koujaku mumbled, then walked forward to Noiz and pressed a gentle kiss against his forehead as he helped him button his pants. 

Noiz didn't like being helped, but allowed it nonetheless. He pressed forward into Koujaku's arms, then rested his head against his chest for a moment. "Ready to go?" He asked in a quiet tone. 

Koujaku slowly ran his fingertips through Noiz's hair, craning his neck slightly to press his lips against the top of his head. "Yeah. Your maid brought your stuff down to the car when I got here." He replied in the same soft tone of voice. 

Pushing away from Koujaku's chest gently, he nodded. "Alright. Let's go then." He intertwined his fingers with Koujaku's, then began to walk out the door with Koujaku in tow.

The two made their way to Koujaku's car, then settled in for the drive to Manhattan. Koujaku explained that the reason that they were going to be staying there was so that arrangements could be made for the wedding, and his family believed that the two of them shouldn't be in such a stressful environment. He also said that it was because the two of them needed more alone time, since the wedding was sprung on them at such short notice.

Noiz watched out the window for the majority of the time, viewing the scenery yet again, changing from trees and well-kept lawns to masses of concrete and linoleum, scraping the surface of the clouds with their heights that seemed impossible. Noiz couldn't help but wonder why the city kept being built up. He thought that there was enough to do in the city, so why add more? But then again, he'd never been familiar with the human concept of material wealth, or greed.

The only thing he knew was longing. He knew that he wanted so desperately to be free from his confines, and to explore everything he'd wanted to know. His reality was so different from that of someone that had been allowed to come and go as they please from their own homes. By his family's standards, he was a freak of nature, never allowed to touch fresh air unless it was permitted and seen fit. 

Koujaku, on the other hand, had known everything he wanted. He'd seen life, he'd felt love, he'd been allowed to go wherever his heart called him, and nothing was in his way. It seemed like such a miraculous life to live, especially when that kind of life was only a pipe dream for Noiz. Perhaps once the wedding was done with, he'd have the life he desired.

"Noiz." Koujaku's voice surfaced within his ears. "Wake up, hun. We're here." He said, his smile edging its way into his tone as it often did. 

The blond shook his head, then looked around. He'd fallen asleep, he guessed. His head had been resting on Koujaku's arm. "Sorry." He murmured, placing his hand on his door handle and opening it slowly. 

As he stepped out, he tilted his head back and stared at the hotel in awe. "Wow." He whispered under his breath. The hotel was enormous, seeming to shine in the sun. The windows reflected a view of the entire city, while the golden accents boasted among the white exterior of the building. 

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Koujaku inquired, turning to Noiz with a smile. "I've been here a few times, and it never fails to amaze me." his voice continued as he circled to the trunk of the car and dragged out both of their suitcases. 

An excitable bellhop with gleaming snow-white hair met the two at the car. "I'll take those, Sir." He chimed in a sing-song voice as he took their luggage from Koujaku. His eyes seemed to be a purplish-pink color, and two small moles poised themselves perfectly below his lower lip. "This way, please." He smiled, towing their luggage as he walked with a spring in his step towards the massive gleaming building.

The pair followed after him at the same pace into the structure. What Noiz saw took his breath away, and he nearly had to stop in order to behold the place in all of its distinguished glory. 

The lobby was something that one could mistake for heaven. The walls of the rather large room contained pillars with small statues carved into their surface, painted gold. In the center of the scene was a large crystal chandelier, the lights on the inner part of it shimmering through the crystal. The stray beams of light were reflected off of the gleaming cream-colored marble floor, and lit up the atmosphere with a brilliant glow. A few velvet armchairs and sofas were gathered comfortably by a fountain near the grand staircase, adding a touch of comfort to the atmosphere where a few people spread minor gossip between sips of their champagne.

So this was the life Noiz was missing out on. He'd never idly chit-chatted with people for his own leisure, and he'd never imagined that people could be comfortable outside of their home. He was always told that home was the only place he was safe, but he could see now that it was another lie told from his parents.

The concierge desk was a large mahogany crescent, curving in towards the wall where an older man stood, dressed in a suit. He seemed rather bald, and wore a pair of thick glasses. He seemed rather uncomfortable in his environment, but his face had a practiced look of hospitality on it. 

"Hello, Sir. You two must be Koujaku and Noiz. We have your suite ready for you." The man smiled. Noiz noted his name tag, bearing in bold, black letters, 'Haga'. He pushed a key across the desk with a pleasant smile as he folded his hands in front of his abdomen. "Clear will carry your luggage up for you two. If there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask." He chirped

Koujaku nodded with a smile, giving the man a quick 'thank you' before continuing to follow the bellhop.

The bellhop, who's name was now known as Clear, turned to the pair with a large smile. "You two get to take the elevator. You're on the top floor." He said, as if it were the most exciting thing in the world.

Noiz held tightly onto Koujaku's hand. "Elevator?" He whispered, looking up to his fiance with a confused look.

Giving Noiz's hand a slight squeeze, he chuckled. "It's a way to get to the top floor quicker than stairs. Its like a room that moves up." He explained.

Noiz nodded slightly as they stepped inside of the said elevator. It seemed rather strange inside, nothing like Noiz had really seen before. It was just like Koujaku had said. Clear pressed a button, and the doors closed slowly. When the elevator began to move, Noiz jolted and leaned against the wall, his eyes going wide for a moment.

The taller of the two let out a booming laugh, then covered his mouth with his hand as he wheezed in utter amusement. "That's priceless." Koujaku managed out through fits of laughter.

The blond looked up to Koujaku with an irritated sigh. "I've never been in one of these things, leave me alone." He mumbled, gripping the bar that lined the interior of the elevator.

Clear looked back to the two with a grin. "So, you two have the honeymoon sweet. Newlyweds, I'm guessing?" He asked curiously.

Koujaku shook his head with a small smile. "No, we're engaged. We'll be married on the sixth of May." He informed the bellhop as he gave Noiz's hand a light squeeze. "I know I'm excited." He said in a lower tone, directing his half-lidded gaze to Noiz.

The German nodded slowly, not quite sure what to say. He wasn't familiar with social interactions, really. "So am I." He replied quietly.

Clear seemed to swoon at the way the two acted together. "That's nice." He beamed as the elevator doors opened at the top floor. "Ah. Here we are." He said, pulling their luggage down the hall, the same spring seeming to be in his step. 

Koujaku held Noiz's hand as they walked down the seemingly long hallway, a few doors here and there, but at the end of the hall was a large white double-door with gold handles that had a slight curve to them. 

Clear stood to the side for a moment, then smiled as he waited for the pair to unlock the room.

With a slight grin, Koujaku handed the key to Noiz. "You open it." He suggested.

The blond glanced up at Koujaku, then took the key and stepped forward slowly as he positioned the key in his hand. He pressed the key into the lock slowly, then turned it and opened the door slowly.

What was inside struck him as exuberant. He stepped inside, mouth slightly agape as he took in his surroundings. It wasn't anything that he'd expected. This wasn't like a simple room, this was nearly a small house. The carpet was a plush, deep tapestry of blue, while the walls were an elegant cream color. He took a few more steps into the room, peering around freely. There was a table with two velvet-upholstered chairs at either end, and atop of it was a bucket of ice, containing a bottle of champagne from what Noiz could infer. Around the corner was a large bed with a sort of  sheer red canopy over it, piled with pillows, though it still looked extremely elegant. Directly across from him stood a large stretch of a window, from ceiling to floor. He stepped towards it and laid a hand against the glass, viewing the city as far as it went, right up to the ocean.

Koujaku came up behind the other and rested his arms around his hips. "Do you like it?" He questioned as he placed his chin on Noiz's shoulder.

Noiz nodded slowly, then cracked a small smile. "Yeah." He said softly, finding himself a bit too deep in thought to elaborate on his response.

"Well, I hope you two have a nice vacation!" Clear chimed in, setting their luggage by the doorway. "If you need anything, please don't hesitate to come down to the front desk and ask." He folded his hands in front of his abdomen, giving a slight bow before exiting the room, shutting the door gently before either of the two could utter their thanks.

A soft chuckle escaped Koujaku as he turned his head slightly, then pressed his lips against Noiz's neck. "Alone at last, huh?" He mumbled against Noiz's skin.

Noiz removed his hand from the glass, then settled his hand against Koujaku's hair and carded the strands through his fingers. He'd registered the slight pressure of Koujaku's lips on his neck and rolled his eyes. "You're so damn persistent." He replied with a small smirk, which faded slightly with his next thought. "Hey... Why do you bother kissing me like that? You know I can't feel it, so why waste your time?" He implored, pausing his fingers in anticipation of his answer.

Koujaku seemed to ponder it for a moment before sighing against Noiz's neck and pressing another gentle kiss to the skin. "I guess its a bit of a sentimental thing." He finally replied.

A bit confused by the answer, Noiz turned in Koujaku's arms, peering up at him. "Why do people kiss there?" He asked, then placed a hand on Koujaku's jaw, reminding himself to be gentle as he lifted his head slightly to make his neck accessible. "Does it feel good or something?" the words flowed off of his tongue carelessly as he leaned forward and pressed a slow, gentle kiss against Koujaku's adam's apple and let his eyes drift shut, moving his lips slowly against the delicate skin.

The skin where Noiz had kissed brimmed with goosebumps, and something like an electric pulse moved through Koujaku's body. He placed his hands on Noiz's hips and closed his eyes half-way. He didn't even bother to answer Noiz due to how enveloped he was in the way his lips moved with ignorance to demeanor.

After a while, Noiz slowly parted his lips from the skin. "I guess so." He replied to his own question. A look of curiosity came over Noiz's face for a moment. "What about this...?" He posed the question, then parted his lips a bit and pressed them back to Koujaku's skin, only in a different part of his neck this time. He placed a hand on the back of his neck and tugged him closer, then he let his tongue to trace over the skin slowly, feeling his skin with genuine interest. He breathed in slowly, then pressed his teeth to Koujaku's skin.

Koujaku seemed to jolt a bit at the stimulation he was receiving. He let out a small, airy moan, then pressed his nails slightly against  Noiz's back and tilted his head up a bit more. "That- Ah... That feels good..." He replied.

Noiz pulled back with a small chuckle. "Sensitive, much?" He tilted his head slightly, then shrugged. "I'm gonna go unpack." He said, releasing Koujaku's neck and walking away from the other with an unmarked carelessness.

Furrowing his brow, Koujaku sighed. "I'm gonna get you back for this." He stated as he followed the blond over to where their luggage had been left.

A small smirk crossed Noiz's lips as he dragged his suitcase over to the large mahogany dresser and unclipped the hinges. "Hey, I'm not used to affection yet." He stated firmly, beginning to place his clothes inside of the drawers.

Koujaku came alongside him with his own suitcase and joined him while unpacking his own belongings. "Wait, so you're saying that the other day in the car..." He trailed off.

"Was my first time being touched. Yeah." Noiz glanced over at Koujaku. "That's what I'm saying." He carelessly placed more of his clothing into the drawer.

Koujaku shook his head a bit, then directed his attention to Noiz. "First time  _ever?"_   he examined Noiz's face for any implication of lies.

The blond glared over to the other questioningly. "Are you asking if I've ever masturbated? Cause that's a truly stupid question." He retorted and closed his empty suitcase, placing it next to the dresser. "That was the first time someone else has touched me." He corrected.

With a heavy sigh, Koujaku followed suit of Noiz's actions and placed his suitcase on the side of the dresser. "So, I'm literally the first person you've ever been romantically involved with?" He continued his question asking.

Noiz nodded. "What'd you expect? I've never really been allowed to interact with other people until now." he shrugged his shoulders, then sat on the edge of the bed with a slight sigh. 

Koujaku seemed to think hard for a moment as he leaned against the dresser. "So... The first time we kissed...." His eyes found their way to Noiz's and locked there with a compassionate tone to their gaze.

The German nodded. "The first time I've been kissed." He said, the words not seeming to bother him much, though he knew that his lack of romantic experience might effect their relationship.

The taller of the two smiled a bit, as if he'd just thought of something extremely pleasant. He took a step and sat at the foot of the bed with Noiz, then peered over to him with the grin still plastered to his lips. "I'm glad that I was your first, then." He chimed sweetly, resting his hand on Noiz's.

Noiz turned his head and met the eyes of his lover. "Why? All it means is that I'm extremely inexperienced, and that I'll probably be struggling to figure out what to do the first time we have sex, and my kisses aren't going to be as sweet as they would be if I had been wi-" He was cut off by Koujaku's index finger being pressed to his lips.

Koujaku leaned closer, then removed his finger slowly. "It means that things get to be right the first time around. It means that you don't have to go through trial and error before you find out what it feels like to be kissed by someone who loves you, as opposed to someone who's just loving you for the time being." He explained, giving his hand a slight squeeze. "I guess you could say its more of a blessing than a curse."

Noiz guessed he'd just never seen it in that light. He shrugged slightly, then offered up a bit of a smile. "Well, when you put it that way..." He leaned against Koujaku a bit. "I guess it's not so bad to be inexperienced."

With a small sigh of relief, Koujaku kissed the top of Noiz's head, then slowly released him and stood up. "It's not bad at all." He assured, going into one of the dresser drawers. He fished his hand around for a moment, then chuckled. "Ever been swimming?" 

Noiz shook his head. "There's a pool at my house, but I've never used it." He clarified. The closest thing he'd ever done to swimming was sitting in his bathtub, which he enjoyed. He'd done it the night he'd met Koujaku, and he thought that he'd always be at his pinnacle of comfort there at the bottom of the tub. He wished he could breathe underwater, because he swore he'd never leave.

"Well, there's a pool here, and I'm determined to get you in there." The Asian challenged, taking a pair of swim trunks from the dresser and stepping towards the bathroom.

Noiz sighed. "Do you think I have a pair of trunks, genius?" He laid back on the bed with a heavy sigh. Something light hit his chest and he leaned up to see what it was. 

Koujaku had tossed his swim trunks to him, then picked another pair from the drawer. "I always bring spares." He explained, then continued his route to the bathroom. He stopped for a moment, then turned his head to Noiz. "Oh. And don't worry about struggling to find out what to do once we have sex. I'll guide you through it." He spoke with a certain seduction lining his sultry voice as he stepped into the bathroom.

Noiz wasn't sure if that was something he should thank him for or not. Regardless, he blushed a bit at the comment. He stood and changed into the trunks, then walked over to the bathroom door and knocked a few times before Koujaku gave his approval for it to be opened.

He entered the room and stood in front of the mirror, wincing at his pale skin. "What if someone sees my scars?" He asked, then looked to the now shirtless Koujaku in awe.

What he saw was both beautiful and confusing. "Tattoos?" He asked, coming forward a bit and running his fingertips over the deep black intricacy staining Koujaku's abdomen in a gorgeous way. "You never told me about them." He murmured softly. "I like them."

Koujaku stiffened slightly when Noiz touched the tattoos, but eased up after he dismissed his anxiety. "Ah, I'm glad." He smiled, then handed Noiz a towel. "And here. Just do what I do." He said, draping another towel around his own shoulders. "People wont see them once you get into the water."

Noiz promptly followed Koujaku's instruction. "Do you have scars too?" He asked curiously. He was rather confused as to why Koujaku wanted to hide his back as well.

With a sigh and slight hesitation, Koujaku let the towel fall from his shoulders, then turned to Noiz.

Upon his back was a large tattoo, spanning from his hip, almost to his neck. It was a rather beautiful tattoo, numerous large flowers covering nearly half of his back. Noiz was even more confused now. It was a gorgeous tattoo that looked rather expensive, so he'd assume that he'd want to show it off. "It's beautiful.. Why don't you want anyone to see it?" He asked curiously.

Koujaku picked up the towel. "Because it's a flaw, and I don't want it there." He explained. 

Noiz decided not to tread on ice that might be thin, and stopped questioning Koujaku's reasoning for hiding his tattoo. "Alright." He said, then took Koujaku's hand, holding the towel in place with the other. "Lets go." He said softly.

With a nod and a small smile, Koujaku led Noiz to the door and down the hallway to the elevator.

Noiz had to get used to the elevator, he guessed. The second time wasn't so bad, but going down so fast made him feel a bit sick. He gripped onto the railing that lined the inside of the elevator again, just to be sure that he'd stay steady. 

The elevator stopped at the main lobby again, and Koujaku led Noiz to the other side of it, where it branched off into another hallway. Even though hallways usually were minor in comparison to the rest of a building, these still reflected the elegance of the place as a whole. 

Koujaku opened a door that mostly consisted of glass, leading Noiz inside. He moved to one of the chairs that sat along the deck of the pool and removed his towel, seeing that nobody else was there at the moment. 

The pool was exactly like a bigger version of a bathtub, only it was much deeper, and it was below the surface of the floor. It looked like it could be fun. Noiz liked water, so maybe he'd like this even more than the tub. He set his towel down on the chair, then stepped over to the ladder, rather eager to try out the water.

"Whoa, whoa, wait." Koujaku advised, quickly rushing over to the ladder, where Noiz was already submerged from his waist down. "That's the deep end. I wouldn't recommend it if you don't know how to swim." He chuckled slightly, stretching out his hand to Noiz.

Noiz shrugged and released the ladder, letting himself  drift out into the water. He took in a deep breath and submerged himself into the depths. This experience was so much better than that of a tub.

He couldn't hear a thing, and it was as if all of his senses were numb. This was what he found relaxing, only the experience seemed to be intensified now that he felt free in every form. His body wasn't confined to a tub, like usual. He had no restraints, and he felt free as he lingered among the water as if he were nothing, which was what he often was. 

Noiz lifted his head and expected for his head to be back above so he could take a breath, but he was deathly mistaken. He opened his eyes, unable to tell which way was up and which way was down. He started to flail his limbs as he attempted to find the surface.

A numbed crash sounded from just beside Noiz, then a pair of strong, familiar arms wrapped around him and tugged him upward toward the surface. 

Koujaku firmly held Noiz as he dragged him from the center of the pool to the side. He placed the blond's hands on the edge of the deck and idled beside him. He huffed loudly as he pulled Noiz up the ladder and onto the surface of the deck. "What the... What the  _hell_ were you thinking?!" He spoke in a stern, nearly angry tone. "You could have died, Noiz!"

At the sound of Koujaku's anger, Noiz held his arms in front of his face reflexively, terror finding his wide green eyes. 

"What are you- oh no, Noiz, I would never hit-" He stammered, then wrapped his arms around Noiz's waist and hugged him close, feeling like it was all he could do to prove his point.

Noiz breathed deeply as he slowly lowered his arms, then placed them around Koujaku quietly. "I know..." He replied finally.

Koujaku placed a small kiss against Noiz's forehead. "You scared me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell." He apologized softly.

The blond nodded, then took Koujaku's hand and lead him to the shallower side of the pool. "I'll listen this time, alright? Can you teach me to swim, please?" he asked sweetly.

With a small smile, Koujaku nodded. "Yeah, I'll teach you." He replied with a bit of a smirk. "Heads up." He gave as a brief warning, then pulled Noiz into the pool with him as he jumped.

Noiz nearly yelled before they hit the water, finding himself clinging to Koujaku as they submerged. He felt the pressure of Koujaku's lips against his while they were under the water and kissed back the best he could midst the disorientation.

When the two finally surfaced, Noiz realized that the water here was much more shallow. "Maybe I should have started over here, huh?" He mused.

Koujaku rolled his eyes, then pushed his dark hair away from his face and gave Noiz another kiss, humming softly behind his lips.

Noiz reciprocated, then smiled softly. "Are you gonna show me how to do this, or are you gonna keep wasting time?" He teased.

"You'll learn eventually, but I think we should have some fun first." He splashed Noiz playfully.

"You asshole." Noiz chuckled, splashing back at Koujaku, which seemed to cause a full out war between the two. They splashed back and fourth, Koujaku occasionally sinking and resurfacing behind Noiz to get an advantage. Needless to say, Noiz found himself rather content with the situation, which was evident by the huge grin he wore for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

 

A knock sounded at the front door of the residency, which summoned Mizuki away from the pile of dishes that he was assigned to clean. He knew exactly who it was, and he'd been waiting all afternoon. It seemed as if Aoba worked around his own schedule, and wouldn't show a minute before he was ready to do so. Mizuki grasped the brass handle of the door, then swung it open coolly, like he'd done the act hundreds of times before, which he most likely had. "Took you long enough." He joked, shaking Aoba's hand. "How are you?" He asked as he ushered the man in, closing the door behind them.

"I've been doing great." Aoba said with his usual smile. "Thanks for inviting me over." He moved into the parlor, taking a seat at one of the plush arm chairs.

 Mizuki rested himself on the arm chair across from Aoba. "I'm sorry it was on such short notice, but I figured since we haven't seen each other in a while, maybe you'd like to come over and let me talk you into joining my gang, finally." He said with a chuckle, taking the bottle of moonshine he'd set on the coffee table. He emptied some of it into a glass and offered it to Aoba.

"No thanks." He politely declined, crossing his legs carefully. "Is Koujaku here by chance?" He asked, looking up to the staircase, seeming rather intrigued by the thought of talking to the man.

Mizuki took the drink that'd been meant for Aoba and took a few sips, a grimace coming to his face as he heard the question. "Nah. He and his fiance are at some fancy hotel in Manhattan for a few days while everyone's planning the wedding." He spoke in a rather uninterested tone. "About Dry Juice, though. Did you have any interest in joining? I mean, it's always good to have people for protection. Especially with prohibition and everything..." He continued.

"Fiance?" He asked quietly his tone seeming a bit hurt. "He's... He's engaged?" He turned his attention to Mizuki with a nearly horrified expression. "To who?" He asked. He was rather offended that he hadn't been told. Koujaku told him everything. A loud pounding sound started in his head, and he began pressing his fingertips to his temples and wincing in pain.

A bit of confusion worked its way into Mizuki's voice. "I thought everyone knew... He's getting married to the son of that one German family. They moved here a while ago. I think his name is Noiz?" He explained, furrowing his brow a bit. "Hey Aoba, man, are you alright?" He leaned over a bit to try and get a glimpse at his face.

Aoba smiled a bit, then removed his fingertips from his temples and looked up to Mizuki, his eyes having a certain glow to them. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache." He spat out in a confident tone, then reached for the moonshine and poured himself a glass, then swigged it down rather quickly. "Noiz, huh?" 

Even more confused, Mizuki nodded. "I really think you should consider Dry Juice, though." He said, still persisting.

Aoba scoffed as he finished his glass. "I don't need protection." He stated, folding his hands on his lap and sighing. 

Mizuki shrugged and leaned back in his chair with a smile. "Are you still against getting a tattoo, too?" He asked, tilting his head slightly. "I could hook you up, that's for sure."

Seeming to think it over, Aoba gave a slight chuckle. "I'll get back to you on that. It's tempting." 

"Well, if there's anything I can do for you, anything at all..." Mizuki started, giving Aoba a serious look. 

With a bit of a sigh, Aoba smirked subliminally, then sent himself into hysterics, tears coming down his rather desperate face. He made a few anguished sounds and buried his face in his hands. "It's not fair." He managed out through his tears.

Shocked at the sudden change of mood, Mizuki leaned forward and placed his hand against Aoba's back. "Are you alright? What's the matter?"

"Koujaku... I love him so much, I can't believe he's with someone else..." He pleaded out, wiping the corners of his eyes with the silk cloth he pulled from his suit pocket. "I wish he just saw how much we could have been..."

Mizuki sighed and rubbed Aoba's back in an attempt to comfort him. "It'll be okay, I promise." He tried to reassure him. "Maybe if you just try to tell him how you feel...?" He suggested.

The paler of the two sighed deeply. "It'd be a lot easier if his fiance was just... Out of the picture..." He said, his eyes cornering Mizuki quietly, anxiously waiting for his reply.

A moment of true contemplation hit Mizuki. He already had a reason to hate Noiz, but seeing his friend so broken and disturbed over Noiz as well, it really set him off. "I could... I could kill him." He said shakily, staring at the ground. "I could do that for you." He looked to Aoba with a nod. "You could be with Koujaku if he was gone, right?" He wasn't too fond on Aoba being with Koujaku, either, but would've liked that more than if Koujaku stayed with Noiz.

Aoba sniffled, then nodded slowly. "A-are you sure you'd want to risk prison for that, though?" He questioned, looking at Mizuki as if he were something more than just a man. Perhaps a god.

A moment of hesitation followed but eventually faded into Mizuki nodding confidently. "For you." He corrected. "I'm doing this for you." He nodded again, looking to Aoba. "I'll kill him."

With a deep sigh, Aoba wrapped his arms around Mizuki's shoulders and hugged him, a small smirk on his lips. "This means a lot..." He said, his voice still stained with his mock-sorrow. He was beginning to struggle with holding the real Aoba inside. Being the ignored part of the man was hard, but Sly always found ways to be noticed. 

"I know. But I said I'd do anything you need, and it's important that I do this." He hugged the bluenett tightly, then released him with a smile. 

"Alright." He said, standing and brushing himself off. "Thank you." He smiled compassionately. "I'll take my leave now, but it was a pleasure seeing you, Mizuki." He spoke earnestly, then began to step to the door.

Mizuki thought it was a bit odd for Aoba to leave so soon, but dismissed it. He had dishes to do, after all. "Alright, farewell." He said with a smile.

"Till next time." Aoba chimed, stepping out of the door and into the daylight, his face beaming, nearly radiating with happiness. Once Noiz was out of the way, he could have everything he wanted, and by all means, he'd get what he wanted. Even if it meant that the man Koujaku supposedly loved would lose his life in the process. 

Simply, he had to come first in all matters, since he'd never been the first priority before. He saw it as entitlement. And nothing was sweeter than the love of someone thought to be forbidden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there's Aoba / Sly! This was difficult to write, since I planned so much for this chapter. I'm thinking I'll probably have 5 or 6 more chapters after this one. I hope it was worth the read! I'm looking forward to the next chapters, you won't want to miss what's next.  
> As always, you can follow my personal blog for updates on the fic, or just track the tag "The Heart OF The Forgotten" on tumblr.  
> Thank you all for the support!


	7. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This chapter includes smut*

Sweet chuckles filled the hallway as Noiz and Koujaku traveled back to their hotel room, nearly racing one another. "Stop!" Koujaku said with a breathless laugh as Noiz wrapped his arms around his ribs for the fifth time and arched his fingers slightly, filling his body with a giddy, ticklish feeling. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and hunched over as he laughed heartily. He'd never forgive Noiz for finding his ticklish areas.

Ticklish spots were a new thing to Noiz, something he didn't know had existed prior to this afternoon. Regardless of Koujaku's pleas, he continued to tickle him. The way he laughed so uncontrollably and boisterously was hilarious, and quite frankly, Noiz didn't want to stop. "That's what you get for splashing me like that, jackass." He retorted, then chuckled and pressed his head between Koujaku's shoulder blades and held him tightly from behind with a soft, secret smile.

Collecting his breath, Koujaku smiled and placed his arms against Noiz's, then pulled him into the hotel room swiftly, giving him a small twirl as he shut the door and laid a soft kiss against the blond's lips. 

Noiz kissed back gently, paralyzed with happiness for the first time in, well, forever. The two had spent the entire afternoon in the pool, playing around, and swimming once Noiz got the hang of it and Koujaku was reassured that he wouldn't almost drown again. Noiz found that he really enjoyed being able to move freely among water. It provided that sense of security that he was always craving, only it seemed even more expansive when he could move freely.

A small sigh left Koujaku's lips once he began to pull his lips away from Noiz's. "I had a really nice time with you today." He said softly, moving a strand of Noiz's damp hair from his face. 

Nodding in agreement, Noiz looked up at Koujaku. "It was fun. I think I like the pool." He confirmed, letting himself rest in Koujaku's arms for a moment. He was rather tired from exerting so much energy, even though it was well-spent. 

"So, I was thinking," Koujaku began, slowly guiding his fingers through Noiz's slightly tangled hair. 

"Shocker." Noiz murmured sarcastically, glancing up to catch Koujaku's expression with a slight smirk.

The taller of the pair rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. "I was thinking that maybe you'd let me take you out tonight?" He half-questioned, looking patiently to Noiz for his answer. "I thought it'd be nice to go to dinner, maybe go sight seeing for a little bit?"

Noiz savored the thought for a moment. Was he proposing a date? Dates had always seemed nice, but they obviously weren't necessary in the situation that the two of them were in. They were getting married no matter what, and courting wasn't really necessary. But the thought was beautiful. "Remember last time you tried to take me sight seeing?" He reminded with a sly smirk.

The memory seemed to make Koujaku blush slightly, though his smile didn't retreat a single bit. "Well, it doesn't have to go that way tonight, unless of course it goes that way... and plus, that was a heat of the moment thing, Noiz. It's not fair for you to think it'll happen like that all the time." He said in a slightly whiny voice, obviously flustered over his lack of self-control.

Noiz couldn't help but burst out laughing at that. "Oh please. You've been all over me since you picked me up this morning." the blond teased, walking out of Koujaku's arms and moving towards the bathroom. 

Koujaku quickly wrapped his arms around Noiz from behind, his body pressing fully against his. "Then shut me up." He murmured against Noiz's ear in a low tone.

This was rather unexpected, but welcome nonetheless. Noiz leaned against the frame of the taller man and sighed slowly, the air leaving his lips with a certain grace before his smile turned to a bit of a smirk. "Isn't it proper etiquette to buy me dinner first?" He joked, turning his head a little in order to press his lips against Koujaku's jaw. "Or is romance dead?"

A frustrated, yet playful groan sounded from Koujaku. "You're impossible." He stated, hooking his fingers under Noiz's chin as he stole a small kiss. 

"And you still have no self control." the blond retorted and stuck his tongue out.

Koujaku smirked. "Careful, I might bite that." He pointed to Noiz's tongue, then released his body and began to move to the bathroom. "Come on, you have to shower off, or else your skin's gonna be all sticky from the chlorine."

Noiz shrugged, guessing that the reason was valid enough. He followed Koujaku soundlessly to the bathroom and closed the door behind them.

Once they were inside, Koujaku let his towel drop from his shoulders. "I think you might be a natural swimmer." Koujaku noted as he hooked his fingers into the waist of his swimming trunks and inched them down a bit. "A bit too fearless, but nonetheless."

Noiz's eyes grazed over Koujaku's body discreetly, He was more muscular than he'd originally thought. The tattoos were a bit of a surprise, but they were beautiful in Noiz's opinion. "I've always liked taking baths." Noiz mumbled among the slight trance he found himself in as he studied his fiance's body. He idly began to pull off his swim trunks as well, noticing that they were sticking to his thighs a bit as he peeled them off. 

Koujaku met Noiz's glance for a brief moment, but quickly darted his eyes back to the ground once they'd shared the gaze. "Did you want to shower alone?" He asked without looking at him as he fully removed his swim trunks and set them on the sink.

A small shrug came from the blond. "I don't mind if we shower together, if that's what you had in mind." he discarded his swim trunks, then stepped to the shower quietly. "I'll let you turn on the water. I dont care what temperature it is, I can't feel it anyway."

Koujaku stepped into the shower after Noiz, then turned the knobs a bit and yelped. "Fuck that's hot!" He yelled, then quickly turned the other knob until the right balance of hot and cold rained down from the shower head, a relieved sigh following. He hesitated a moment before he turned to Noiz. "...You seriously couldn't feel that?"

The German shook his head indifferently. "No." He replied simply, making the sorrow that came with the trait stay far away from the conversation. "Sorry..."

"Don't apologize, you did nothing wrong." Koujaku reassured with his constant smile. As the water came down, Koujaku stepped forward and let his face go directly under the shower head, his fingers moving slowly over his skin as if he were washing something such as delicate china, rather than his own face.

Noiz marveled silently at the careful traces of Koujaku's fingers over his own face, and couldn't help but think back to all of the times that Koujaku would touch Noiz's face like that. He wondered if it meant that he cared about him, since he treated him so gently. A sudden thought crossed his mind, and before Noiz knew it, he had taken a step forward. 

Koujaku glanced down at Noiz with a brief smile, momentarily stopping his hands as he did so. "What?" He asked softly, returning his eyes to their closed state.

Hesitantly, Noiz reached up to Koujaku's face and willed himself to be gentle. He slowly traced his fingertips down the sides of Koujaku's cheeks, then his jaw. His fingers were barely against his skin, but still there. He stayed silent, just trying to will himself to feel yet again. He furrowed his brow as he moved his fingertips to Koujaku's hair and lethargically, cautiously pulled his fingers through the black strands. He took in a deep breath as tears began to well in his eyes, his fingertips moving to the skin of his neck and shoulders now. The tears would have went unnoticed if not for his pained expression.

Koujaku gave a look of compassion to Noiz, then settled his hands on top of his and gave them a light squeeze before pulling the blond into an embrace. He understood, in a way, why he was so upset. 

Noiz felt like such a bitch for crying over the stupidest things, but was grateful for Koujaku's understanding. Not being able to feel was so frustrating to him, and he hated every second that he even thought about it. "I cant do it..." He managed out in a choked tone. "I'm trying but I just... I cant." He continued, pulling himself closer to Koujaku.

"I'm going to love you nonetheless." Koujaku said, pressing his forehead to Noiz's and looking into his eyes. "Even if you never get that sense... I'll always be more than happy with what you are." 

A bit of a huff left Noiz as a gentle smile found his lips. "I hope so." He mumbled, leaning up a bit and stealing a kiss. "You're kinda stuck with me." He joked.

Koujaku chuckled in response. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather be stuck with."

"Nobody?" Noiz inquired.

"Nobody." Koujaku smiled, running his fingertips through Noiz's hair slowly. "Nobody at all could compare to you."

All of this praise and love was a bit overwhelming, and a bit new to Noiz. He was never quite sure how to respond when Koujaku said things like that. He decided that maybe speaking his mind would be sufficient enough of a reciprocation. His voice cracked slightly as he began, "I've never felt things like this before. I'm so used to silence and loneliness, and then all of a sudden, you come in and completely change my view of life." He paused for a second with a brief sigh. "Maybe one day I'll get a complete grasp on the situation... But right now, I think I'm content with how free I feel. I'm just floating through unknown areas, and I've never felt more free. I've never felt... love." He stopped and looked off to the side. "Love was always a pipe dream for me. I never thought it'd happen."

"Well it's happening now." Koujaku interrupted, placing his hand on Noiz's jaw. "And I'm telling you now, it's never going to end." A small smile escaped his lips. "That's a promise."

Noiz smiled slightly, then kissed Koujaku soulfully, appreciative of the promise. "That'd be great." He murmured sweetly.

"I'm glad you think so." Koujaku smiled sweetly.

A moment of silence followed the small comments, the two seemingly finding peace and comfort in the statements they shared. Noiz nearly felt like the entire scenario was just a dream. An alternate universe where his past didn't happen, and his future was destined to be perfect. A place where he could love freely. Everything seemed so much different outside of those four walls. "I think that's a bit too deep of a conversation to have whilst showering." He laughed softly.

"Maybe, but it's a nice topic, I think," he chimed, pressing his lips to Noiz's forehead gently. "Ready to go get changed?" his smile seemed rather vibrant under the dim light that made its way through the shower curtain.

Noiz nodded. "Yeah. If I have to spend much more time naked with you, I have a feeling you'll lose it," the blond joked, a small smirk on his lips.

The way Koujaku rolled his eyes was nearly audible. "You know, I have a lot of self control," He gloated, tossing a towel to Noiz and beginning to pat his own dark hair dry, "It's not fair for you to keep judging me just because I jerked you off in my car." His lips curled into a slight smirk, showing that he was joking.

The blond chuckled and shook his hair dry, then wrapped the towel around his waist. "We'll see, you big idiot." He mumbled suggestively, heading through the door. He loved teasing Koujaku, and he completely knew how mean he was being by doing so. It was just hilarious to keep him guessing, and to see how far he'd go to defend himself.

Koujaku trailed the blond out into the living room with his towel now wrapped around his waist. He came up behind Noiz and hugged his waist, leaving a soft kiss against the side of his neck. "Love you." He half-whispered, placing his chin on Noiz's shoulder quietly.

"I know. I love you too." He replied, placing his hands over-top of Koujaku's. He felt safe when Koujaku held him like this. It was comforting to be so close to him. "Let me go, I gotta get changed. I've got a date with a massive dork." He said sarcastically, moving Koujaku's hands away from his waist.

The dark haired man smirked and held Noiz tighter. "Sounds lame as hell, you should ditch him." He joked, placing a small kiss to his cheek before he finally released his fiance. 

Noiz stepped over to the dresser and fished around in the drawer for a moment. “You know, this is technically my first date,” He mused, pulling out a black button-up shirt. “You better make it worth my while.”

Coming over and sitting at the edge of the bed, Koujaku gave a light chuckle. “I’ve got things planned for tonight, don’t worry.” His voice took on a clever tone, as if he had marvelous secrets that he was trying to entice Noiz with.

The sound of his voice forced Noiz to roll his eyes. “Yeah, I bet you do. Keep it in your fucking pants, dork.” He mumbled, positioning a light green tie over his chest and tying it carefully, making sure it was at what his parents said was the acceptable length.

“I didn’t mean it like that, and you know it!” Koujaku objected, throwing himself back against the mattress with a loud, exaggerated sigh.

The frustration of the other summoned a soft smirk to the blond’s lips as he pulled on a pair of simple black slacks. He turned to Koujaku, then crawled on top of him and straddled his hips, then pressed his hands to his chest and leaned down a bit, pressing a kiss to Koujaku’s cheek. “I know.” He reassured.

Koujaku, still clad in just a towel, looked up to Noiz with a confident smirk. He brought himself up on his elbows and ran a hand through his damp hair slowly. “Okay, good.” He said softly, wrapping his arms around Noiz’s hips and tugging him down to the bed with him. “God, I love you.” He spoke in a cheery, elated tone, then began to pepper small kisses against Noiz’s cheeks.

A soft bout of laughter left Noiz and he weakly pushed at Koujaku. “Ew, gross!” He squirmed, trying to get away from Koujaku, then pulled the man into his arms and smiled a bit. “I love you too.” He finally replied.

Koujaku smiled and nuzzled his face against Noiz’s neck. “I’m glad,” He half whispered.

Noiz couldn’t really explain how he felt in Koujaku’s arms. He guessed it was a mixture of security and contentment, but he’d never felt anything like this in his life. That was no surprise, though. Being locked away didn’t exactly warrant for any sort of healthy relationship. All he knew is that his brain seemed to stop working so hard all the time, and his breathing was always steady when he was in Koujaku’s proximity. It was as if his anxiety didn’t effect him here, like this was the only serene place that he could just let his body waver between reality and dreams. And quite frankly, it felt great to have things so free-flowing for once in his life. “Go get dressed, nerd.” He spoke in an airy, dream-like tone.

With a groan, Koujaku nodded and placed another small kiss against Noiz’s lips. “Fine.” He replied, then crawled off of the bed and stumbled over to the dresser. He tugged on a red button-up, accompanied by a black silk tie and a pair of black slacks.

****Noiz watched Koujaku get dressed and rolled onto his stomach. "You know, I'm excited for tonight." He said, tracing his fingertips across the bedspread idly. It looked rather shiny in the light, so he assumed it was either silk or satin. The red hue of it was marvelous, shining seductively under the yellow glowing lights, like ripples of red wine were sprawled across the mattress. He found it mesmerizing that texture and color could amplify the feelings of a moment so much. It felt like a dull excitement in the pit of his stomach, but he couldn't quite put his finger on the name of it.

Koujaku glanced over at Noiz with a slight smile at the corner of his lips. "Me too." He replied, tying his tie carefully before sitting on the bed and ruffling Noiz's hair playfully.

Noiz placed his chin on Koujaku's thigh. "When can we leave?" He asked, rolling over to look up at his fiance with a pondering expression.

"Now, if you want," He replied quietly as he traced his fingertips over Noiz's cheek.

The blond nodded and stood from the bed. "Sounds good. Lets get outta here." He tugged on his shoes and grabbed Koujaku's hand.

Koujaku slid into his shoes and gave Noiz's hand a slight squeeze as they exited the room and made their way through the immaculate hall once again.

This time when the elevator jerked slightly, Noiz was barely phased by it. He guessed it was just something he had to get used to, but that didn't stop Koujaku from giving his hand a little squeeze whenever the elevator did something unanticipated. It always made Noiz chuckle.

The pair headed out to Koujaku's car. Noiz kept himself occupied by watching the series of tall buildings pass as they drove. He was fascinated by the city, despite the little anxiety attack he'd had a few days prior. 

Koujaku stopped in front of a rather cute looking restaurant. It was smaller than the one that they'd been at with their parents, and it had a bit more of a casual atmosphere. The people that could be seen inside seemed rather happy, like life was a delicacy of the gods. They seemed comfortable, almost like nothing really mattered in the long run. Noiz couldn't help but wonder if People were supposed to act like that in public.

The taller of the two untied his tie and set it in the back seat. "I know you were expecting somewhere high class, but I think I should show you what life is actually like." He spoke in a relaxed tone, then undid the top button of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves. 

Noiz was obviously confused. He had been taught that he always had to look his best in the presence of others, not to mention in Koujaku's presence, but here Koujaku was making himself look less elegant. Noiz had to admit, though, the change had made him seem more attractive somehow. He watched as his long fingers ran through his black strands, and those gorgeous crimson orbs gave Noiz a confident look, followed by a small smirk.

"Well, are you gonna go in there looking like a monkey, or are you gonna loosen up a bit?" He implored, leaning over to Noiz and tugging his tie away, tossing it in the back seat along with his own. 

Noiz reluctantly unbuttoned the first button of his shirt, then rolled up his sleeves. "Like this?" He looked at Koujaku for confirmation.

He earned a smile. "Perfect." His eyes gazed over Noiz's chest, his smirk growing slightly.

Noiz nodded unsurely, then moved out of the car with Koujaku's hand held tightly in his.

Koujaku lead the blond into the the rather relaxed atmosphere. Inside was rather warm, the tables were taller than the ones Noiz was used to. They were circular, and each one had a few tall chairs gathered around them. A small crowd of people were joined at a counter that was set off to the right with stools lined up in front of it. Laughter and loud conversations nearly blocked out the sweet, soulful music that was played. Perhaps the thing that was the most intriguing about this place was the fact that a few couples were dancing near the center of the place.

Noiz had to admit this was a change of scenery for him. It wasn't necessarily a bad change, but it was definitely different. He cracked a small smile as Koujaku lead him to a table. He hoisted himself up onto one of the tall chairs and chuckled slightly from being so high up. 

Koujaku leaned against his chair with a small smile as he watched Noiz. "Different, huh?" He asked, leaning forward and propping himself up on his elbows against the table. "I figured we could take a break from being rich kids." He laughed.

Noiz nodded with a soft smile. He looked to the dancing couples and marveled at how they moved. "Think we can do that?" He looked to Koujaku hopefully.

Koujaku took Noiz's hand and pulled him from the table with a vivid smile, giving him a slight twirl as he pulled him to the dance floor and began to dance gracefully with him.

It took Noiz a minute to work out his footwork, but he eventually got into the beat with Koujaku. He smiled as he watched their feet, one hand clasped in Koujaku's hand, the other on his waist. They spun happily around the room, assimilating with the small crowd of people who seemed to not have a single care in the world. 

Koujaku spun Noiz with a luminescent laugh, then pulled him back to his chest and swayed, placing a kiss to his forehead. "You're not half bad." he complimented, moving around the floor with Noiz in his arms.

Noiz looked up at Koujaku as they moved. It was surreal to him, how happy he felt. This was the true feeling of life. This wasn't what his parents had described at all. This was living. Overtaken by the emotion, he leaned up and stole a kiss form Koujaku. "You're amazing." He said over the voices that surrounded them.

The taller of the two smiled brightly when Noiz's slightly muffled words met his ears. "I'm not," He began, bringing Noiz back over to the table, "I'm just showing you a bit of a variety." 

The blond nodded and reluctantly pulled himself back up onto his seat. "I like it.” He said softly, his fingertips tracing over the slightly scratched surface of the table.

A waitress stepped over to the pair and smiled brightly. Noiz had no idea what kind of food he could order here, so he let Koujaku order for him. The young woman nodded happily and disappeared back into the crowd, making her way to the kitchen.

Koujaku leaned against the table and looked to Noiz, his eyes glowering with an absolute adoration for what they were seeing, almost as if he could find himself to be content for the rest of his life if only Noiz’s image would be burned into his memory just like this, elegant yet disheveled, but most importantly, happy. He looked like he was enjoying himself, and like he was letting go for the first time.

Unaware of Koujaku’s endearing stare, Noiz looked amongst the crowd. He noticed that nobody was dressed to the nines, and nobody was acting stiff and formal. Not in the slightest. He had the idea in his head that that was how normal people acted at all times. He guessed that was another standard synthesized in his mind by his parents. After a while, his serpentine eyes turned to find his fiance. He offered a small smile before resting his jaw on his fist and raising a brow. “Enjoying the view?” He joked.

Koujaku just smiled wider. “More than you can imagine.” He spoke in just above a whisper, his words nearly love-drunk.

Those words caused Noiz’s lips to smile shyly. “Jerk.” He mumbled, turning his torso to face Koujaku. He felt content, perhaps even alive for once.

The waitress brought over two glasses of water and set them on the table, reassuring that their food would arrive soon before dismissing herself back to the kitchen.

Noiz leaned against the table and sighed softly, looking up to Koujaku. “You know, I’m seriously happy right now. I know that’s a bit of a stretch for me, but really.” his lips curled into a small smile. He took a sip of his water and looked back to the dancing people. Just their presence made everything seem so much brighter and more vivid to him.

Koujaku let his hand creep across the table and settle on top of Noiz’s. “I’m really glad you feel that way.” He replied gently. He gave his hand a small squeeze and sighed as if he could die happy just knowing what he knew in that moment; that Noiz was his and they were in this unconditional devotion.

The blond looked up to him again. “Can we try to always stay like this?” he asked, almost like he was hopeful.

Koujaku turned his head slightly. “What do you mean by that?” he asked in return.

Noiz took a deep breath, then looked to the table. “Happy…” He mumbled. “My parents… they don’t really act like we do around each other. Its almost like something got lost between them.” He spoke distantly. “It might be normal, since I don’t really know how love works, but god, I hope it’s not.”

The taller of the pair leaned across the table, then kissed his fiance gently. As he pulled away, a content smile found his lips. “It’ll always be like this.” He said softly. “Always. No matter what I have to do to keep it this way.”

The confirmation made Noiz smile. “Good.” He nodded, running the pad of his thumb over the back of Koujaku’s hand.

Breaking apart the serene moment, the waitress returned and settled their food in front of the pair, then smiled brightly and wished them a good meal before returning to her other tables.

Koujaku looked down to his food and began to dig in. He was famished from all of the swimming earlier.

Noiz was also hungry, but he stared at his plate in confusion. “What’s this?” He asked, instinctively folding his napkin and putting it on his lap. He looked for silverware, but the waitress hadn't brought any. He was becoming more and more bewildered.

With a soft laugh, Koujaku looked him over. He guessed he could take the rich kid out of the castle, but he couldn’t take the castle out of the rich kid. “It’s a burger.” He informed him, showing him how to pick it up. "Like this." He guided.

The blond looked rather shocked. People could eat with their hands? He slowly picked up the burger and brought it to his mouth. "Do I just... bite it?" He looked to Koujaku.

He chuckled and nodded in reply, taking a rather large bite of his own burger. He chewed, then swallowed and picked up a french fry. "And the same goes for these." He tossed it into his mouth.

Noiz nodded, then opened his mouth and took a bite of the burger. The flavor was different, as if it wasn't designed for a specific pallet. The way it was composed wasn't really balanced, and it was actually sort of strange at first. Noiz enjoyed it, nonetheless. He enjoyed that it was missing complexity and it was thrown together. He set down the burger and decided to try one of the fries, and he really liked those too. Maybe things didn't always have to be elegant to be good.

Koujaku quickly finished off his food, then took small sip of his water as his gaze shifted from Noiz to the crowd of people, which was gradually thinning as the night grew older. "Do you like it?" He asked.

Noiz nodded quickly, then dabbed the corners of his mouth with his napkin once he finished. "Fucking incredible." He mumbled.

Koujaku smiled softly and set some money on the table, then took Noiz's hand. "Come on. This date's not over yet." he said gently, waving to the waitress as they stepped outside.

Squeezing his scarred hand gently, Noiz walked alongside him. He looked around at all of the bright lights filling the nearly dark sky. It was gorgeous, really. He hadn't seen anything like it. 

With a gentle smile, Koujaku crossed the road while he held Noiz's hand tightly. Across the road was a sort of park. At the center was a large fountain that was lit up so that it appeared aquamarine in color. Water spouted out at the top, shooting nearly fifteen feet in the air. Around and under the water were approximately five life sized sculptures of angels with brilliant, elaborate wings. There was a cobblestone path around the fountain, and a few benches were here and there with flower beds around the entire scene. It was all breathtaking.

Upon seeing the fountain, Noiz's eyes lit up and his breath stopped in his throat. It was simply gorgeous, and he had to stop to take it all in. He sighed deeply and looked at the angels, then the roses. It was all too perfect.

Koujaku smiled brightly when he saw Noiz's reaction. "Thought you might like it." He said softly, as if trying not to disturb his moment. 

It took a moment for Noiz to reply, but he nodded slowly. "Yeah... Yeah it's gorgeous." He mumbled, taking a few steps closer to the fountain. It was so elaborate. He looked into the pool of water underneath it, and saw all of the little coins gathered on the submerged tiles. "Why are there coins in here?" He asked.

With a small chuckle, Koujaku leaned over the edge with Noiz. "They're wishes." he whispered. "People throw coins into the water and make a wish or two." He handed Noiz a dime. "You're not supposed to tell anyone your wish, though." He clasped a nickel in his own hand, then tossed it into the water and closed his eyes, making a small wish to himself.

Noiz watched him, then nodded a bit and thought for a moment before tossing his dime into the water. He closed his eyes slowly and sighed. A wish. He brought his hands to Koujaku's ring that he kept around his neck and clasped it gently. He wished for his safety. He always wanted Koujaku to be safe, no matter what would happen. Noiz had never loved anyone or anything like he loved this man, and he never ever wanted to watch him hurt. He wanted him to have the best luck in the world, and all of the happiness he deserved. So he wished for his safety.

Koujaku watched him with half lidded happy eyes. It was obvious that he was lovestruck by Noiz, and he never wanted to lose him. When he saw the fluorescent green eyes resurface, he leaned and kissed him gently.

Slowly, softly, Noiz kissed back. He gently wrapped his arms around his torso and sighed, making sure that Koujaku was close. He pulled away slowly and smiled to himself. "Thank you." 

Koujaku caressed his cheek a bit. "You're welcome. I wanted to take you out." He said.

He shook his head. "No, I wasn't thanking you for that." He said, placing a small kiss to his cheek. "I was thanking you for everything you've done. Everything you've given me." Noiz corrected.

With a grin, Koujaku stole another kiss. "There's no need to thank me." 

Noiz shrugged, "I wanted to."

Koujaku took his hand and brought him to the cobblestone path, then held his hands. With a deep sigh, he looked into Noiz's eyes. "Listen, Noiz... I never really thought we'd be in love. I thought this would be a disaster, and Id be stuck with someone I didn't love." He spoke with passion in his tone. "Im just... Im so glad that its not the case. Im glad that we're in love." He said.

Noiz smiled and gently caressed his cheek. "Me too." He replied. "Nothing seemed real until the night I met you."

With a nervous sigh, Koujaku squeezed his hands. He released them, then kissed him gently before getting down on one knee and pulling a small black box from his pocket. "I know I don't have to propose, but... I really wanted to." He said, looking up to Noiz. He opened the box and held it up a bit.

The ring inside was beyond gorgeous. It was a pale white gold with a beautiful assortment of diamonds scattered on the surface, like stars, with one large diamond in the middle. 

Noiz really couldn't breathe now. He met Koujaku's crimson eyes and sighed, a small smile on his lips as he whispered Koujaku's name.

"Will you marry me, Noiz? Will you make me the happiest man to ever live?" He asked, taking the ring from the box. "I swear to protect you, and to stay by your side. No matter what happens."

With a soft breath, Noiz nodded. "Yes. I'll marry you." He confirmed, a huge smile coming across his lips. 

Koujaku smiled widely and stood up, grabbing Noiz's waist and kissing him deeply.

Noiz kissed back, clutching onto his shirt as he tilted his head a bit.

Koujaku pulled away a bit, then took his hand and slid the ring onto his finger, grinning as he watched the small diamonds sparkle. It was perfect for him.

The blond looked down to his finger and smiled brightly, tears welling in his eyes as he slowly turned his hand from side to side to watch the small diamonds sparkle, just like the sky was doing with all of the stars right now. He threw his arms around Koujaku and held him tightly. 

Koujaku closed his eyes and held him close, his hands holding his body as if it were his only lifeline. "I love you, Noiz." He whispered against the soft blond hair. 

"I love you too." He replied. "More than anything." Noiz gently ran his fingertips through his black hair and sighed, feeling so secure and safe in the moment.

They stayed like that for a while, close and comfortable with each other. Eventually, Koujaku lead him back to the car and helped him inside. 

Once in the car, Noiz slipped off the ring to look at it again. Just then, he caught a view of the inside of the band. Something was engraved into it. He looked at it closer and sighed with a soft grin when he saw the little inscription. 'My Rose'. He slipped it back on his hand and held Koujaku's hand while he drove.

When they returned to the hotel, Koujaku opened Noiz's door for him and held his hand as they went back up to the room. He closed the door behind them and sighed softly, content with the events that had taken place. They'd been executed just the way he'd wanted them to be.

Once there, Noiz smirked and tickled Koujaku''s abdomen again. He was still so amused by the way he automatically broke out into laughter whenever he did it.

Without hesitation, Koujaku buckled over and started laughing. He grabbed at Noiz's shoulders. "Stop it!!" He cried out, laughing too hard to sound serious.

Noiz smirked and pushed him back onto the bed, straddling him and tickling his sides with a determined face. 

Koujaku's body jutted as he laughed. "Noiz, I mean it~!" He half yelled.

After he was satisfied, Noiz rested his head on Koujaku's chest, then softly kissed at his neck as he let his torso press down against his slightly. He loved making Koujaku laugh like that.

Koujaku closed his eyes and hummed gently, running his long fingers through Noiz's blond hair. "You're a jackass." he mumbled in a mesmerized tone as he tilted back his head a bit, allowing him easier access to his neck.

There it was again. Noiz felt that familiar dull fire in the pit of his stomach. He traced his hands down Koujaku's sides slowly as he kissed the side of his neck. He parted his lips just slightly and traced the tip of his tongue over the delicate pale skin to test his reaction.

When he felt Noiz's tongue, Koujaku sighed gently, his hands moving over his lower back before resting on Noiz's ass. He gave it a firm squeeze and smirked to himself.

Noiz pressed closer to Koujaku and breathed hotly against his neck before latching his teeth onto the skin and sucking at it just a bit. He wanted to leave a few marks on him, to show that he was claimed. Admittedly, he was a bit possessive of Koujaku, but he had every right to be. His whole life, nothing had ever belonged to him. And now, the only thing he wanted to belong to him was Koujaku. So if he had to fight for that, he'd gladly do it. But it wasn't enough to just have him be his. He needed everyone to know that he was his. 

A soft gasp left Koujaku's lips as he felt the mark starting to form. He arched his hips just a bit, pushing against Noiz. He'd never craved anyone or anything like this in his whole life. He'd loved other people before, but nothing had ever driven him this crazy.

A small sigh came from Noiz as he pulled his lips way from his neck and looked up to see his face. He kissed his jaw, trying to coax his eyes down to him.

Koujaku opened his eyes and looked down to Noiz. He leaned and pressed his lips to his, then flipped their positions by rolling Noiz onto his back and straddling him. Once there, he released his lips and started to unbutton his own shirt, keeping eye contact with his fiance.

Noiz bit at his lower lip slightly, then reached up to help him undress. He tossed Koujaku's shirt to the side and sighed admirably at his tattoos. He loved them, and thought they were absolutely gorgeous. He reached to his own shirt and slowly unbuttoned it and tossed it aside as well. 

Koujaku's hands slowly traced over Noiz's body. He leaned down and kissed his jaw softly, then slowly started to grind against him. He could feel his dick getting hard as he let his mind race with fantasies he'd been thinking up since god knows when.

Noiz arched his body to his and sighed deeply, wrapping his arms around Koujaku's hips. He slowly brought them around to the front of his pants and unbuttoned them slowly, pulling down the zipper and gently running his fingertips against his lightly clothed erection as he did that. 

With a shiver, Koujaku placed his hands on Noiz's hips and moved his slightly agape mouth to his neck, breathing against it as he tugged off Noiz's pants. 

Slowly, Noiz removed Koujaku's pants as well. He could feel his chest rise and fall quicker as he became more anticipatory of what he knew was soon to follow. He grabbed Koujaku's growing erection and lightly rubbed his hand against it as he felt the dull sensation of the mans lips move across his neck.

Koujaku pulled away slowly and let out a serene moan, confirming that he was enjoying the feelings that Noiz was creating within him. "Noiz..." He mumbled. "T-take them off." He said. 

Noiz obeyed and slowly tugged off Koujaku's boxers, then wrapped his hand around the base of his cock before beginning to shyly stroke him. 

Wit ha gentle groan, the larger of the two finished undressing Noiz. This was what he'd been waiting for. He'd been waiting to have Noiz below him, so vulnerable and innocent. He wanted to show him real passion. He wanted to give him all that he could. He gently pushed Noiz's knees up, then sighed nervously and brought his fingers to his mouth, then began to coat them with saliva. 

A gentle sigh left Noiz's lips as he watched Koujaku. He was extremely nervous, and he could feel himself starting to shake. He didn't know what to do, so he just watched him, hoping that he'd be alright. He'd sort of been dreading their first time, since he wasn't sure if he'd be able to feel anything that Koujaku did to him. He knew he wanted to feel it, badly. He wanted his moans to be genuine, and he wanted to know what the sensations were going to be like.

Koujaku pulled his fingers away from his mouth and looked up to Noiz as he slowly brought his index finger to his entrance. "Are you sure you're alright?" he inquired in just above a whisper.

Noiz blushed red, his legs quivering just slightly with anxiousness. "Y-you don't have to ask stupid questions..." He mumbled in a shaky tone of voice, breaking eye contact. "Just... Just fuck me." He said needily.

Koujaku smirked a bit. "So the same guy who denied me for the longest time is begging now?" He teased with a soft smile. He leaned down and kissed his lips gently, to block out any sarcastic comment that might come from him, then slowly pushed in the finger.

Noiz jolted slightly when he felt the digit enter him. He hadn't expected to feel that, but he'd felt it vividly. He gasped and closed his eyes, throwing himself into the kiss.

Even Koujaku was surprised that he'd felt it. He slowly eased it the rest of the way in, then recoiled his finger and added a second one as he pushed in a second time. He allowed Noiz to adjust before moving any farther. 

The blond let out a soft moan into his fiance's mouth. The feeling was strange, but he craved more. He pulled away from the kiss and whispered erotically. "I want more~" 

Koujaku returned his lips to his and began to move his fingers in and out of him, making sure he was used to the feeling. After he felt that Noiz was ready, he pulled his fingers out of him.

Noiz whined gently at the loss, but didn't say anything. He held his legs where Koujaku had put them, and looked to him patiently, even though he could barely stand the wait. He wanted to feel him. Really feel him.

Koujaku aligned his hips with Noiz's and placed his hands on his hips. He looked down at his fiance's eyes with a lusty expression, his sighs sounding heavier and heavier as he finally pressed the head of his cock against him. He eased into him slowly, making sure to be gentle. He didn't want to hurt him.

Biting his lip, Noiz inhaled sharply with slight pain. He wasn't ready for how thick Koujaku was, but this feeling... this feeling was impeccable. He could feel. He was feeling pain, and pleasure, and it was just too much for him to handle. He let out a moan, closing his eyes as he tried to focus on the heat coiling in his abdomen. His fingers grasped at the wine red silk sheets and held there as he let himself adjust to Koujaku's intrusion.

Koujaku looked down at Noiz and sighed heavily, pushing farther into him until he was completely inside. He viewed his face and gently ran his fingertips down the side of it, watching his fiance's expression turn euphoric. He pulled his hips back slowly, then pushed into him again before starting out an easy pace. 

Noiz sighed hotly to himself and closed his eyes as his pale body moved with Koujaku's thrusts. He tilted his head back and let out another moan, moving his legs farther apart as his pace seemed to become consistent. He slowly moved his hands to Koujaku's sides, then wrapped his arms around his torso and gasped. His dick felt so amazing, and he couldn't help but wish he'd go faster.

Koujaku held his hips firmly as he began to move with a greater speed, his cock pushing deeper into Noiz's tight entrance as he did so. He grunted as a few wet noises started to make their way into the surrounding atmosphere of the room. He dug his nails into Noiz's sides gently, then closed his eyes as he struggled to keep his breath under control.

The blond bucked his hips slightly as Koujaku's pace and strength accelerated. His moans became laced with pure ecstasy as his body started to feel a tinge of desperateness all throughout him. He buried his head in the side of Koujaku's neck as gasped as he felt the head of his cock press up against a certain spot. "K-Koujaku~! Right th-there!" He half yelled, kissing at his lover's neck as he felt him thrust faster.

Koujaku found the spot again and continued to angle his thrusts so that he'd hit it nearly every time. He closed his eyes. "Noiz, you feel so good..." He murmured, holding his hips tightly as he plowed him, nearly senseless at this point.

Noiz was beginning to lose himself. He scraped his nails down Koujaku's back and moaned out his name repeatedly. He rolled his hips up as his eyes filled with stars. He didn't want Koujaku to stop, not even for a second. These feelings were just adding to everything he felt for Koujaku already. He whined softly and moved one of his hands, reaching to stroke his throbbing cock.

Koujaku stopped his hand, then grabbed Noiz's cock and began to stroke him, using his nails like he had the first time. "Let me take care of you." He spoke with lust coating his seductive tone. He pumped his hand in unison with his trusts, a heavy sigh emitting from his lungs as he fucked him.

Noiz couldn't stop panting. His body was nearly overwhelmed, and he felt a heavy heat firing in his abdomen. He knew he'd be done for soon. He tossed his head back and gasped, letting out a strew of moans. "Koujaku! I'm gonna c-cum..." He groaned, his hips twitching involuntarily.

"Me t-too..." The larger of the two mumbled, focused in on his movements. He kept pounding him, his breathing becoming hard as he felt himself almost at the edge. Just as he was about to cum, he pulled out of Noiz and stroked himself. As he groaned heavily, he emptied his load onto Noiz's stomach.

Noiz gasped a bit when he felt Koujaku pull out, but he smirked when he watched him finish himself off. He wasn't far behind. He reached down and grabbed Koujaku's hand, then grasped it and made his hand continue to stroke him. He let out a series of hot, desperate moans. Then, his breathing stopped and his vision went nearly blurry as he came the hardest he'd ever came in his life. 

Heavy panting replaced all of the noises that had been coming from the two previously as they began to calm down, finding the afterglow amongst the passion they'd conveyed.

Noiz gently sighed and wrapped his arms around Koujaku's torso, pulling him down to his body. "No nosebleed this time, huh loser?" He mumbled exhaustively, his eyes half lidded.

Koujaku rolled onto his side and kissed Noiz's lips gently. "That's only once in a while." He replied, continuing to pepper small kisses against his face.

Noiz giggled weakly and gave Koujaku a small squeeze. "Stop it." He murmured, burying his face in his chest. Once he could hear Koujaku's heartbeat, he truly felt perfect. 

In reply, Koujaku started to gently rub the lower part of his fiance's back. He'd finally caught his breath, and he was loving the fact that he had Noiz so close, the moment being so intimate. 

"Turn off the light." Noiz requested softly, his hands moving from Koujaku's body.

Koujaku sat up and reached over to tug at the small chain, the light disappearing from the room in return for the action. He returned to Noiz's arms once he'd turned it off.

Noiz smiled and rewarded him with a deep, long kiss. His arms slowly made their way around his body as they kissed.

Koujaku returned the kiss, holding him tightly as the kiss continued.

After a while, Noiz pulled away. "Hey. Guess what?"

"What?" Koujaku asked.

"I love you." The German smiled softly in the darkness. 

Koujaku grinned and kissed his forehead. "I love you too, sweetheart." He retorted. 

Noiz giggled softly and pressed closely to his body. "Good. Don't ever stop."

"I doubt I could." Koujaku said solemnly.

Noiz smiled. "Good." He mumbled, leaning up to kiss him again. "Cause I know for damn sure that I can't."

Koujaku ruffled his hair gently. "Get some sleep, dork." He spoke gently and endearingly.

Noiz gently flicked the side of his cheek and turned away from him, backing up against him like he was his shell.

Koujaku wrapped his arms around Noiz's waist and rested his chin against his shoulder, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Goodnight, my rose." He said gently, giving his body a soft squeeze.

Noiz closed his eyes and turned his head, pressing his lips to the side of Koujaku's face before he curled up in a ball and just let himself be held. "Goodnight." He said gently. As the blond drifted to sleep, he only had Koujaku on his mind. It was all so perfect with him. Absolutely stunning and perfect. He couldn't think of anything he could possibly want more than this. As long as he was with him, as long as they were together, he knew he'd never want for anything. And he knew his heart would be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the extremely late update. I don't plan on abandoning this fic. I know Im a pain in the ass, but I hope I make it worth your while.
> 
> Tumblr: http://koujakuzzi.tumblr.com/
> 
> Track tags (For updates and possible previews): THOTF, The Heart Of The Forgotten


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